iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

grief, when not resisted, unfolds into its own flavour of bliss

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I like how it's possible to deeply enjoy the bittersweet nature of transient wonderful experiences rather than fighting the grief, I'm finding ways to actually enjoy it in real time alongside the pure enjoyment of the connection and early morning quiet

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I keep catching myself saying stuff like "I'm looking forward to when he <X>", but always immediately find myself correcting and pre-emptively grieving all the good things about this time right now he'll never be a tiny nugget like this again, and I'm enjoying him as he is

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 31/03/2025

early morning contact naps with a three week old might be one of the best things most mornings from around 5am I lie with him on the sofa while reading and it feels very precious and it feels great that I can give his mother another round of much deeper sleep for 2-3 hours

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update from life with a two week old I am tired, I have much less time for myself, but I am happy

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 04/03/2025

what's your desired outcome with this interaction?

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 03/03/2025

2025 is the year of telling your followers on bluesky that you're basically off twitter but posting more on substack

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 23/01/2025

the world I grew up in, the one that felt like home to me, is gone if I am to gift my son a world that feels like home to him, I must first grieve the loss of mine

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 13/01/2025

it has now been 9 hours and I am beginning to feel the shallows of sleep I should just quit caffeine completely

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 12/01/2025

I had a single espresso at 3pm thinking it wouldn’t affect my sleep and I am disheartened to report that this is not the case

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 30/11/2024

those were the days bsky.app/profile/mich...

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 30/11/2024

oh wow, well all in on bluesky I guess!

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Reposted by Michael Ashcroft

Paul Millerd @pmillerd.com · 29/11/2024

Put together a fun little black friday deal with some friends Help keep us unemployed: pathless.thrivecart.com/black-frida… @jmiller.bsky.social @michaelashcroft.com @visakanv.com

Put together a fun little black friday deal with some friends

Help keep us unemployed: https://pathless.thrivecart.com/black-friday-creator-offer/

@jmiller.bsky.social @michaelashcroft.com @visakanv.com

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 27/11/2024

I’m gonna tattoo “what would Paul do” on my wrist

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Michael Ashcroft @michaelashcroft.com · 27/11/2024

yeah it’s all public. granted maybe there’s some copyright at play but it’s not like we’re being directly plagiarised can’t see anything stopping this tbh

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standing all the time isn’t great either, but changing positions often is good so get one that goes up and down easily

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sorry this should say ghrita is ghee I’m clearly feeling the effects of it

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and then the herbs start releasing the various wastes held in the tissues, so you start feeling a crappy because of that but... there will be a purge at some point!

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Panchatikta Guggulu Ghrita: Benefits, Dose, Side Effects, Ingredients,

yes, the ghee I'm using is called Panchatikta Guggulu Ghrita Pancha meaning five Tikta meaning bitter Guggulu is a plant Ghrita is bitter I've had more bitter things, here even, but we're talking increasingly large quantities of warm salty bitter ghee... www.ayurmedinfo.com/2012/02/24/p...

ayurmedinfo.com

Panchatikta Guggulu Ghrita is an Ayurvedic medicine, in herbal ghee form.This has ghee as its base. It is used for skin diseases. Panchatikt

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yes there are five bitter herbs in there

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anyway this was mostly me venting to remind myself of all the things I know but struggle to act on (because I am often outgunned by this tactic) it takes energy, will and courage to stay with the discomfort, but for me it's always better long term bsky.app/profile/mich...

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so many of us are severely emotionally constipated, and phones are the ultra-processed food in our diets so many of us would benefit from having a very long overdue emotional bowel movement which, yes, might feel painful for a few moments but then it feels good! flow >>> stuck

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but now we have these literal magic screens in our pockets that can do it any time and seemingly without cost except that there is a cost, which is to be crystallised in a place where you feel a bit like shit for a long time rather than feeling terrible for a few minutes

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until EXTREMELY recently humans have not had the option to not be with the unpleasant feelings and the ways of avoiding the unpleasant feelings historically had much more severe costs, physically and socially

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bear in mind that on-demand infinite scroll technology has teamed up with the parts of you that don't want to feel bad the technology is exploiting these parts for attention and clicks, in exchange for getting you stuck and making you feel worse overall

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and all the while part of you knows it's doing this! and this spins up the self-shaming demon that questions why you're such a piece of shit who can't stop scrolling this itself is a really shitty loop to be in, it really sucks, feels terrible

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all the phone is doing is crystallising the uncomfortable feeling at a slightly lower intensity and making sure it doesn't leave then you put your phone down and the shitty emotion comes back stronger, so you pick up your phone again and it goes round and round

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yes it feels bad to interrupt that habit when you feel bad and not pick up the phone yes it can be incredibly difficult to do but, being honest... you can still kinda feel that shitty emotion right? it's still lingering there... and you know it's there...

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emotions need to flow, they need to move and transform, otherwise they get stuck what we've done is build an enormous system where people are being attention-hacked into suppressing the mechanisms that allow emotions to move through them

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people are worried about the risk of falling in love with AI, but that's just an extension of the same habit we've already entrained in ourselves feel bad -> suppress with technology often without even knowing that we've done it

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the extent to which I grab my phone when I start to feel something I don't like is astonishing, the space between stimulus and response is so small and I am someone who knows about that space and the importance of embracing the intensity of uncomfortable emotions

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I'm not particularly worried about people being one-shotted by the 6D mesoamerican demon when taking ayahuasca I'm much more worried about people already having been one-shotted by the 2D infinite scroll demon in their hands that lets them avoid feeling uncomfortable on demand

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okay, I'm going to spend the next five days subsisting largely on extremely bitter ghee wish me luck

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this is objectively true, turkey is one of the least interesting meats

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hey your name is spelled the way Americans say my name

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