Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 12/06/2025"If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and how I once made the Statue of Liberty disappear, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap…” 000
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 08/06/2025Hell / Frost 2025 (After Robert) Some say LA will end with fire Some say with ICE 000
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 18/05/2025I’d sooner vote for Biden’s prostate than Trump. One has cancer; the other is a cancer. 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 16/05/2025So few opportunities out there for end-career writers. 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 01/04/2025Our economy is thriving! And so are the schools! America’s surviving! April Fucking Fools. 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 11/03/2025mattschatz.substack.comIT'S ALL UP TO ESTHERPURIM POEMS by Matt Schatz 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 11/03/2025Two Other Dads Chatting At San Rafael Park When they Say crypto Away I tiptoe 000
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 08/03/2025My favorite show is on tonight. It’s about a group of people who have had their brains surgically divided between two spaces. It’s called “Love is Blind.” 030
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 27/02/2025Parenting on February 28 Economic blackout! Boycott the big box stores! The big box stores are vipers! Don’t you dare back out! Don’t deign to darken their doors! (Unless, of course, you need diapers). 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 27/02/2025Trip Advisory Somehow, somewhy, No one notices How many die At White Lotuses. 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 19/02/2025The Kennedy Center Cannot Hold Think about the oath you took When you raised your hand Anyone who’s banned a book Shouldn’t book a band 021
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 09/02/2025Multiple reality stars Run this great country of ours. The richest dickheads in the world Have their fascist flags unfurled. Heads in the sand, asses up high; This land is their land, and that is why— All our trusted vehicles of satire Sit on the shoulder, stuck with flat tire. 020
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 08/02/2025Diss Track or: A Short Message to Kanye West (Who I Used to Love) There was no TEC-9 on your dresser; Your mom was an English Professor! You’ve let so many down, and so often; Your mom rolls and rolls in her coffin. 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 07/02/2025Things fall apart; the Kennedy Center cannot hold… 011
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 01/02/2025Home It’s really OK to leave it behind; Let the elders doubt you. The new one that you’ve yet to find Won’t be the same without you. 000
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 24/01/2025It’s Fraternal Order of Police? I always thought they were identical. 010
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 12/12/2024“Yes, Sir, we do allow you to sing songs from Wicked at this particular theater, but this is a showing of The Brutalist.” 000
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 09/12/2024 My College Job at the Pharmacy, 1999 I would steal packs Of Marlboro lights From off of the racks When I would work nights I didn’t smoke But prices were hiked My friends were all broke I longed to be liked 020
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 01/12/2024“The Work of Art” Thank God for the big Broadway show Such a difficult art form to master They say if it don’t play in Peoria It may never sell out the Belasco If one element doesn’t quite go The whole thing can be a disaster But on the train back to Astoria They were glad it was just a fiasco 000
Matt Schatz @mattschatz.bsky.social · 27/11/2024Here’s a poem from my book Shoes Last Longer in LA. To all who celebrate. 021