iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

~175 lbs

@mattroarty.bsky.social

59 followers 218 following 80 posts

Artist, dog-lover, and avid reader.

Posts Replies Media

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 01/08/2026

Glad God was able to turn it around and settle down

Banner on the outside of a church that says “Celebrating 90 years of Gor’s faithfulness.” Wait uh lmao. God’s faithfulness. Lmao imagine. Gor. Gor’s faithfulness. Mfer named Gor would have no choice but to cheat on his wife. Not that he could with a name like that. “Gor where have you been” “Gor you degenerate loser” “Gor, me and the girls have been talking and I’ve changed the locks.” Gor goes to a bridge about to kill himself when an angel appears. “Don’t do it Gor!” The angel cries. Gor says he wishes he had never been born and the angel is silent. What, not going to show me what life would be like if I wasn’t around. “No, I don’t think that would help in your case” the angel says. “Cant we try something like uhhhh ‘I wish I’d never been Gor?’ Like ur name is Jeff now. Try that for a spin”

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 31/03/2026

Online headline “Fuck Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades” but I have changed Blades to Lehman Brothers. And sure, the font does not match!! And the sizing does not work great!!! I’m using iOS markup, I do not have the time or the patience to do anything more!! Look if you want a higher quality edit, then you pay for my Photoshop subscription. And good luck because Adobe bundles all that shit now and it’s all yearly licenses, so you’re on the hook until you die. Because if you buy me Photoshop you can’t just stop one year. That’s psycho shit. 👏 We 👏 have 👏 responsibilities 👏 to 👏 each 👏 other 👏

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 28/01/2026

My father-in-law is a reader. He is insanely gifted. We were in a bookstore together years ago and I asked him what it would cost to read Infinite Jest today. I will never forget his answer… “We can’t, we don’t know how to do it.”

r/davidfosterwallace post with the title “Infinite Jest Has Turned Thirty. Have We Forgotten How To Read It?” A more serious question than my glib post may give credit. I should not be casting stones; I myself have turned to Reddit to ask vulnerable questions, only to be scorned. Mocked. What’s the point of an r/breastfeeding subreddit if they won’t answer my questions about it. Technique must clearly matter! Yet they act like I’ve thrown a canister of tear gas into their bedrooms. Obviously, you would not milk like you would a cow. The udder is simply different from a nipple. But the answer cannot be “just use a pump” since that’s not what I’m asking. I want to know the best manual way to get the milk out. You cannot tell me “use a machine to create a vacuum” I mean come on!!!!!! Extend a little grace

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 26/01/2026

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 26/11/2025

Soup de la Nut

Wine bottle that says, in loose cursive, “Loup de la Nuit” but I’ve cleverly reread it as “Soup de la Nut.” Like it’s a bottle of cum! That’s exactly the sort of shit they might sell you abroad. Especially in Greece. You walk down the street and you see all kinds of tourist shops selling carved penises that say Greece or Eureka on them or whatever. They probably would not only drink cum soup but would actively seek it out. Now, would I try cum soup? Once, to be polite. Don’t want to be a bad guest. Then, a second time, to see what I thought of it without the pressure of Social Situation hovering over me. A third time to clarify that I did, in fact, find that cum soup had a certain subtle appeal that would be too easy to dismiss. Then, whenever I want it. Also what if zak de la rocha’s name was soup de la nut. Lol

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

I would hate to be Tongue Conquest right now

Screenshot of Voice-to-text voicemail push notification saying “This message is intended for Tongue Conquest” and saying there has been a complaint. Imagine giving head so bad that someone files a complaint against you. You’re out of your comfort zone, you’re trying something new, and suddenly you get a subpoena - hope ur ass is ready for court cuz you licked the bean all wrong! Shoulda just gone straight to penetration and get it over with in two pumps. Everyone is disappointed but you don’t have to explain that to a judge. This case would have chilling implications as precedence - sure, an easy win for the plaintiff now, but if you can sue someone just cuz they can’t munch bush right, how will anyone get better? It brings to mind the classic Supreme Court case in which they ruled that having a first-time lawyer was not a sufficient reason to bring an ineffective counsel claim under the sixth amendment since this would preclude all future lawyers from ever trying a case. But also maybe they should’ve allowed it and every first case is a “freebie.” “Freebie” is a technical term for when you fuck bad but you get to cum anyway 😔

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 05/11/2025

One must imagine Elio cozy

Absolutely demented YouTube playlist called “Sufjan Stevens Best Playlist with Cozy Fireplace & Snowfall” with a thumbnail from the last scene of Call Me By Your Name where Elio looks into the fireplace while Visions of Gideon plays. Way better song than Mystery of Love. Shoulda gotten the Oscar. Mystery of Love sounds like warmed over rejects from Carrie & Lowell. I guess Sufjan agrees, because he has disowned C&L and his direction after that album was way more into the glitchy and cryptic tone that Visions of Gideon hits. That’s right, I’m on the same page as my good personal friend Sufjan. Probably why I relate to his music so much. I’ve even driven to Chicago! Most of the fake fans can not say the same

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 06/10/2025

Birds, famous for looking up at things,

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 18/09/2025

Jimmy Kimmel, leftist vanguard seen here on subversive Marxist propaganda program, has finally been culled

100

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

[guy who has a hammer] looks like another job for a hammer

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

[drunk in Miami and trying to remember Dan Marino’s name]

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

When mom tells me it’s my turn to open one of my Christmas gifts from under the tree

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 21/07/2025

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 24/06/2025

60% sand and 40% clay and it’s called “clay”???? Clay lobby biggest threat to democracy and truth out there

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 31/05/2025

Powerup Comics has taken Mexico City by storm

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

ACLU’s expansion into assisted suicide services is not promising

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 28/04/2025

Fresh off a break-up, my boy Kenny has a plan - his next girl is going to be beautiful, but also rich and she’s going to laugh at all his jokes

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 22/02/2025

This is the face of a man who has been Condemned

000

~175 lbs @mattroarty.bsky.social · 14/02/2025

Phew! Glad to hear no rats will be harmed while I train my dog to kill every rat it sees

100