iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 18/09/2026

Is Skynet's level of obsequiousness merely off-putting, or grounds for suspicion? I was tempted to point it out, but we would have been here all night. 😬

Responding to a query about "idioms or slang terms for food and drink names that include body parts", Google's AI proposes "a stiff drink", and seems to connect it to rigor mortis. I suggest that's "a Procrustean level" of stretch.

Google is downright obsequious in accepting the correction, accusing itself of "massive overreach" and thanking me for "calling that out gently" and saving "us" (sic) from "a total etymological stretch!"

I'm not sure if it was trying to riff on the Procrustes joke.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 03/08/2026

Actually, Google, I don’t need to arrive quite that early. And I think maybe Lyft is trying to gouge me.

Google Maps offers a tortuous route through an out-of-the-way city to get me to my destination three years ago.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 20/06/2026

Oops! Forgot this one between The Grifters and Some Like It Hot.

Top and middle left: A noose made of celluloid film dangles in front of distant searchlights of the type used to publicize film premieres.

Top and middle right – Deco style text:
EVERYTHING YOU'VE HEARD IS TRUE!
TIM ROBBINS
GRETA SCACCHI
FRED WARD
WHOOPI GOLDBERG
PETER GALLAGHER
BRION JAMES
A ROBERT ALTMAN FILM
The Player

Bottom: a reductively stylized Los Angeles and California coast, above further credits

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 20/06/2026

Your last saved image is your current mental state.

Around a picture of a bunch of overwhelmingly if not exclusively white evangelical preachers, laying hands on Donald Trump and on each other, the text:
SORRY, WHITE EVANGELICALS,
GOD DID NOT SEND TRUMP TO SAVE YOU.
HE SENT HIM TO TEST YOU - AND YOU FAILED.
THIS IS OUR COUNTRY
NOT YOUR CHURCH
The final phrase is divided by an abstractly stylized American flag.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 23/12/2025

Bonus from today’s panic attack at the food pantry (a.k.a. food bank): a darkly comic memento mori.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 24/09/2025

@Apple: No. Just no. An average blood glucose level is not a blood glucose range. We need both. Fix this. #AppleHealth

A chart from Apple Health gives the “Daily Average” of blood glucose as a range of 39 mg/dL.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 27/07/2025

Tom Lehrer, who just died at age 97, outlived his New York Times obituary writer.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 27/05/2025

Cornered into having to catch a 6:30 bus, I am reminded how much I love being out and about at this hour of a spring morning. The problem is, the prerequisites kill me.

early morning sunlight streaming through trees

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 04/05/2025

Show me a picture on your phone that has your energy that isn’t a selfie.

A small, finely detailed bronze sculpture in Center Memorial Park in Manchester, Connecticut:
Two bears stand in a half embrace. From their relative stature and the expressions on their faces, they seem to be a parent comforting a distraught youngling.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 03/05/2025

Yesterday my primary care provider discontinued my ezetimibe, based on apparent sufficiency of dietary management of blood lipids. Hx below. Also received 3-month confirmation of my endocrinologist's assessment of type 2 diabetes remission after tapering and discontinuing metformin in January 2025.

Lipid panel values (cholesterol, triglycerides) dating back to January 2015, trending from dangerous to solidly within reference/target range. Details in post texts.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 13/02/2025

quote with you looking fancy return to Hartford Gay Men’s Chorus, December 2023—was sick this year and missed performance, so no update to more conventional haircut

close up of me in a tux with a wing-tip collar and a red bow tie, wearing purple femme glasses and a focused/prim expression, sporting an artfully disheveled mop of (in this lighting) gray-blond hair, atop close-trimmed sides, in a style a friend called post-punk; behind me, a backstage dressing room

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 13/01/2025

I’ve called out Pappy’s because there’s a friends connection with the former owners, and an older family history with another business at the site.

