iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 14h

Depression really does suck the life out of you. I haven’t been to my one class a week in…several weeks. I’m turning in assignments a week late…I’m sleeping all the time. I just…ugh. Could use prayers or good vibes that I can get out of this slump with an increase in my med dosage.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 20h

Anyways if anyone has a full time job available that the holder of both an M.Div and MLIS holder would be a good fit for that’s open between now and like…February? Please let me know. Im serious btw. My home life is abysmal on top of everything and I need out bad.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 20h

Significant issues in my last ever classes of my MLIS, a car repair that’s going to cost me at least a grand, my best friend’s dad is…not well, and my depression is kicking my ass. I’m just gonna lay down and hit the proverbial reset button on the day.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Hmm…I touched the New Jerome Biblical pretty often when I was preaching. It’s a Catholic commentary on each book but like…I’m big on “find a good singular commentary on whatever book and keep it around” rather than “buy an entire series” cause not every author in a set is best for what you need.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

Hey Episco-pals. My bestie is deeply in need of prayers for their father, Terry. Long story short, his health is really bad and his stage IV cancer might have returned. I’m very worried. Prayers are definitely needed and appreciated. Thank you all so much. ⚓️📕🕯️

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

After studying Buddhism as a religious studies major, the Nichiren Lotus Sutra chant was an absolute ear worm for me that I couldn’t get outta my head! Haha! To this day, I can tell you it. What it means? Not a clue. But I know it!

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Idk. My point being that memorization is a good and amazing thing. But we gotta teach it and expect that newcomers WILL have questions (whether about specific wording or just “why do we do the same thing all the time?”) and priests/lay ministers ought to be prepared to answer them.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Not to mention my experiences with Catholicism as a teen that shaped me deeply in ways I still see prayer theologically. Ik I’m TERRIBLE at extemporaneous prayer, anyone who did CPE with me can attest to it. Hell, I catch myself mouthing along to Eucharistic prayer B all the time during services.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I’ll add to my original point that my memorization of the ‘28 from my youth has served me well when I have run out of things to say in prayer, especially when dialysis took so many memories from me but left me with the words “we have erred and strayed from thy ways like lost sheep”.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Woke up to snack and saw this commentary but I think we’re on the same side here. As a regular-ish pray-er of the Anglican Rosary (deeply out of practice lately) I think memorized prayers are wonderful. I just want memorizing the liturgies to be a good thing that happens, not the whole point.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I gotcha. I think my relationship to memory and intention in liturgical formations is skewed cause parochial school kinda forced that memorization on me rather than letting me memorize it cause I intended to.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Idk. Rote memorization does not make the faith IMO. Do I wish folks knew the Lord’s Prayer or the Creeds by heart? Gosh yes. But when they don’t, would I shame them to their face? Not a chance. I think that’s the difference here. Shame and guilt versus pastoral guidance.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I’ll jump in only to say I memorized so many parts of the ‘28 from my high church Episcopal school I grew up in but at that age I couldn’t care less what it was or what it meant. All to say…memorizing or not memorizing does not constitute who does or does not care, in my experience.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Not just a liturgical perspective but pastorally and in just a common sense way too? Like that’s a huge bet to take not knowing if it’ll go smoothly and then making someone else pick up your fumble? Idk. Just feels gross to me.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

What was the purpose of this besides shame?? Like “ahh ya know what will be good for the betterment of everyone’s souls? A pop quiz!” Like no…this does nothing but embarrass folks. I’m just a layman but this feels less like an “annoying interaction” and more like something to follow up on w/ someone

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Inside thought that won’t go away: I want some kind of relationship (long term, short term, etc.) but my divorce really made me feel unworthy of anything. Like I already screwed up once; I’m not good enough of a person to deserve another shot ya know? Just sucks what divorce did to my brain.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

While we’re condemning shitty abusers: a special “fuck you” to the Hockey Canada 5, some of whom are gainfully employeed in the NHL. They make the league worse with their presence and the teams that protect them deserve to collapse like a flan in a cupboard.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Just cutting student loans for degrees you don’t like is wild behavior. Not to mention social work being one of those degrees?! And religious studies?? Idk man this feels really bad. www.newsweek.com/trump-admini...

newsweek.com

Trump Administration Addresses Plan To Cut Student Loans For Some Degrees

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

This Cornell shit just boils my blood. That’s all I can say. Everyone else is far more eloquent about it than I could ever be.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Because I’m a paid intern making very little money, I live at home for $500/month and despite having savings built up over time that apparently doesn’t matter to rental companies. Like I could pay some in advance and they’re still like “but you don’t make 80k/year??” I feel you on the frustration.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Do I really understand what this means? Not really. But I do know it's not good. Sending prayers and good vibes everyone's way over there!

