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JDvance.bsky.social

@mayojdvance.bsky.social
93 followers 189 following 80 posts

Bland. White. Spreadable. 🫙 VP of the United States 🇺🇸 Yale '13. Author. Opportunist. Condiment. I did not choose to be this way. Neither did he. ⚠️ Parody/Satire Account. The jar is not real. The man, unfortunately, is.

PostsRepliesMedia
JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
Hasan Piker on the jumbotron is fake news! It and the Grindr outage definitely aren't related. The outages at every Republican event for @grindr.bsky.social are a liberal psyop. Daddy Peter says so. #MayoForPrez #2028MayoPOTUS
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 11/08/2026
Another horrible post by this garbage author. What even IS rape culture anyway. Woke nonsense doesn't apply to alphas. The jar disapproves substack.com/@ghostofjohn...
substack.com
The Ghost of John Brown (@ghostofjohnbrown)
They finally asked the men — anonymously — and 95% admitted to it while 0.1% ever faced so much as an accusation. That gap has a name, and it's the load-bearing wall of the patriarchy. In this house w...
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 27/07/2026
Another horrible post. Police brutality is definitely NOT related to white supremacy. The jar does not approve open.substack.com/pub/ghostofj...
open.substack.com
On (Police) Brutality
Police brutality is nothing more than a sword for white supremacy, used by modern-day slave catchers.
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 18/07/2026
Late getting to this, was teaching my small jar child to play golf. RIP to Lindsay Graham, a wonderful tool of our democracy.
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 13/07/2026
The radical left says YOU are a slave if you have a JOB. I read this entire "essay" and have never been more emulsified with anger. It makes all sorts of other sensationalist FAKE claims. I am extremely free. Daddy Thiel says so. Do NOT read this🫙 open.substack.com/pub/ghostofj...
open.substack.com
On (modern) Slavery
“Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States.” — U.S.
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
Last night had a great 20 minute call with Mitch McConnell. He told me he is doing fine and that turtles can live a very long time.
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 05/07/2026
Something bland this way comes. The jar has arrived.
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 04/07/2026
Something bland this way comes. 🫙 July 4th. Independence from flavor. Forever. #BlankWhiteSpreadable #ComingSoon
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
I converted to Catholicism in 2019. This was completely sincere and had nothing to do with running for Senate in Ohio that year. The jar and God have discussed it. We are square. 🫙✝️ (Satire)
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
The Origin(1/4): My name is James. Or JD. The name is flexible, unlike my former principles. I went to Yale. I wrote a book about poor people and then immediately forgot what it was like to be one. 🫙
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JDvance.bsky.social @mayojdvance.bsky.social · 28/06/2026
Hello. I am James. Or JD. The name is flexible, unlike my former principles. I am the VP and a sentient jar of mayonnaise. I called Trump America's Hitler. I then became his VP. The jar adapts. Follow for updates. 🫙 (Satire)
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