A map of St. Joseph, Missouri, with its breaded tenderloin sandwich venues highlighted, and a callout for Pappy’s Grill and Pub.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 28/12/2024

MENORAH
© Lillian S. Robinson

You’ve got to be on the side of the Maccabees:
Isn’t that what it means to be Jewish—
Even if the Maccabees aren’t the Jews
Anymore? Your son, says the Israeli-
imports salesman (though it’s just a Menorah
I’m buying, not some high-tech arsenal)
Your son doesn’t have your memories. (Ghetto
accent flicks this poem at me across
a counter he’s covering with newsprint
to protect the glass from candelabrum-
scratches.) My son has never hear Amen
at the end of rote blessings and imagined
it was “our men” (their victory and safe
return) we prayed for. He didn’t grow up in that overheated apartment, orange
bank of candles reflecting in a window
streaked with child-breath. That’s a San Francisco
pagoda rising, incongruous,
across the boulevard. He’s never watched the lengthening of rust and icicle
on a back-neighbor’s fire escape for signs
of the slow passage of seasons. Surely
He that keepeth Israel shall neither
slumber nor sleep. The Divine Insomniac works
overtime, in fact, preparing Chanukah-gold
for His elect: the cluster bombs unfrozen
(as thick branches, after an ice-storm open
up a rigid, lethal flower, cold petal
by petal) and the Palestinians’
new departure is called an exodus.
I buy my son a bathrobe at Sears,

[continued next image]

[continued from previous image]

Blue with red lapels. I wonder what’s become
Of the deep-orange Chanukah candles
Of my childhood, supplanted since, it seems,
by this swift-burnt Israeli rainbow.
Learn from this: the ghetto was not eternal
as a place of refuge or confinement.
All of us are in the diaspora now,
Though only some of us know it. (If I forget
That, O Jerusalem, let my tongue cleave
To the roof of my mouth and my right hand
Leave off letters.) I would want my son to bear
An inheritance of righteousness, but not
By pretending to be the Maccabees again.
Behind the illuminated Peace Pagoda
Outside my window, a string of colored
Christmas bulbs. Within, I tell the story:
brave guerilla-struggle against elephant-
mounted invaders. I do not say a prayer.
I light a candle; I curse the darkness
anyway.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 23/12/2024

Idk, if I worked at Apple and were charged with writing in a very limited space about sugar‘s relation to human health, I might not choose to devote a full sentence and 18% of the available text space to “Sugar cane was first cultivated in New Guinea about 10,000 years ago.”

Screenshot from Apple health: Under a monthly consumption graph and the heading “About Dietary Sugar”, a rather bland and generic discussion of sugar and its role in the human body is followed by the sentence quoted.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 20/12/2024

Small grace number one: bus ride number three.

Photo, POV: the backseat of an empty bus.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 12/12/2024

Yes, I am amused that this is what in my context counts as a neutral day.

A pale, faintly glowing blue-white disc sits under the heading DAILY MOOD, and over a list of the components of that mood:
Amused, Annoyed, Ashamed, Disappointed, Discouraged,
Drained, Embarrassed,
Frustrated, Guilty, Indifferent, Irritated, Lonely, Overwhelmed, Relieved, Scared, Stressed,
Worried.
The amusement comes from recognizing that the remaining elements add up to the overall rating of (returning to the text):
A Neutral Day.
I identified the factors in generating those feelings as Tasks, Work, Friends, Self-Care,
Health, Community.
Also amusingly, under the heading MOMENTARY EMOTIONS it reads:
No Entries

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 02/12/2024

Was all set to applaud this folksy rendition of Christmas traditions for its inclusiveness—then I read the 4th set of panels. Whoever vets these things for display in one of my hometown's most delightful parks was either asleep at the switch or in cahoots with someone grinding a very peculiar ax.

An accordion arrangement of (apparently) 13 8-foot by 4-foot sheets of hand-painted and hand-lettered plywood depicts, according to the title panel, CHRISTMAS IN MANY LANDS.

