iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

For what it's worth: I am not done. The work really is lifelong. I am an infinitely better, more aware, engaged human because of my son, and eternally grateful for what he's provided me

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

You have to be able to hold yourself accountable without spiraling into debilitating shame. Because the work is meaningful and will make you a more engaged, honest, trustworthy human who can be in more honest and meaningful community.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

This is deeply personal, vulnerable work. Often, deeply uncomfortable work. You are going to need to be OK with exploring some, maybe many, ugly truths, broad and personal. And you have to do that exploration without shutting down or letting your defenses drive.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

5. I read and read and read and read. Julia Serano's Whipping Girl was foundational for me, helping me understand humans are all on a spectrum and that trans people are no more than naturally occurring variations in the broader human development experience. 6. Then, I found parent community.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

4. I started to question *how* I knew what I knew about gender. What was the source material? Where was the information coming from? Who was the information in service of? Was it accurate?

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

2. The key is QUIETLY. I didn't interrupt; I didn't speak; I didn't insert myself. I was there to learn. Period. I donated to funds when possible, but otherwise was silent. 3. Those communities helped me start thinking of gender differently.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

f interested, the digital resource at top is one place to start. But also, here's what I personally did, specific to my son: 1. Several years ago, when my trans son was emerging, I quietly followed trans/queer people on Twitter (before it was a cesspool).

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

You start to realize people will tell you who they are. They'll give you pieces of themselves when they're read. They'll show you how they want you to see them in this world. And respecting their vision of themselves is pretty easy, especially when you let go of the bullshit.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

From my experience, once you start seeing the patterns, you can more easily clock the con. Then, pushing back and committing to REAL solidarity with marginalized and vulnerable communities becomes easier.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

Doing this work for myself specifically around being the parent I want to be for my trans son has, undeniably and necessarily, unravelled other harmful paradigms around me. Racism. Capitalism. Patriarchy. Sexism.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

What assumptions, both conscious and subconscious, am I making? Where do I need to dismantle internal default settings that served a dominant narrative that harmed vulnerable communities?

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

I begin from two premises: 1. Trust the person’s experience, even when that experience is different or directly contradicts others in the same community. 2. Ask myself how my own experience, from gender to whiteness to where I grew up and where I am now, informs my understanding of the world.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

When you open yourself up to the possibility that most of what you think you know is at least in part fabricated in service of a system that actively works to oppress large populations, you start to slowly unravel the web of socially constructed and maintained narratives of harm.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

You see, perhaps for the first time, that almost from birth, our worldview is shaped by forces that have little to nothing to do with the reality of being human but are meant to oppress, legitimate an unnatural dominate discourse that is white, male, cisgender and heteronormative.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

This work takes time, can be overwhelming, raise your defenses and destabilize your own sense of self and personhood. But when you make the honest effort, you're rewarded with a clarity that is liberating.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

You have to dismantle your internal landscape, almost in its entirety, and understand the harmful, deliberate, systemic script that runs in the background of all our lives so you can effectively push against it. This digital resource my trans son and I created might help.

allyedcollective.com

LGBTQ2IA+ Ally Resources | The Ally Education Collective

Resources to help allies better understand the LGBTQ2IA+ community.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 18/05/2026

I need people to commit to doing the work necessary to truly see and support trans humans like my son. The work is more than *desire.* It's real, honest, vulnerable, and most of the time uncomfortable, work.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

As the parent of a trans 19-year-old, I've lived with my heart in my throat for a long time. Grief and anxiety are constant companions. Hospitals abandoning care for trans kids. Suicide rates climbing. Murder. Emboldened hatred and public, unchecked brutality. We need you to act. See us. Love us.

them.us

Slain Trans UW Student Identified as Juniper Blessing: “The Most Amazing Human Being”

The family of the 19-year-old atmospheric and climate science major released a statement on Thursday.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 04/04/2025

This made me howl because I started from a place of seriousness. 1. Like, yes, a plan, that's good. 2. You bet I have friends. Community is important in these times. 3. Sure, I probably have 10 friends. Oh, wait ... 🤣

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 03/04/2025

Emailed my financial advisor today to ask if I should be rebalancing my 401K, noting the losses I've seen since January 2025 to now. Her response: "That isn't even reflecting the drop today." (And, she'll talk to me tomorrow about stuff). Christ, we are fucked.

