iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Han L.P.

Morgan Johnson @poormojo.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

No joke. I think this is the most important video I have ever seen about mobile games. This guy breaks down how this game psychologically profiles you, and makes the game harder or easier in order to show you ads

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Reposted by Han L.P.

Kat Abughazaleh @katmabu.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

“girl cats are mean” “girl cats are standoffish” “girl cats are —“ my girl cat is constantly trying to put her nose inside my nose so have you considered that it’s a you problem

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Tubing mascara is the air fryer of makeup

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Reposted by Han L.P.

Stellbound: Stellraiser II @antlervel.vet · 04/10/2026

I love too eat three times a day 8AM: Breakfast (400 calories) 5PM: Largemeal (600 calories) 11PM: Extremely Stoned Munchies Hour (3000 calories)

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I dream of the day major bands end their shows by nine so I can support them and also retain my regular sleep schedule

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

Costco is a PVP zone where everyone is my enemy. Except for the other lesbian couple walking at the same pace as us, I would die for them

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

Why call it Reverse Cowgirl when Don Quixote is right there

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 18/08/2026

Watching a robot vacuum spend five minutes struggling to escape from underneath a chair that it had no issue getting under in the first place: what barless prisons have I convinced myself I'm hopelessly trapped within

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 23/07/2026

I will never learn. Biscoff and I will have a toxic on-again-off-again relationship until one of us goes under

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

If Santa's goal is determining your niceness, what's the point of seeing you when you're sleeping? That's a morally neutral activity, it shouldn't need to be monitored. That's how I know Santa's pulling some palantir bullshit over on us

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 06/07/2026

The only good use for teams is sharing pet pictures with coworkers for morale boosts

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 11/06/2026

The Young Teen genre tried to warn me and I didn't listen, now it's happened to me: I've accidentally shaved part of my eyebrow off the night before a big event 🫠

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Reposted by Han L.P.

julia rotor @c3vrotors.bsky.social · 09/06/2026

the worst part about moving from california to a foreign country is seeing people in la shirts like no you don't get it that place sucks

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 24/05/2026

*after giving a presentation where everyone looked ready to off themselves* audience member: wow, you're really good at giving presentations! That's cool, I thought you wanted to murder me the whole time

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 20/05/2026

Sometimes I feel regret about dropping out of grad school, but then a faculty member will email me at some ungodly hour of the morning and I start to feel better about it

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 14/05/2026

My wife: I heard Beyonce's Lemonade for the first time the other day! Me: oh yeah? Great album Wife: what? No the song Turns out she was thinking about Fergie's Clumsy

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 05/05/2026

Current coping mechanism: mentally choreographing my x rated drag king routine set to Shaggy's Boombastic

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 01/05/2026

The market couldn't handle the Pontiac Aztec in 2000 but we as a people are ready for it now. Society's perception of ugly has changed and it's really just an Outback front with a Prius back anyways

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 30/04/2026

Modern office culture is fine and totally healthy, actually. I even get a treat soon!

A screenshot of someone's work calendar for Thursday, April 30. In between two sessions of "CAB Wrap up," they have penciled in a tentative "Treat yourself: Have a lil breakdown"

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 20/04/2026

Whatever kind of day you're having, it's still probably better than this car's

A window painting of a busted looking anthropomorphic blue car at an auto collision center. Its eyes are heavy with trauma and multiple teeth in its grill are missing

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

❌ Woke up to the sound of the cat throwing up 😡 ✅ She did this not on the carpet (as usual), but on top of an easily scooped up paper bag! 🥹

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

Man I hate this timeline. Even the discounted, goes-bad-today oxtails cost over ten bucks

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 14/04/2026

Whenever my brain gets too quiet, I know I can count on TMBG's "The Darlings of Lumberland" to occupy every free space of my mind with its strange rhythms and funky horn arrangements

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 07/04/2026

Hey sooooo what are the folks on the Artemis supposed to do if the world ends in a global thermonuclear war while they're in space

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 28/03/2026

Oooough Biscoff. You taste so good but you shred the roof of my mouth up so bad. We can't keep seeing each other

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

I should be less surprised that a 10,000 year old technology has a very quick learning curve.

