iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Merrill Markoe

@merrillmarkoe.bsky.social

5.3K followers 324 following 555 posts

Writer of things intended to be humor and animal lover. I post A LOT of pieces on my Substack page:"Still Looking for the Joke" substack.com/@merrillmarkoe?utm_sou…

Posts Replies Media

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

My explanation for a lot of what is going on.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Our current president obviously is stuck in the early 1960s. I also think that instead of an emotional infrastructure, he has a stored folder of 60's sit com cliches. Therefore I have organized a lesson in 'sit com' using only his recent real headlines. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/sit-com-10...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Sit-Com 101: The Kennedy Center

How to Write A Classic Sit Com Ripped from Today’s Headlines

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Allow me to teach you how to contruct the beats of a classic sit com using only recent headlines merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/sit-com-10...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Sit-Com 101: The Kennedy Center

How to Write A Classic Sit Com Ripped from Today’s Headlines

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I have written a piece that is designed to help you weed out the lunatics in your life. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/how-to-spo...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

How to Spot a Lunatic, part ONE.

In the name of a happier life, you may need to weed your friend garden

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I have written a piece that is designed to help you weed out the lunatics in your life. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/how-to-spo...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

How to Spot a Lunatic, part ONE.

In the name of a happier life, you may need to weed your friend garden

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I keep reading that people are upset about gas prices being over $4.00. This is what it costs at all the stations remotely near where I live in L.A. (and has been this price for a LONG time)

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I offer this in the hopes that no one who attends the Emmy broadcast this or any other year will experience anything close to this dopey.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I always get a little nostalgic knowing that the Emmy awards are about to be broadcast (Sept 14) Allow me to take you on a journey back to 1983, as I tell you about the time I attended. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/my-award-s...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

MY AWARD SHOW STORY

And The Curse of “Everything is Under Control.”

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Just waiting for him to sign the order to change South America to North America.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I always get a little nostalgic knowing that the Emmy awards are about to be broadcast (Sept 14) Allow me to take you on a journey back to 1983, as I tell you about the time I attended. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/my-award-s...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

MY AWARD SHOW STORY

And The Curse of “Everything is Under Control.”

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

It's Labor Day and the start of Emmy Week.So come along with me now, back to 1983 as we relive the details of the first time I was nominated for an Emmy. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/my-award-s...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

MY AWARD SHOW STORY

And The Curse of “Everything is Under Control.”

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Gather round, children, and let me tell you the tale about how my coddled and catered-to dog Wally took on a coyote. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/wally-vs-t...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Wally VS. the Coyote.

A real life almost adventure story.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

Gather round, children, and let me tell you the tale about how my coddled and catered-to dog Wally took on a coyote. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/wally-vs-t...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Wally VS. the Coyote.

A real life almost adventure story.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

riffle @riffle.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

Dog videos done right. Funny prose too.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 20/08/2026

I decided to catalog the way I have been keeping track of my dogs for the last 30 years by starring them in crazy videos. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/a-life-ful...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

A Life Full of Dogs

Because I just moved through another birthday.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 09/08/2026

This is my FAVORITE piece of look-alike AI slop that keeps turning up on the home page of my search engine.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

Is strangulation the best way to solve a contentious argument? Well, actually there are other ways. Let's examine them.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Who better than I to offer advice on what couples need to understand in order to fight fairly. Answer: No one. No one better than I to offer this advice. And I have proof. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/important-...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Important Advice for Couples: Learn to Fight Fairly

Very important, as you might imagine.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 06/08/2026

Who better than I to offer advice on what couples need to understand in order to fight fairly. Answer: No one. No one better than I to offer this advice. And I have proof. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/important-...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Important Advice for Couples: Learn to Fight Fairly

Very important, as you might imagine.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

Just watched a documentary on Netflix about the late great opinion writer and journalist, Molly Ivins. She had a unique voice and style all her own. Here she is telling a very short story with a great punchline and a moral. youtu.be/WXToviObdoA?...

Molly Ivins: How we hurt ourselves when scared to death

YouTube video by Lulubluebelle

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 29/07/2026

Inside data on CInderella and The Prince, year three of their marriage. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/did-cinder...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Did Cinderella and The Prince Have a Good Marriage? Let's look in on YEAR THREE.

Another ANSWER from the Department of Unanswered Questions.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 28/07/2026

If you read this, you will either be glad you didnt meet me in my 20s or sorry. If you feel sorry, its good I dont know who you are

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

I had so many incredibly good ideas when I was 20. Weird how for some reason they don't seem all that great now.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 25/07/2026

I had so many incredibly good ideas when I was 20. Weird how for some reason they don't seem all that great now.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I made a list of some of the incredibly great ideas that I had when I was 20 that I can no longer recommend. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/great-idea...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Great ideas from my late teens and early 20's that I no longer recommend.

You may need a sedative to read these.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I made a list of some of the incredibly great ideas that I had when I was 20 that I can no longer recommend. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/great-idea...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Great ideas from my late teens and early 20's that I no longer recommend.

