iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

On Tuesdays, I share a prompt and you’ll text the prompt + YOUR answer to your kid. Simple, positive, small talk that might just lead to a bigger chat. 📲 Not sure how to get started? See the slide for an introduction example and meet back here next Tuesday to continue the fun.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 19/08/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 12/08/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 08/08/2025

A conversation is different from a lecture, and requires willing participation to make it work. Here are a few tips to increase the likelihood of success with your tween: • Don’t catch your child off guard • Be curious not suspicious • Multitask while you talk • End it before you’re ready

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 06/08/2025

Enjoy life outside of your kids. When tweens see you happy and fulfilled, they feel less pressure and more freedom to open up. Create a safe, judgment-free space at home, and communication can thrive through the middle school years.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 05/08/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 13/06/2025

If kids can’t safely express themselves through décor, clothes, or hobbies, they’ll find private ways to do it—often behind your back, which isn’t safe. Start allowing individualism early to avoid conflict later.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

Tweens often open up when you seem least interested—busy with email or a show—because it’s emotionally safer. If you seem too eager, they may pull back. Let them choose the moment to talk.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 11/06/2025

FOMO hits hard in adolescence—tweens often feel one missed text could hurt their social standing. Acknowledge their need for connection, and they’ll be more open when you set boundaries.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 10/06/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 07/06/2025

There are more important things but…Door Dash should not ring the doorbell. I know the food is coming. My app tells me it’s here. The ding dong is unnaturally jarring! Why?

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 05/06/2025

Some kids seem drawn to danger—but you can’t keep them in a bubble. Instead, teach them to pause before risky choices and minimize harm when they don’t. Chapter 7 of “8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success” dives into how to parent these thrill-seekers.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 03/06/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 02/06/2025

Adolescent friendship is messy. Your job isn’t to clean up the mess. Your job is to model what a good friend does: listen, give advice (ONLY if wanted), distract, and provide comfort.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

When your child’s friendship ends, treat it like a breakup: be a kind distraction, avoid trash-talking the ex (they might reconcile), and listen more than you speak.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 21/05/2025

Tweens need chances to practice independence to grow and stay safe. Instead of clamping down, talk about how to wisely expand their world. This summer, review the chapter, “Talking About Independence” in Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen, and plan together what that might look like for your family.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 20/05/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 14/05/2025

Kids who talk openly with caring adults are more resilient and successful. My book, Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen helps parents connect—especially when kids start to pull away.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 13/05/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

If your teen acts distant in public, don’t take it personally—it’s a sign of growing independence, and as hard as it is, that’s exactly what you want.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 09/05/2025

Letting kids fail is hard—but essential. 8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success helps parents guide kids to grow through common struggles instead of getting stuck in them.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 06/05/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 29/04/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 23/04/2025

When tweens feel overwhelmed, they often want help but can’t say how or why. Create a “Try This First” list together when they’re calm. It offers support and builds their confidence to handle hard emotions, helping them feel less helpless in tough moments.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 22/04/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 18/04/2025

Tweens need chances to practice independence. Overprotecting them shrinks their world and stunts growth. Talking about safe, age-appropriate freedom helps kids build maturity—and keeps them safer in the long run.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 09/04/2025

Three simple ways to support a parent through a child’s setback: 💡 invite them for a no-questions walk, 💡 help with a chore like meals or errands, and 💡 be a trusted vault for anything they share.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 08/04/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 05/04/2025

Middle school friendships shift—some end, some begin, and others come and go. Remind your tween that ups and downs are normal, and every experience helps them learn what makes a good friend. Their job? Stay open to new people and possibilities.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 28/03/2025

Ask your tween: “What three traits do you want people to think of when they think of you?” (Avoiding adjectives that describe what they can do, focus descriptors on who they are.) These deeper values can guide them through tough moments in adolescence and help them stay true to who they want to be.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

Middle schoolers, especially girls, may dress in ways that feel provocative. It’s key to affirm their right to self-expression while also helping them think through and prepare for the attention their choices might bring.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 25/03/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 24/03/2025

Tweens need at least 9 hours of sleep at night. You can’t make a person sleep when you want them to. The best you can do is create the most conducive environment for sleep and educate them about why sleep matters. Ideas to help: a cool room, linen spray, a good book, and a weighted blanket.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 21/03/2025

Many parents misunderstand normal tween growth. Middle schoolers often gain 40–60 lbs—it’s healthy and expected. If your child puts on weight, don’t panic. The best move? Bite your tongue.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 19/03/2025

If your kid’s self-esteem seems affected by a friend’s behavior, explore their feelings with neutral questions. Avoid criticizing the friend —it may shut down the conversation. Instead, focus on your child, their emotions, and their interests. Ask questions that help them reflect on how they feel.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 17/03/2025

A child’s self-doubt can lead to growth when parents frame it as a learning opportunity, not a flaw. If your teen struggles with confidence, take comfort—they’re likely developing into a thoughtful, empathetic person who will one day be a great mentor and role model.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 12/03/2025

As kids enter middle school, resist banning friends you don’t like, as it can make them more appealing. Instead, focus on teaching self-respect. Review chapter 14 from Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen, and start open conversations with your tween about dating behavior and physical affection.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

When your child makes a big mistake, balance your shock or anger with love. After considering the situation, apply firm consequences at home, without exceptions. Make sure your child knows they are loved, valued, and supported through words, affection, quality time, or even their favorite meals.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 07/03/2025

Who your kid is friends with is their choice, not yours. You can put restrictions on what places your kid is allowed to go and what things they are allowed to do, but not who they can speak with and especially not who they find interesting.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 05/03/2025

Adolescents struggle with emotions due to brain restructuring, which shifts focus from the prefrontal cortex to the amygdala. This, combined with inexperience, makes emotional regulation tough. However, the emotional turmoil results in helping them learn which coping mechanisms work over time.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

Every Tuesday, I share a prompt and you’ll text the prompt + YOUR answer to your kid. Simple, positive, small talk that might just lead to a bigger chat. 📲 Not sure how to get started? See the slide for an introduction example and meet back here next Tuesday to continue the fun. 🐐🐐🐐

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 03/03/2025

As a parent, your job is not to make things easy. Your job is to make sure your child has ample opportunity to experience enough challenges so that they learn how to be successful despite setbacks. It’s hard. It’s also really important.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 26/02/2025

Don't catastrophize setbacks—kids need chances to learn and grow. My book, 8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success, helps you find the lessons in failure, recognize potential, and turn struggles into stepping stones for growth. Learn how to support resilience and transformation.

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 25/02/2025

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 24/02/2025

You can’t spare your kid from the pain of adolescence. You CAN: -Listen without trying to fix -Ask questions to help them develop their own thoughts about the situation -Give them space for their feelings, then encourage them to do something for themself -Refrain from getting emotionally involved

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Michelle Icard @michelleicard.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Consent isn't just about sexual contact. It's about the right to decide who touches you and when -establishing healthy boundaries. Talk early about consent, starting with nonsexual situations. This helps develop comfort and proficiency with the concept, positioning them for safer encounters later.

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