mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 22hThere were admittedly some initial teething problems with early performances of the Hokey Cokey… #GirlsOwnCC 070
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 04/10/2026No one had expected that such violent heated chaotic acrimony & turmoil would ensue from just a simple game of charades… #GirlsOwnCC 161
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 04/10/2026“A quiet little get together, you said. Just a few friends & family. I don’t know how you can sleep through this, Marjorie. Thank goodness your battleaxe Great Aunt Maud didn’t turn up - Ouch”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 04/10/2026“BBC deny Strictly in crisis”… #GirlsOwnCC 060
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 04/10/2026“Our Party Conference is a chance for us to show that we are serious politicians for serious times”…:#GirlsOwnCC 080
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 27/09/2026Abigail was all too acutely aware that she was neglecting her many pastimes but, try as she might, she just found it too dashed difficult to tear herself away from the intoxicating vision of her glorious beauty that this oh so very fortunate mirror was capturing & reflecting. *sigh*… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Clarrie came up with a unique approach to art theft. She would steal her Ladyship’s highly valuable collection of paintings one little piece at a time… #GirlsOwnCC 050
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 13/09/2026“Whatever happened here, Clarrie?” “Beg pardon, your Ladyship, but as ah were doing me polishing, your little lapdog were nipping round me ankles & ah must have knocked your picture off t’wall but nowt important were harmed” “Thank goodness. Where is dear Tiddles now?” “Like ah said…” #GirlsOwnCC 031
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 13/09/2026“Would ye mind if I take one of your pretty pictures & send it off as a postcard to me family, like, your Ladyship? It’s only gathering dust on t‘wall. See, I’ve even bought a little stamp to put on it. I’ve been saving tuppence a week for it out of me wages”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026“Why on earth would you spend so much money on something so flimsy & impractical?” “I like this hat”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026“Tell me, how can your boat move without sails?” “You‘d be surprised just how far a large supply of beans can take you” ”So that’s why they call you Captain Windy”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026“Whatever shall I call my new boat? I know, I’ll let fate decide. I’ll name it after the first person I see. That‘s bound to bring me good luck - I say, you there, young lady. Pray tell me, what is your name?” ”Marie. Marie Celeste”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026“I never thought I would make it back safe from the Lost World. I would have returned sooner but it took me six long months to finally shake off those deadly pterodactyls - Ohhh”… #GirlsOwnCC 130
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026“Where’s the rest of your crew?” “Arrh, tis a sad story, lass. Halfway through t‘journey, we ran out of food & so - “ “But you only sail around the bay”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026“What happened to your sails?” “They've been sold”… #GirlsOwnCC 010
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 06/09/2026Despite all the bad luck & disappointments she had endured in her life, Maude always clung on to the hope that one day her ship would come in - but when it finally did, it turned out to be empty… #GirlsOwnCC 130
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 23/08/2026“I must say, Miss, he looks really comfortable sleeping on your lap” “He does, doesn’t he? I wonder who he is?“… #GirlsOwnCC 050
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 12/08/2026Muriel began to suspect that she had misunderstood the advice about how to look at the eclipse as she stared at the sun through her Cliff Richard calendar… #NewAlanBennettMonologues 000
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 22/06/2026“If I had a Hammock, I’d Hammock in the morning, I’d Hammock in the evening, all over this land”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 07/06/2026“What do you think of my magnificent creature, Lavinia?” “I am most impressed, Jasper. I’ve never seen a hairy caterpillar sit so perfectly still on someone’s top lip. What happens when it turns into a butterfly?”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 07/06/2026“Isn’t it just so terribly tediously frightfully awful when impudent excited youngsters do insist on invading the pitch during One’s Polo match, Lavinia?”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 31/05/2026“I fear that I must have unwisely consumed too much from the punch bowl at last night’s soiree. Did I do or say anything to cause upset?” “Let me put it this way, Dear. George has challenged you to a duel” “What !” “As has Arthur - Charles - Hamish - & the rest of the Infantry”… #GirlsOwnCC 060
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 31/05/2026“What do you mean you took £110 out of the funds to purchase a pencil sharpener? Why on earth would you do that - when you‘ve already spent so much money acquiring designer pens?”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 31/05/2026“Ladies - If your husband is dejected by the poor showing of his football team, you can simply console the downcast chap by gently reminding him that it won’t be long before the next season begins & that his side might start winning again then”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 24/05/2026‘For sale - an urchin child. Two shillings or nearest offer. One previous owner. Requires to be house trained. Answers to the name ‘Boy‘ or ‘You.’ Comes with own clothing provided - slightly soiled. Suitable for factory work, begging, domestic drudgery, thieving or chimney sweeping”… #GirlsOwnCC 060
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 17/05/2026“Now I do hope, young sir, that you know what all these squiggly lines mean” “Yes, Mr Morecambe”… #GirlsOwnCC 050