The fourth set of paired panels depicts a Santa Claus dressed in a US-flag-based costume, white stars on blue above the waist and flowing red and white stripes below. Text reads as follows:
U.S.A.
CIVIL WAR
As war raged in the 1860s, Santa was as popular in the North as Gen. Grant and as popular in the South as Gen. Lee.
One can only speculate if the South would have won if Santa had worn the Rebel gray.

The remaining 5 pairs of panels are transcribed for context. Each features an approximately life-size portrait and descriptive text. The last two panel pairs are devoted to St. Nicholas.

BABOUSKA
RUSSIA
Babouska fed and sheltered the Three Wise Men but was too busy to join them in seeking the Christ Child. Since then, she searches for him in every house she visits, leaving sweets and small gifts behind.

ST LUCIA
SWEDEN
St Lucia, Lady of Light, brought food to Sweden during a famine. She wore a wreath of candles to light her way.
Each year, Lucia returns with her basket of gifts to share with those she encounters.

HOTEIOFHO
JAPAN
Hoteiofho, the gift bearer in Japan, travels around looking for good children. He has eyes in the back of his head so he can tell if they behave after he passes. If you are good you get a gift.

ST. NICHOLAS
EUROPE
Usually, his beard had been pictured as dark. It did not change to white until 1300 AD. He was visualized as a presence with a long white beard, riding a horse in the sky. The ability to fly took hold and remains today.
MEDIEVAL
ASIA MINOR
Surviving a shipwreck, Nicholas gave thanks to God for his safety and was rewarded by being made Bishop of Myra (Turkey). He was a kind and caring Bishop who helped the needy and sick. Many tales are told of his good deeds.

Photo cropped for legibility from the original by John Bachman, via Facebook.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 29/11/2024

There is a whole turkey still (by design) in the freezer. This chicken breast and Thanksgiving fixin’s casserole will provide the basis for twelve meals.

A broiler drip pan full of packaged bread stuffing augmented with chopped chicken breast, onion, celery, broccoli, cauliflower, and apple, whole baby-form carrots, and turkey gravy.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 23/11/2024

Guinea pigging again. Yes, I am a hairy, wrinkly guy.

My naked left shoulder, sporting a black ovalish transmitter for a continuous glucose monitor, attached by a white adhesive patch. A Band-Aid underneath the transmitter covers the incision from insertion of the CGM sensor.
The mirror behind me back lights my back hair. More hair is visible on my chest.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 15/11/2024

I knew my grandfather designed this aluminum coin commemorating the arrival of air mail to my hometown. World War I deployment records suggest his trade as an engraver from age 17 got him classified as a machinist, and in turn assigned to an AEF unit that built and repaired fighter planes in France.

Aluminum coin with an Art Deco 1926 at its center, below a more conventionally lettered “May 12”.
Curving around the coin at the top: “Air Mail”; at the bottom: “St. Joseph, MO”.
In tiny letters at the edge: top, “Pollock and Creviston”, my grandfather’s brother’s jewelry business; bottom, the initials WGP for my grandfather, William Grover Pollock.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 11/11/2024

I have many questions, and I hesitate to contact them.

From this morning’s email, a German text translated by DeepL as:

We would like to ask you to send us photos of the mold in your bedroom. Preferably a photo of the whole wall and then close-ups of the mold. Thank you very much.
Please do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 30/10/2024

The microwave in the room. There is an installation issue.

As described, the room being a kitchen and the microwave being half-unpacked on the floor, looking enormous.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 29/10/2024

Somehow in 2024, it seems less remarkable to me than it did in 1974 that two of my aunts were flappers.

