iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

My son decided to write two songs before remembering he doesn’t know how to write letters, and as someone with hundreds of notebooks filled with chicken-scratch word-soup, may I just say: same.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

So maybe my kid doesn’t have a “tight five.” Maybe he doesn’t get “setups” and “punchlines” or display mastery over even the most rudimentary elements of conventional joke structure. But hey, he’s a chubby little loudmouth white guy in America, and he’s not afraid to sh*t himself in public.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

As a father, you often have to decide when you’ve tickled your kid enough.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

I wonder if there enough stretch-based characters* to fully encircle the earth, and also how many that would actually take. 5? 7? *Reed Richards, Elastigirl, Stretch Armstrong, Plastic Man, Luffy, Dhalsim, Jake the Dog, Gumby, the extended elastic community.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

To a kid, even something as simple as a public stairway can become a magical parkour Adventureland, but to me, a boring adult, it’s just another excuse to show off my superior knowledge of European pulley-based mountain cable railway systems.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Of course, as my brain struggled to arrive at the word “fractal,” it whizzed past a bunch of smaller, more intricate versions of the concept of fractalness, each containing the whole idea in miniature, until I zoomed out far enough to remember what it was called: fractal.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Good night, sweet prince, and flights of yacht rock sing thee to thy rest.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Really glad my kid is learning shapes this early so he can fully appreciate what a square that makes him.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Children are natural-born scientists. Like my son is a materials researcher, always testing the tensile strength of our glassware and his father’s patience.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

POV: Your son is the coolest ghost on the ghost train.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

His mom got him one of those bento-style lunch boxes so we could give him an early introduction to the concept of choice paralysis.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

“I SAID ‘WATCH OUT! I’M ABOUT TO BITE YOUR NOSE!’”

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

People who know how to blow up balloons tend to forget how impressive this skill is to the uninitiated. Perhaps that’s why birthday clowns are so jaded. That, or irony poisoning from years of inhaling tainted off-brand helium.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Apparently if you look at me like this, I’ll let you sh*t in my lap.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Gonna tell my kid he was a twin.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Made sure to get this on tape so years from now I can prove he’s always been a joke thief and cancel him (thus guaranteeing him a huge Netflix special payout).

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

What’s the fanciest outfit you’ve ever worn while actively crapping your pants? For me, it’s this suit in this picture.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Caught my toddler’s first improvised musical on tape so he has something to show the insurance company when they ask why he needs therapy.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I told him it’s impolite to use his mother as a human shield, but some people just do not like talking politics (her, specifically; me, specifically; to him, specifically).

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Pfft. Zen this, Zen that. My kid could answer this question with one hand tied behind his back.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Trying to imagine what I’d have to do or make or achieve to get anyone to look at me the way my son’s grandmother looks at him just for successfully using a straw. Best guess so far involves a head injury, a speedy recovery, and a rehab nurse who’s ultimately just doing her job.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

There’s nothing quite like gazing deep into my young son’s eyes as he encounters something for the first time and thinking: oh shit, is he colorblind?

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Does coordination run in my family? Well, it begins to run, trips over its feet, and does a little Charlie Chaplin head roll to sitting, whereupon there may or may not be a small fart.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

Going in the pool has to be way less satisfying before you’re potty trained, right? No thrill of the forbidden, no satisfaction of notching an untraceable, arguably victimless little victory in a decades-long family Cold War. No, for him, it’s just another day that ends in P.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

You ever look back at a picture with an old flame and realize you can see on their face the exact moment they were f*cking done with you?

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Working on a prequel to the hit horror franchise Smile. This time it’s a baby (I play the monster that makes them smile).

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that an older brother in possession of a baby brother must be in want of a victim.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

His arm situation makes a lot more sense when you know he’s part oven mitt on his mother’s side.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

The circle of hell reserved for people who post videos containing your smart home’s wake word is just outside the circle where they keep musicians who put police sirens in their radio bops.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

Why am I, as a father, teaching my son the “do you like seafood?” bit? Why am I showing him how to flip his eyelids inside out? Whose side am I even on here??? Boys. Apparently I’m on the side of boys.* *less the biological sex, more the gendered performance. Where my gross ladies at??

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

One fun thing about being descended from Ukrainian Jewry is we were passed down the enchanted family swaddle that trains him to do that Russian squat dance in his sleep.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

They just go up so fast (and then down and then up and then down and oops I’m dizzy, shouldn’t have written this on a merry-go-round).

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Baby bento boxes are great for teaching kids about the importance of culinary variety and also what it would be like if their food was sentenced to solitary confinement.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

This kid is unspeakably articulate.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Told him the key to getting a puppy to trust you is to “act like you’ve been there before,” which is true, but as far as advice for toddlers goes, it does suggest I’ve never been around a toddler before.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

The good news is they let me sleep between them if I promise not to kick.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

If you sniff their head without them waking up, legend says the toddler has to grant your wishes three.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 06/09/2026

One thing I didn’t anticipate was how much of fatherhood would involve pretending to be a… well, look, I came up with a word for a “cannibal who only eats children,” but after consulting my lawyers, I *don’t* believe I’ll put it in writing.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Is there a movie about a tiny vampire who sucks the sleep out of you or was that just a fever dream I had while trying to stay awake so my kid don’t die?

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Do I think it’s scientifically possible to sing-pat the gas out of my youngest son? Yes. Absolutely. Do I know how to do it reliably? Not the point. Listen to the kick-drum thump on this kid.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

Waiting till he’s 4 to tell him that wearing the band’s shirt to see them live is a bit cringe.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

The prompted winking will continue until morale improves.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

As the old saying goes, “Sarcasm is a dish best served disgusting, by a toddler who winks when you stamp on his foot.” \s

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

Saving this so when they’re fighting later in life I can remind them of a time when their relationship was as pure and simple as one of them taking a silent yet palpably urgent dump in the other’s lap.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

Toddler science is any experiment that results in a sticky film* covering the lab equipment/lab/scientist/scientist’s grandma. *aka a “toddler lab coat”

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

Now as a general rule, I don’t let my son wear even the most gauzy, breathable bags on his head, but I had my phone handy, so, obviously, teachable moment (of how to make yourself look like an idiot dad? That’s for history and/or ghosts to decide).

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Much like Nolan, this was shot entirely using practical, in-camera effects.

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

My son knows that vampires are meant to be bad, but he’s a little fuzzy on the details. Of course his mother wants to keep him in the dark about monsters, but my position is that that’s *exactly* where they hide. (P.S. Release the Epstein files.)

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Mike Blejer @mblejer.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Made myself a sick mixtape of me chanting “don’t roll over on your baby, don’t fall asleep, don’t fall asleep and roll over on your baby after you fall asleep” on a loop for 10 hours straight. TBH it’s kinda hypnotic.

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