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 19/04/2026Maud began to suspect that Arthur had an ulterior motive when he offered to help her train for the relay team… #GirlsOwnCC 000
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 19/04/2026“As i was walking down the stair, I met a man who wasn’t there. He wasn’t there again today - I wish that man would go away”… #GirlsOwnCC 140
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 05/04/2026“My, my, what a beautiful bonnet, Muriel. So elegant & refined. Tell me, did it come from one of the finest boutiques in London?” “Nay, lass, ah won it off Big Bad Brenda Bagshot from Barnsley in a bare knuckle street fight. ‘Appen you can still see tiny specks of ‘er blood on it”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 29/03/2026What was the last thing I told you?” “- Don’t use the eraser” “But you simply didn’t listen, did you, Muriel? It’s fortunate for both of us & what’s left of the house that I stopped you when I did. The rest of the rooms & furniture - & the family - weren’t so lucky”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 22/03/2026As the Frobisher family faced hard times, Dulcie the maid nervously presented his Lordship with the new dinner menu from Cook, containing 3 options. Bread & water, Water & bread - or Cook’s Surprise. “What’s Cook’s Surprise?” “Oh, please, no, Sir, I wouldn’t choose that if I were you”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/03/2026“ARE YOU NOT SURPRISED TO SEE ME, DEAR?” “No, Great Aunt. I heard that you were on your way to visit” “REALLY ?” “Oh, Yes. From several hundred miles away”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/03/2026Great Aunt Petunia was in no mood to waste time on small talk. “We simply must discuss the elephant in the room” “No, no, dear Great Aunt, I must respectfully disagree. I think you’re being most unfair - on yourself. I would never describe you like that” “NEITHER WOULD I”… #GirlsOwnCC 120
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/03/2026“Oh, Arthur ! You & your jokes. If I didn’t know better, I‘d swear you‘re that daft old trout Great Aunt Petunia” “I AM GREAT AUNT PETUNIA, YOU STUPID GIRL !” “You’ve even got her strident voice off to a T. Isn’t he amazing, Maud? Why are you shaking your head, Dear? Oh, No” “OH, YES”… #GirlsOwnCC 020
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/03/2026“Don’t just stand there gawping, Evadne, come here & give your dear Great Aunt a good hug” “I would do, Auntie, but I’m not sure my arms are quite long enough”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/03/2026Agatha, the formidable reigning champion, accompanied by Maud her Second, enters the room to meet her challenger Millicent & begin this long awaited bout, a real grudge match for The Undisputed Genteel Ladies World Heavyweight Indoor Wrestling Championship… #GirlsOwnCC 041
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 08/03/2026Arthur came to regret his Wizard idea to save money on a Top Hat by buying one he saw in a Magic shop window. When he wore it out formally for the first time, on a date with Maud, he did it through gritted teeth - as the rabbit started chewing on his hair… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 01/03/2026Throughout Europe, there’s a exciting dangerois new sport that is growing in popularity with young & old alike - Harp Archery… #GirlsOwnCC 020
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 22/02/2026Maude tended to avoid social gatherings as she found it difficult to break the ice but this was one occasion where she took the plunge. Unfortunately she soon found herself out of her depth… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 22/02/2026The crowd of spectators expressed their disapproval at the Suffragette protestor sneaking on to the playing area & disrupting the final of the Curling… #GirlsOwnCC 130
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 22/02/2026“It’s not the first time that young Miss Sharp has skated on thin ice”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 17/02/2026Muriel‘s Uncle Arnold was a man of few words. In fact, she had only ever heard him saying five of them. Those being “Aye”, “Nay”, “Eh?”, “Oh” - & “Ko-ala”, t‘last of them would always reduce him to a terrible fit of t‘giggles… #NewAlanBennettMonologues 000
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/02/2026“What is is now, Clarrie?” “Begging your pardon, Sir, but I thought you should know that the Ottoman Empire has fallen” “Well, don’t just stand there, go & pick it up”… #GirlsOwnCC 150
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/02/2026“This is our dinner?” “Yes, Dear, fresh from the garden” “And what, pray tell, is for dessert?” “I’ve rustled up a couple of bowls of delicious Mud Pie”… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/02/2026“Can I get chips with that?”… #GirlsOwnCC 050
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/02/2026Arthur just couldn’t decide whether the maid was carrying a tray of flowers - or if she was just holding out her long arm at a strange angle… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 15/02/2026When Maude said that she was going to plant seeds in the garden so that they could grow their own food, this wasn’t quite what Arthur was expecting to see - or eat… #GirlsOwnCC 030
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 08/02/2026“Tell me, Agatha, is the spectre that you are haunted by in the room with us right now?” “Yes, yes she is” “And what is she doing?” “I think - she’s trying to - whisper something - in my left ear”… #GirlsOwnCC 150
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 08/02/2026“What can it mean, pray tell, the unearthly nocturnal vision of this young girl silently carrying a basket of kittens?” “i think you’ve being imbibing too much of the medicinal sherry, my dear, - or perhaps not enough”… #GirlsOwnCC 040
mccaffepj.bsky.social @mccaffepj.bsky.social · 08/02/2026The unnerving sight of this young girl appearing every night was enough to give Agatha kittens - which is just what she got… #GirlsOwnCC 030
