Sign in

Matthew Perren

@matthewperren.bsky.social
581 followers 374 following 6.6K posts

Ex-bookseller. Inexplicably, now works in IT. Owned by the stupidest dog and most preposterous cat alive. Lives in Scotland. Non-work profile of @matnav.co.uk

PostsRepliesMedia
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 6h
It’s a happy accident for him that he can cash in on his ugly character traits
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 6h
You only say something is “perfectly normal” when you absolutely know it is not.
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 8h
There’s a Brecht play about this. With songs by Kurt Weill
020
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 9h
Three mars bars and a maccies chocolate milkshake does it for me. I’m cutting edge. Living in the future.
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 12h
Nope
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 12h
The sooner we can get a universal agreement that killing people is wrong, the better There should be some sort of law or something.
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
AI wrote the document and no one checked the output like any other AI mark.
030
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
Someone had the idea and went, yeah! Gave the spec to a designer who went, yeah! Handed it to a manufacturer who went, yeah! Who showed it to a retailer who went, yeah! A stylist saw it and went, yeah! And then he’s shown it as a potential fit and went, YEAH! That’s a LOT of folk with no class
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
What disturbs me about this is that, at no point in the design process of the entire outfit, did anyone stop and say, “Wait. I think this might…just…look like shit.”
100
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
Both!
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
Oh very good!!! 👏👏👏
110
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
“These are not the droids you’re looking for”
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
Iggy. But for feet
110
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
There’s really no excuse for any of it. Put on a shirt Put on socks Put on a not-gold suit PUT ON VISIBLE SHOES
120
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
I like the colour of the backdrop
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
Oh dear god
230
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
Those are gonna steam up
070
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 19h
And they’re as shit at it as everything else they do
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
It’s not a real baby
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
I’m pretty sure, given a couple of hours and enough cheap cider, I could write an Allister Heath headline generator
040
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 08/10/2026
Artificial shop…
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
And bcc stands for blurry carbon copy
020
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Jesus Christ. In the 70s it was safer to get off the train at Finsbury Park and get the Piccadilly Line than risk Kings Cross
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
He’s just happy!
110
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
For a neep lantern a drill is the thing!
A neep lantern
040
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
“One can’t feel one’s legs”
0190
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Fixed it
The same photo from the OP but upside down
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
Is fantasy football where they are all naked or is that just me?
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
He can smile all he likes but I still hide behind the sofa when he comes on telly
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 07/10/2026
She should go back where she came from
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Remember when we had Slenderman as MD
110
Reposted by Matthew Perren
Steve Mullis @stevemullis.net · 05/10/2026
[car dealership waiting room] Me: [chanting] knobs, knobs- Other car buyers: knobs, KNOBS Car salesman: [pounding desk] KNOBS, KNOBS, KNOBS!
forbes.com
Knobs Returning To Some Automakers’ Vehicles, To The Relief Of Many
Auto companies are listening to the complaints of consumers, who want their knobs and buttons back.
21691861686
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Always
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
It was a memo from Brentford
110
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
This whole thing is a triumph of single-step-thinking. It’s a blight on current discourse. Tables have four legs. So do cows. Cows are therefore tables.
0110
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Archer was a cunt and that’s all that needs to be said.
110
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Andrew is 100% correct and it’s all the fault of whomever it was who invented Poetry Voice with its weird breathy emphasis and odd. pauses. in. weird. places.
010
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 06/10/2026
Jeffrey Archer is dead and we are eating fewer peas. It truly is end-of-times stuff.
020
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Oh…believed to have been created as a tomb. So that’s ok then.
050
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Wait WHAT?
100
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 05/10/2026
Should we accept bad things happening to Sam Altman?
030
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Gig tickets sell out is not a news story
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 04/10/2026
Good morning from the last person in Britain not performing their phone calls as outdoor theatre.
130
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
His relationship is so great that he needs to publish everything about his life on social media so strangers can validate him What an arse
051
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 03/10/2026
Can we just not please? Let’s use grown up words this time, eh?
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
I hate both of them. I hope they get married
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Walter Sickert’s painting “Ennui”
031
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Aaaaaahahahahaaaaa!!!
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
static.klipy.com
Funny Hospital Explanation from Airplane!
Alt: Funny Hospital Explanation from Airplane!
000
Matthew Perren @matthewperren.bsky.social · 02/10/2026
Oh. Sorry. “Fight the urge” I never fight that urge
000