You may need a sedative to read these.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

I have a new contemporary movie rating system to add to The Bechdel Test. It involves labeling the film with the number of minutes you would watch it at home before deciding that you're done for today. Time to turn it off and head out to the gym.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Mark Hamill @markhamillofficial.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

Sending ICE Agents to intimidate voters at polling places, declaring martial law to try to delay or cancel the election, seizing ballots-As he gets more desperate, there's nothing he won't do to try to save his pathetic orange ass. ALL states should preemptively prepare to defend Democracy! 🇺🇸 ✊

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 18/07/2026

I know I am late but i am just trying to help.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

So sorry I am late with my reporting on all the summer Couture Weeks. I have no excuse. But at least I posted something before all the fall Fashion Weeks come spinning and ricocheting at us like a cyclone.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I have been derelict in my duties it's been a while since I offered a fashion report. Though its certainly not complete, here is my spring/summer WHO WORE IT BEST round up. You're welcome. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/who-wore-i...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

WHO WORE IT BEST?:SUMMER 2026

So many more fashion weeks. I missed most of them but here are a few.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

I have been derelict in my duties it's been a while since I offered a fashion report. Though its certainly not complete, here is my spring/summer WHO WORE IT BEST round up. You're welcome. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/who-wore-i...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

WHO WORE IT BEST?:SUMMER 2026

So many more fashion weeks. I missed most of them but here are a few.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

It's important to be careful with this stuff. So before I do as they suggest and 'make my friends day by forwarding", first I am checking to see which of my friends are into gun violence and ticks.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 14/07/2026

A bird flew into my house and left behind the diary he was keeping of his experiences. Amazing, right? What are the chances? And yet....https://merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/diary-of-the-bird-who-flew-in-to

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

Diary of the Bird Who Flew In To My House

A rare find. Not many bird diaries have been recovered.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

The more I think about this, the more I pat myself on the head for having a solid solution to an apparently intractable problem.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 09/07/2026

I nominate July 8 for a new Federal Holiday! Congratulations EJC!!!

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 07/07/2026

Maybe the solution to all this midterm elections brouhaha is to just make sexual assault a requirement for running for congress.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

I've just signed an executive order: All future documentaries about successful rock stars spiraling into drug addiction are hereby forbidden. Our civilization has hit its threshold and the cultural ecosystem in which we live is at a dangerous saturation point.Thank you for your attn to this matter.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

AI just revealed "The 5 men who drafted the Declaration of Independence were known as the "Committee of 5." :Thomas Jefferson of Va., John Adams of Mass., Benjamin Franklin of Penn., Roger Sherman of Conn., and Robert R. Livingston of New York." I hope Sherman and Livingston fired their PR people.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 05/07/2026

Now that the 4th of July business is behind us, time to focus on my idea, drawn from real life, of VACATION SAFETY. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/its-july-s...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

IT's JULY! So Let's Talk Vacation Safety.

Real life anecdotes from real life vacations of MEEEEE.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 04/07/2026

ANNUAL JULY 4th PEP TALK FOR DOGS open.substack.com/pub/merrillm...

open.substack.com

ANNUAL JULY 4th PEP TALK FOR DOGS

From one canine to the others

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 30/06/2026

Here, at last...the truth behind the dog manipulation play book. You're welcome. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/exposed-th...

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 29/06/2026

I discovered an alarming text, written to instruct dogs on the various manipulative techniques at their disposal for procuring snacks and walks. Prepare to be amazed. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/exposed-th...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

EXPOSED: The sneaky world of devious dog strategies.

HOW TO GET EVERYTHING EVERY SINGLE TIME, FOR DOGS ONLY..

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 26/06/2026

A few years ago I hired a decorator. Her memory lives on no matter what I do to try to erase it.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Aha. Anyone who understands anything about the surface of paint now understands why sheets of the paint are coming off the reflecting pool bottom. On May 26, after painting but before they refilled the pool, Trump drove in a huge motorcade down the whole length of the newly painted pool.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 24/06/2026

Once upon a time I decided it would be a good idea to hire a professional decorator. So I did. And here is the terrifying truth. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/the-baffli...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

The Baffling Ballad of Dora the Depressed Decorator

From the Department of MEMORABLE PEOPLE I SHALL NEVER FORGET.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

i actually wrote a Father's Day post. Yes me. And I can prove it. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/i-tried-to...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

I Tried to Write a Father's Day Post

And here it is.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 22/06/2026

Made a very special dinner tonight, as I do on all our national holidays.

Merrill Markoe @merrillmarkoe.bsky.social · 21/06/2026

i actually wrote a Father's Day post. Yes me. And I can prove it. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/i-tried-to...

merrillmarkoe.substack.com

I Tried to Write a Father's Day Post

And here it is.

Reposted by Merrill Markoe

Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen.bsky.social · 16/06/2026

Bob Odenkirk is a national treasure. Take 44 seconds and watch. www.youtube.com/watch?v=z0rB...