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Matt Loar

@matt.loar.name

1.4K followers 1.2K following 2.4K posts

Attorney / software engineer at Loar Law. Former Microsoft / Amazon / [REDACTED] / CBRE / F5. He/him. Chicago-adjacent. Signal: signal.me/#eu/B19ogjK1ReqNnet150oQT…

Posts Replies Media

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 7h

Rigby has the right idea. 9 PM is time for bed.

My dog Rigby, staring wearily at the camera while lying on the couch, his paw dangling off of the edge.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 06/09/2026

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 04/09/2026

In Morton Grove. Apparently this was a higher priority than the sign telling you to pick up after your dog. (Still no e-unicycles, though)

A sign at a public park in Morton Grove, Illinois. It reads, "Parks are for the enjoyment of residents and guests. Unauthorized activity is prohibited on this property, including civil immigration enforcement."

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 26/08/2026

*slow clap*

Trade-in device assessed

Your trade-in devices' assessed value is less than the estimated value. Your device will be shipped back to you.

Google Pixel 10
$500.00 estimated value
applied instantly as trade-in credit

$500.00 assessed value
Your device's value matches the estimate. You'll keep the instant trade-in credit applied at checkout.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 06/08/2026

An elcor from Mass Effect with a speech bubble including the quoted post

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 06/08/2026

Maybe I just wasn't paying attention, but I don't recall ever hearing about the gas company handing out groceries before

A marketing email from Nicor Gas advertising their "Community Connection Resource Fair" with "FREE groceries and resources" at the Oakton Community Center in Skokie, 5–7 PM on August 20.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 02/08/2026

They put Jimothy in the Roku screensaver

The Roku screensaver. There appears to be a raccoon with a spinal condition on top of a chain-link fence.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 01/08/2026

Interesting casting choice where the Pope plays himself

Pope Leo holding a baseball bat

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 29/07/2026

Literally the dril tweet

The dril tweet "turning a big dial taht says "Racism" on it and constantly looking back at the audience for approval like a contestant on the price is right"

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 22/07/2026

My dog Rigby, looking up at me and wondering why I'm taking his picture instead of giving him a dog biscuit from the jar on the counter

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 20/07/2026

The man is a prophet

A page from "Dave Barry Slept Here" talking about the Hawley-Smoot Tariff.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 13/07/2026

Having a bad day at work (which isn't over) and the rest of the week doesn't look much better, but on the other hand,

I'm sitting on the couch. My dog Rigby is sleeping on the couch next to me, with one paw in my lap and his snout snuggled under my leg.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 11/07/2026

My dog Rigby lying on the floor

My dog Rigby is ready for his close-up

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 10/07/2026

Same, Google Maps reviewers Same

The Google Maps listing for the Bridgeview Courthouse, part of the Circuit Court of Cook County, Illinois. It has 2.4 stars in 209 reviews.

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 10/07/2026

And smoke a pipe while doing it

A traveling executive receives messages from his office electronic mail system by means of a hand-held computer and modem at a public telephone.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 07/07/2026

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH

An email from Clio, my law practice management software, that they're adding "AI features" and will be sharing my data with OpenAI

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 12/06/2026

Resolve this dispute the Chicago Way

Meigs Field in Chicago, just a few days after then-Mayor Daley settled its future by sending out city workers with bulldozers in the middle of the night

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 11/06/2026

Connection to ioi server lost mid-denouement. Typical

The "Disconnected" prompt over the climactic scene of 007: First Light

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 23/05/2026

"Are you using me to fish for likes on Bluesky again?"

My dog, looking at the camera while getting his belly rubs

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 20/05/2026

A diagram of the Volkshalle, an implausibly large structure that was to be the centerpiece of a rebuilt Berlin after a Nazi victory in WWII

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 12/05/2026

My dog Rigby looking in through the storm door

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 08/05/2026

"Are we The Baddies" screenshot from That Mitchell and Webb Look where David Mitchell is wearing an SS uniform with a Totenkopf on the cap

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 02/05/2026

Morpheus from The Matrix: "What if I told you the late 90's really were humanity's golden age"

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 22/04/2026

I have no idea what this is in response to. I haven't contacted Durbin's office in weeks. But I'm glad he's continuing to work with the Nazis to "pursue our shared goal of moving the country in the right direction." I hope you kick yourself in the balls on the way out the door, Dick.

An email with the subject "Message from Senator Richard J. Durbin."

"Dear Matt:

Thank you for contacting me to share your views. I always enjoy hearing from concerned citizens like you.

There are many difficult issues before Congress, and I am honored that the people of Illinois have given me the opportunity to continue representing their interests in our nation's capital. As we make these major decisions, I will make sure that the voices of Illinoisans are heard every step of the way.

I will continue to work with my colleagues on both sides of the aisle to pursue our shared goal of moving the country in the right direction. I will keep your thoughts in mind as I continue to do this important work on behalf of the people of Illinois.

Thank you again for contacting me. Please feel free to stay in touch."

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 14/04/2026

I should have been billing

pbump.com with "cyber" activated

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 14/04/2026

"What, are you still mad about me biting your face? That was yesterday, dude. Get over it and rub this belly."

My dog, lying in my lap, looking up at the camera

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 07/04/2026

What else?

A screenshot of a music playlist titled "Armageddon." It contains "It's the End of the World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)," "I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire (Single Version)," "99 Luftballons (Remastered 2024)," "War Pigs," "(Don't Fear) The Reaper," "The Night Chicago Died," "Scene from Swan Lake: Scene," "Clair de Lune," and "Ave Maria."