A drop spindle wrapped with colorful yarn in shades of periwinkle, pink, and orange in front of a braid of wool of the same color

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

This colorway is called "Unfazed By Loud Men" and it's the reason I bought a drop spindle and am now learning to spin yarn. I am Easily Fazed By Loud Colors

Bundles of wool roving by Witchfire Fibers. It's super plush and has bright shades of periwinkle, orange, magenta, and pink.

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 02/03/2026

Had a dream I was trying to make "8 9" the new "6 7," was totally convinced this would be the next big thing. alas

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 16/01/2026

No matter where I go I am perpetually surrounded by magic the gathering players

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 10/01/2026

People don't go to hockey games to hear you bitch about your babysitter and who in your friend group is getting divorced. Shut your obnoxious ass up

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

Hazard of being in tune with the musical zeitgeist back in 2013: occasionally I get Macklemore's hit song Thrift Shop stuck in my head all day, and never at an appropriate time for it.

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 08/01/2026

The cat woke me up at a quarter past 4 in the morning by standing on my neck and crushing my trachea because she wanted to snuggle and I was facing the wrong direction. This is all I ever wanted from life

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 31/12/2025

>:[ someone driving by threw a big gulp at me on my walk ??? >:] you missed, fucker

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 28/12/2025

If I don't eat a good lox bagel frequently enough I start chewing the walls and clawing up the curtains. I feel whole again, seasonal affective disorder who?

An everything bagel topped with scallion cream cheese, lox, red onions, and capers, topped with fresh dill, lemon, extra virgin olive oil, and fresh cracked pepper in a paper to-go box.

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 20/12/2025

all i want. is to be loved above all other things. which—i really dont think this is a big ask. but mother. soft warm neglectful mother. she keeps trying to play hex puzzle adventure. despite my objections. so as you can see. i live my life in constant torment.

An extremely fluffy calico cat curls up against the shoulder of a person and stares directly at you contemplatively with green eyes, but the side of her face is all squished up so it has a rather silly effect. The person she's leaning against is focused on something off screen, presumably Hex Puzzle Adventure.

A fluffy calico cat curls up next to her sleeping person with her head tilted back and a blissed out look. Her white belly fur is extremely ruffled, to the point it looks like stuffing is bursting out of her tummy. It's clear she's exactly where she wants to be.

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Sorry, no packages are getting sent out for the holidays this year, as box inspector Mochi hasn't finished her screening and is offended you even asked her to hurry up

A fluffy calico cat peaks her head over the edge of a cardboard box and looks at the camera.

A fluffy calico cat sits in a cardboard box and looks at the camera with an expression reminiscent of a recalcitrant child being asked to smile for a photo.

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 19/12/2025

Forever living with cognitive dissonance of vehemently disliking anything Christmas but also finding Noelle and Holly to be pretty cute names

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 13/12/2025

My wife's least favorite of my bits, "Oh hey you dropped this hair, let me put it back on top of your head for you" is not currying any more favors now that it's falling out faster from chemo

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 11/12/2025

My whole job is computer. Why do my typing skills sharply decrease when someone's standing behind me

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 08/12/2025

Contemplating losing my job and riding it all just so I can spend 10 more minutes in the warm bed

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 02/12/2025

It's 2025, why do we still need page breaks when saving a site as a PDF. It's digital and the site doesn't have page breaks, so why can't they just give me an endless scroll option when saving?? Adobe pls

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 24/11/2025

I love applying my alcohol based sunscreen the morning after dermaplaning my face and learning exactly how bad I did at dermaplaning my face

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 22/11/2025

The best photos of her are the ones where she's disheveled and undignified

The very fluffy belly of a long-haired calico cat

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 17/11/2025

These are, without any embellishment, the best things I have ever baked, in my life

Two glass baking dishes stuffed with golden brown cinnamon rolls covered in melting cream cheese frosting

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 21/10/2025

Someone in the neighborhood has been lighting fireworks for like a solid twenty minutes, long enough that I had to look up breaking news to see if he was dead (no 🫩)

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 31/07/2025

Call my qtips Guns n Roses the way they're knock-knock-knockin' on my eardrums' door

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 31/07/2025

Addicted to amending any post about my opinions with "and this is a hill I will die on"

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Han L.P. @matineemonsters.bsky.social · 31/07/2025

If you're looking for a restaurant and filter for ones that are "open now" then it shouldn't show you places that are closing in 5 minutes and this is a hill I will die on

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