iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Annie Lennox used to help teach basic computing to the Nuns at a local convent. It actually went pretty well, and now Sisters are doing I.T. for themselves ...

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

What do you call it when tiny bugs get into your macaroni? Antypasto.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

What kind of shoes do burglars wear? Sneakers

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

A pony walks into a bar and whispers to the bartender "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender says "Why are you whispering?" The pony responds "I'm a little horse."

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Why do dogs float in water? Because they’re good buoys.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Why aren’t koalas actual bears? They don’t meet the koalafications.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Why was the ocean upset? It felt a little crabby.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 21/08/2026

Be careful not to buy too many art supplies. You could have an excess stencil crisis.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but it's more of a wrap.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

A clown held the door open for me the other day. ‪It was a nice jester.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

Where does a lizard go after it drops its tail? To the retail store

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

Why do ducks have feathers on their tails? To cover their butt quacks

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 17/07/2026

What do you call a funny chicken? A comedihen

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 10/07/2026

What keeps the ocean from leaking out? The seals.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 03/07/2026

I told my suitcases there would be no holiday this year. Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

Why is it spelled 'camouflage' and not

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 19/06/2026

Why did the woman feel so warm at her birthday party? People kept toasting her!

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 12/06/2026

Why didn’t the two algae ever have sex? Because they had a planktonic relationship

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

What do you call two birds that are stuck together? Velcrows.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 29/05/2026

What do you call a donkey with three legs? A wonkey

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 22/05/2026

Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? They dropped out of school.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 15/05/2026

I was walking in the jungle and saw a lizard standing on his hind legs telling jokes. I said to my guide ‘Now THAT’S a funny lizard!’ He said, ‘That’s not a lizard, that’s a stand-up chameleon!’

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 08/05/2026

A gymnast walks into a bar. He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 24/04/2026

What do you call a factory that sells average products? A satisfactory.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 17/04/2026

What are two octopuses that look the same called? Itenticle

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 10/04/2026

Me: I studied ulterior design. Her: Why? Me: I have my reasons.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

What do you call a pile of kittens? A meowntain.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 02/04/2026

Why did the Artemis mission go home? Because they saw the moon was full 😉

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 27/03/2026

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 20/03/2026

Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 13/03/2026

What do you call a donkey with three legs? A wonkey

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

Doctor told me my body has run out of magnesium. 0mg!

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

What do you call a detective who accidentally solves all his cases? Sheer Luck Holmes.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 20/02/2026

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? Re-Morse code

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

There are Pop-Tarts but no Mom-Tarts because of the pastryarchy.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 06/02/2026

Super excited about the amateur autopsy club I just joined. Tuesday is open mike night!

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 30/01/2026

A vulture is going through customs and the attendant asked if he has any baggage to check in. The vulture says, “No, just my carrion.”

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 23/01/2026

Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

I bought a Rolls-Royce but didn’t pay for a driver. All that money and nothing to chauffeur it.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 09/01/2026

For those of you who don’t know, a Freudian slip is when you say one thing and you mean your mother.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Apparently it's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you are not a dad. It’s a faux pa.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 12/12/2025

What kind of sandals do frogs wear? Open toad sandals.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

Okay okay…. Screw it. I know it’s early but, same as last year, same as every year! 😇🥳

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 05/12/2025

I like elephants. Everything else is irrelephant.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 28/11/2025

What kind of party do snails have? A shellebration

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 21/11/2025

I tried splicing the DNA of a cheetah with that of a crab, but things went sideways fast.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 14/11/2025

What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 07/11/2025

Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarves are not happy.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 31/10/2025

I used to have a job at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I took a couple of days off.

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Melissa Attree @melattree.bsky.social · 24/10/2025

A well executed theft without any fingerprints is a stainless steal.

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