A chart from 1924 illustrates a dozen “bobbed”—cropped/short, with most styles falling above the line of the chin, at around the line of the mouth—hair styles for women, under the heading
“If You Must Do It Show This to Your Barber”

left to right, top to bottom:
Shingle, or Ina Claire Bob
Boyish Bob
Marcel, or Water Waved Shingle

Horizontal Tapered Bob
French Side Part Bob
Horizontal Clubbed Bob

Flapper Bob
Permanently Waved Bob
Girlish Bob

French Center Part Bob
Dutch Cut
Center Part Bob

Courtesy of the American Hairdresser,
official organ of the
National Hairdressers' Association,
Copyright, 1924

via https://glamourdaze.com/2013/07/1920s-hairstyles-12-classic-bob-cuts.html

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 29/10/2024

This was my conceptual costume last year.

Close up of me, deadpan, in my half eccentrically organized, half chaotic room, wearing a name-badge style pin on a nondescript top, reading : what am I supposed to be?

Same set up. I am smiling in a manner that could be described as impish or manic. I have lifted up a panel of the name badge pin, which now reads: I was a gifted child. I was supposed to be a lot of things.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 12/10/2024

"I'd like to add you to my Professional Network on LinkedIn"

Captain Hook, with a seductive expression, his hand and hook at the throat of an apprehensive Wendy. Publicity still from the 2003 live-action Peter Pan.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 12/10/2024

At least get a proper fake fireplace so you can take the TV off the wall and let it stand on its own 1 foot at a more reasonable height.

Ad copy touting a “Farmhouse” Electric Fireplace TV Stand that “fits TVs up to 55 inches” and has sliding doors and adjustable shelves. “The fireplace can be used with or without heat.”

“Farmhouse“ seems to refer to the styling of the table-height box, which is painted white with cast-iron hardware, and features decorative detail that is probably meant to suggest that it’s structural.

I grew up in farm country, and this does not strike me as anything practical enough to be given room in a farmhouse. The sliding doors at either end, when slid, would cover the fake fireplace. Although sold as a TV “stand“, the pictured TV does not stand on it but hangs from the wall behind it.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 09/10/2024

What is persistent depression like? A week ago, for me, it was like this.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 04/10/2024

Your last saved meme is your moral philosophy

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 01/10/2024

Grocery delivery now maps the presence of the delivery car in our driveway, and apparently even its position, within feet (less than a meter).

Schematic map showing the shape of my house and its fronting street, and the presence of a delivery car in our driveway, with precision as described.
The map includes a button to a disclaimer from 🍏Maps Legal.
The screenshot is time stamped 13:13.
The vendor message by which I invoked the map is spelled out below:
Order on the way
Estimated arrival - 13:12
[Status progress bar:]
Placed
Preparing
On the way
Delivered
[response button] Contact driver

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 22/09/2024

The Big E is a multi-state fair for New England. I was not expecting a musical lineup of Chubby Checker, Lisa Loeb, Ludacris, and Public Enemy.

promotional copy from the Hartford Courant
Don't Miss
[picture of Ludacris in concert]
Who is playing at the 2024 Big E?
Here are some of the can't miss concerts
There are three key music stages at The Big E in Springfield, Massachusetts this year, with bands ranging from local Connecticut acts to legends like Chubby Checker, Public Enemy and Ludacris.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 21/09/2024

“Phone“ is now one of hundreds of apps on my pocket computer.

First of two screens showing the controls, features, bells, and whistles of my phone.
The only telephony-related item is a setting for cellular service as a connection type.

Second of two screens showing the controls, features, bells, and whistles of my phone.
None of the controls, features, bells, and whistles are phone-related. Phone settings now appear alphabetically under P, among hundreds of apps.

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Douglas Michael Massing @michaelmassing.com · 16/09/2024

Repost with your first crush. I should perhaps clarify that Kirk was 18, I was 10. I suppose one could count earlier fascination with boy actors as crushes, but this was the first that was…um…tingly.

Movie still: Tommy Kirk, staring offscreen into a mirror, transfixed by his initial transformation into the titular shaggy dog of the 1959 Disney release.

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