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 07/04/2026

Meanwhile at the Board of Peace

The Hall of Doom from Superman

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 04/04/2026

Wunderbar!

A result from the "German or Autistic" diagnostic. I got "German."

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 04/04/2026

Sean Connery as "Bond, James Bond" in Dr. No

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 02/04/2026

Any associate I hired would know to use an em dash, not an en dash, and not to put spaces around it.

An email with the subject line "Quick Question Matt – hiring soon?" that reads: "Hey Matt,

Small firms like yours (1–10 attorneys) face that moment: hire an associate for $100k+ to handle review/research, or...

...build private AI infrastructure that runs on your servers, does the repetitive work, and skips the hire entirely. One‑time $35k, owns everything.

Worth a short call to run your numbers?

Dylan"

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 30/03/2026

Why I'm canceling my monthly contribution to the Working Families Party

A screenshot of my email showing a message from the Working Families Party with a subject line that starts "Why we're endorsing Graham Platner, and ..."

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 26/03/2026

"You go work or whatever. I'm staying here."

My dog side-eyeing me from my bed

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 25/03/2026

Pupdate: we're going to spend all evening sprawled on the front lawn chewing a rawhide, apparently

My dog, lying on the lawn with his back legs spread in the most ridiculous manner, chewing on his rawhide

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 25/03/2026

"You were gone all afternoon. You owe me."

My dog giving me a stern look

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 14/03/2026

That's a good name. Not the name I learned for it, but a good name nevertheless.

A Guinness "Irish Pub Pack" suggesting mixing Guinness with Harp or Smithwick's to make a "Half & Half."

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 06/03/2026

Hitler with Albert Speer and Arno Breker in front of the Eiffel Tower, 1940.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 27/02/2026

Fondly remembering my childhood sandwiches

Oscar Mayer Braunschweiger liver sausage

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 24/02/2026

Thinking Chicago Catholic thoughts

Pope Leo when he was just a priest, dressed like a Blues Brother

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 23/02/2026

That fucking dog

My new personal library property stamp, which just came FRIDAY, destroyed by my dog's jaws.

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 05/02/2026

Screen grab from "Archer" that says, "Well, we're calling them 'involuntary laborers.'"

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 05/02/2026

The Transportation guy from SimCity saying, "YOU CAN'T CUT BACK ON FUNDING! YOU WILL REGRET THIS!"

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 04/02/2026

UGGGGGGGGHHHHHH

A photo of a newspaper article. It reads:
"The accounts won't be open for contributions until July 2026, but parents of eligible kids can sign up using Form 4547 from the Internal Revenue Service. Registering for a Trump Account is required for a child to receive the money. In May, parents who sign up will get information about how to finish opening the accounts."

"Form 4547" is highlighted. (Donald Trump is the 45th and 47th President of the United States.)

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 03/02/2026

Where's Agent 47 when you need him?

Hitman's Agent 47 wearing the Ark Member disguise in the Isle of Sgail mission, where he eliminates leaders of the secretive Ark Society

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 31/01/2026

Whoop, yet another reason to close my Chase card

Email with subject "Upcoming changes to your alerts." "We're writing to let you know that we're retiring alerts you're signed up for. You'll no longer receive either of these alerts for any of your credit card accounts starting February 17, 2026:
* International charge posted
* Online, phone or mail charge authorized"

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 28/01/2026

Kudos to whomever coded that to also be treated as a request to unsubscribe

A spam text reads, "No donation, just a question: Do you support ICE efforts to keep your state safe from illegal criminals?"

I responded with, "Go fuck yourself" and "STOP."

I received "You have successfully unsubscribed" twice.

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 18/01/2026

Got this letter from my brokerage a couple of days ago. Their S&P 500 index funds are no longer "diversified" under the legal definition. Hold on to your butts...

Letter reads: "Dear Shareholder, Effective November 10, 2025, the "Principal Investment Strategies" and "Principal Investment Risks" sections of the prospectus of each index fund shown in the table below was modified to indicate that the fund may operate as a non-diversified fund, as defined under the Investment Company Act of 1940, to the approximate extent the index is non-diversified.

A non-diversified fund may invest a greater portion of its assets in securities of a smaller number of individual issuers than a diversified fund. As a result, changes in the market value of a single investment could cause greater fluctuations in share price than would occur in a more diversified fund.

Shareholder approval will not be sought when a fund crosses from diversified to non-diversified due to changes in the relative market capitalization or index weighting of one or more index constituents.

Please see each fund's prospectus for additional information.

Fund, Index
Fidelity 500 Index Fund, S&P 500 Index
Fidelity SAI U.S. Large Cap Index Fund, S&P 500 Index
VIP Index 500 Portfolio, S&P 500 Index
Fidelity Total Market Index Fund, Dow Jones U.S. Total Stock Market Index
Series Total Market Index Fund, Dow Jones U.S. Total Stock Market Index

Sincerely,
Fidelity Investments

Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 12/01/2026

Screen grab from the film "Starship Troopers" with the caption "Service Guarantees Citizenship"

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 08/01/2026

I'll send you mine if you want. Don't think I've ever used it.

A coffee mug with the FBI seal

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Matt Loar @matt.loar.name · 07/01/2026

I just learned about an emergency vigil in Chicago.

Flyer for Chicago protest:

"Join us for an Emergency Vigil and protest in solidarity with Minneapolis, in response to the national call for protest from the Legalization for All Network"

"Tonight, January 7th at 7:30 PM, La Villita Arch, 26th & S Troy"