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Matt Goldich

@mattgoldich.bsky.social
2.1K followers 214 following 934 posts

Stand-up Comedian. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. I hoped it would never come to this

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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Or as it’s known in Texas, Thursday
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
The next best thing to being fed through a tube!
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 01/10/2026
Careful out there, everybody.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
These Atlanta fans are wishing they were at a Caitlin Clark game right now
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
I truly don’t want to know what the surprise is
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
He gets custody of the dog and a 20-second head start.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Love that the Philly sports team with the best vibes right now is the one that hasn’t won a title since Reagan’s first term
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
If I was the Braves I would try to hit the ball with the barrel of the bat. That seems to be working. I’d avoid hitting the ball with the knob of the bat, that doesn’t seem to be a good strategy.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
That late hit on Hurts was the dirtiest play by a Ben Johnson team since the 100-meter dash at the 1988 Olympics
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Andy Dalton INT gets Red October off to a rough start
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Case Keenum vs. Andy Dalton. 2007 Texas Bowl rematch! en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2007_Te...
en.wikipedia.org
2007 Texas Bowl - Wikipedia
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
this is also how Trump renovated the Reflecting Pool
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Tonight!!
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Do we have anyone coming back from appendicitis
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
If you’re expecting a joke from me on this, sorry. I don’t use my professional platform for weather
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
“The Penix Mightier”
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
If you want something really spooky, try the fish sandwich
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
Xi: "Um... you have a good personality."
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
My theory is that Trump’s beef with Canada is because he never got to see the Royal Alexandra Theatre in Toronto’s star-studded 1972 production of Godspell
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Poor guy’s gonna go bawitdabankrupt
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Can’t wait to take my 10-year-old son to the George Lucas Museum in L.A. He is a HUGE American Graffiti fan
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Not Pinterest updating their terms of service at 8am. Not now. Not today
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
This news first reported by his agent, Tyson Bquarterback www.cbsnews.com/chicago/news...
cbsnews.com
Bears quarterback Tyson Bagent placed in NFL concussion protocol
Chicago Bears quarterback Tyson Bagent has been placed in the NFL concussion protocol, according to a person familiar with the situation, adding another wrinkle to the team's plans for Monday night's ...
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
WeGovernor
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
This Sunday Matt Goldich and Friends @ West Side Comedy Club with special guests! www.westsidecomedyclub.com/shows/matt-g...
westsidecomedyclub.com
Matt Goldich with Special guests Vannessa Jackson. Ismael Loutfi & Ryan Beck | West Side Comedy Club
Ryan Beck Ismael Loutfi Vannessa Jackson Matt Goldich Matt Goldich is a longtime writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. He has also performed stand-up multipl…
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
Still think this Paramount-Warner Brothers merger can be stopped if Ari Gold finds out about it before the end of Yom Kippur
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 21/09/2026
www.google.com/goto?url=CAE...
google.com
Norm Macdonald — Yippie Jerry Rubin
Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 20/09/2026
Yom Cooper
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 18/09/2026
Great Barrington tonight 8pm! mahaiwe.org/event/indigo...
mahaiwe.org
Indigo Comedy Night with Matt Goldich - Mahaiwe Performing Arts Center
Matt Goldich is a longtime writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. He has also performed stand-up multiple times on Late Night and has appeared in numerous sketches on the show as well.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
This starts tonight!
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 16/09/2026
Don’t tell my kids! Back at West Side Comedy Club in NYC Sunday 9/27 with special guests @alisonleiby.bsky.social Ismael Loutfi and Ryan Beck! Get your tickets at www.westsidecomedyclub.com/shows/matt-g...
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Reposted by Matt Goldich
Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Headlining in New England this week! Come see me do my new hour of stand-up and/or spread the word! All tickets at linktr.ee/mattgoldich
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
Headlining in New England this week! Come see me do my new hour of stand-up and/or spread the word! All tickets at linktr.ee/mattgoldich
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 13/09/2026
Saints lost because they pulled Fant from the game. Go for the octopus or lose!
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 11/09/2026
I don’t know if I’d call SoDo a “hip area.” Maybe if he’d suffered it in Ballard, or Belltown.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
Tonight is the 25th anniversary of the first time I saw Eating It at Luna Lounge. Curious if anyone has a lineup from that night.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 10/09/2026
For years the NFL has been trying to get us to watch Drew Lock on a Wednesday
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 07/09/2026
Uh-oh. This means World War 2 is just around the corner
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 05/09/2026
Me when I tell my kids “that’s enough screen time”
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 02/09/2026
Later this month!
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 31/08/2026
Had to explain to my 6-year-old daughter today that a good name for a sushi restaurant would not be “Sushi Dushi”
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 30/08/2026
Was listening to the Phillies-Angels game in my car last night and when the announcer said the name of Angels outfielder Jose Siri my phone activated Siri
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 29/08/2026
“You down with deep blue sea!” “Yeah, you know me!”
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 28/08/2026
The kids know taking away TV is an empty threat. They are aware it’s our only down time
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 27/08/2026
Damn. These things always happen in threes.
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 26/08/2026
It’s crazy how much human beings got done before the advent of smartphones. Back in the 70s, people would write Jolene and I Will Always Love You in a single day
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Reposted by Matt Goldich
tombreihan.bsky.social @tombreihan.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
The type of thing I hate to write.
stereogum.com
Dolly Parton Dead At 80
Dolly Parton, one of the greatest singers and songwriters in the history of American popular entertainment, has died. Parton’s family announced her passing in a video statement from her nephew Byran S...
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Matt Goldich @mattgoldich.bsky.social · 25/08/2026
RIP Dolly
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