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Reposted by MichelleV

Cory Booker @corybooker.com · 02/04/2025

I may be tired and a little hoarse, but as I said again and again on the Senate floor, this is a moment where we cannot afford to be silent, when we must speak up.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 01/04/2025

Thank you. I finally feel like constituents who feel like they've been screaming into a void have finally heard the slightest bit of a start that they're being heard. I've called all my reps repeatedly, frantically and have gotten next to nothing. You should all be doing this.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

My neighbor wasn't arrested and I'm not suggesting anything I or others did would stop an arrest if it had happened. But showing agents they are being watched, recorded, that their actions are being documented, helps, I believe. And our neighbor knew, too, people cared. That we'd be tracking.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

Neighbors immediately recording, taking license plate numbers, detailed descriptions of the agents, talking to the person who did come out on their stoop about rights. If the person had been more aggressively stopped, would have asked if they had someone they wanted me to contact, lawyer, family.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

This was different than a government disappearing people for speaking out/protest, as is happening now. Our neighborhood is papered with Know Your Rights info. Light posts, in businesses, etc. So, the family knew they didn't have to talk, answer their door.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

Took ICE watch training earlier this year as my neighborhood has a big immigrant population. The NEXT DAY, they came for a neighbor. I knew what to do because of that training. Document, report. Contact neighbors in our Signal group. Everyone should train up. Community response works.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 27/03/2025

You could know for sure if you heard the call. They actually sound very much like a cat!

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

Whoops! I see you already got that answer. I agree with, though, which isn't worth much as I'm not an ornithologist, just an amateur birder.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

The bird on the right is a catbird.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

Crossy paws Ginger and I missed you!

Red cattle dog laying in a gray bed with her head slightly turned and front paws crossed.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

The interview my trans son and I did with @kschorsch.bsky.social of @wbez.org hit @npr.org's Facebook today. What's always clear from the comments is that people who criticize this care know very little about how it happens, especially with trans kids. I need people to learn. You can start here:

npr.org

What happens when a Chicago hospital bows to federal pressure on trans care for teens

Patients and parents speak out after Lurie Children's in Chicago joined other hospitals in stopping gender-affirming surgeries. President Trump's executive order threatened their federal funding.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

This is rich coming from you. Maybe while you're at the gym you can give them a stern talking. That's how politics works for you, right?

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

RETIRE. While you’re still there though: Why aren’t you calling for Hegseth to be fired, immediately? Instead, we get Captain Obvious takes about immigration and the Dept. of Ed.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

I’m a Chicagoan, engaged advocate and voter, and mother of a trans son who is a newly minted voter himself. I’ve been BEGGING for this energy. Let’s GO!

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

I had a mango gin and tonic for the first time last night and was delicious!

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

You are such a fucking disgrace. Can’t wait for someone to primary you. This is not a proud moment dumbass.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

You are so out of touch with the American people. Get bent, dumbass. I hope someone primaries the shit out of you and you don’t have a peaceful day until you die.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

Fuck off you spineless piece of shit.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 15/03/2025

You are a spineless sack of shit Senator. You haven’t done SHIT to muck up the fascism gears Trump threw into overdrive, so spare us all (and I am a constituent of yours!) this BS. You’ve lost what little credibility you had left, and I will never vote for you again. RETIRE you useless wank.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

What's disappointing is you couldn't find your spine. Your constituents are SCREAMING at you to do the right thing and you act like some asshole dad who knows better than we do. We're living this nightmare in ways you can't possibly imagine. We voted for you to do OUR will. Fuck off with this shit.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

Go to hell, Durbin. You'll never live this shit down, so I hope burning your legacy was worth it. And, I hope you're retiring, because you'll NEVER see another vote from me again. Nor my newly-minted, organized 18-year voter. We, and many in his generation, are DONE with this shit leadership.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

I made it two! So, who's going to make it 1 to go?

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

Lift these voices up for all to hear. ❤️🏳️‍⚧️ In some of the interviews I've recently done alongside my 18-year-old trans son around gender-affirming health care, the shift in reporters interested in highlighting trans voices is refreshing. Read this. Then read it again. Then get in the fight.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

What an absolute asshole you are. I hope they primary the shit out of you in PA and you never see another quiet day.

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MichelleV @michellevallet.bsky.social · 14/03/2025

My guess is you're retiring and think this vote won't mean anything. But Senator, here's what's going to happen: Any legacy you though you might have built over these years is GONE. Selling out your constituents is what you'll be known for. I hope you never have a quiet day in this state.

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