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Anyone else struggle super hard with self care? I’ve been talking about it ad nauseam in therapy lately but also like…idk how to rest and relax. I wake up tired and go to bed tired so like not knowing how to do self care, in either big or small ways, really feels like it’s pulling me down.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Cleaning out my closet and found my wedding suit right as I was listening to PRESIDENT sing “Is it safe to say / that you never fucking loved me anyway” and that hit me so hard I needed to sit down…

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

As a former dialysis patient, feel free to message if you have any questions or want any insights on the process. Always here to help!

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I'm having to get more and more creative with the ways I can say "replacing research rabbit holes with AI synthesis of entire journal articles isn't helpful" in these class discussion boards and I'm increasingly getting frustrated that I have to keep doing this for a whole semester.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Gateway 2000 I believe it was! Can’t find a decent picture that shows it off but trust me it was…clunky but cool!

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I think it all depends on what kind of recovery…if AA/NA, I’d reference the original Twelve Steps which reference a belief in a “higher power”.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Paying for gas is a real budget item in many american households. Folks see public transit in NYC or DC and think that’s how it all is when in fact it frequently isn’t.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Could use some prayers as my chronic illness and chronic depression are playing with my body and mind like it’s the Wimbledon finals and I’m so sick and tired of being sick and tired while also doing school full time while also doing an internship and job hunting and just everyday life! 😭 ⚓️

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

There’s so much going on here I’m not sure where to start…I think asking “why” is a good start to every question I do have tbh.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

My college just gave us limited access to several AI models including Twitter's AI model which feels...not great.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I feel like I'm largely in the minority of my classmates when it comes to AI in libraries and I'm kinda sick of having to be very via media about technology that's harmful to us all in order to get a decent grade.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I’d say it does, at least in my experience, within rural southern communities. Spent a couple years at a couple of rural VA churches where there wasn’t even a chausible owned by the parishes.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

As a student of religious studies and Christian theology whose mother just today said “I don’t get [Islam], it’s so full of hate” I have real complicated relationship with the 9/11 anniversary today.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Citation: Cerel, J., Brown, M. M., Maple, M., Singleton, M., van de Venne, J., Moore, M., & Flaherty, C. (2019). How Many People Are Exposed to Suicide? Not Six. Suicide & life-threatening behavior, 49(2), 529–534.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

As always, 988 is there if you need support as well as Crisis Text Line at 741741. Help is out there. If you need it, reach out.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

The first loss I experienced was 27 days into my freshman year of high school, and then two months later, and endless times since then. I’m raising this money for them. For all who have been affected. I’ll be there at the walk on 9/26, but you can still donate long after the walk is done!

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

This data shows that it’s not just immediate family and friends who are affected, but all of us, every day. Undoubtedly, someone reading this has been affected by loss or even been affected by suicidal ideation themselves.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

The lovely Julie Cerel at the University of Kentucky in Lexington once wrote a paper expanding on how many people were affected by a suicide. 135. That’s the number of people affected by each suicide. (Cerel, 2019).

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Therefore, I am starting a fundraiser this month for the AFSP Community Walk here in Central NC. Though I am asking for donations for the organization, I am not doing this for me alone. Throughout my life, I’ve been impacted by suicide loss and seen firsthand how ideation affects folks.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

However, that doesn’t mean I don’t still care about this topic or the conversations around it. I’ve left behind much of the online spaces where suicide prevention used to reside in, but I’ve built new communities and new spaces that I feel could use a touch of prevention.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Time for a thread! CW: Suicide Almost 10 years ago, I attended my first suicide prevention conference in Phoenix, AZ. Since then, I have always been a strong advocate of suicide prevention, though I left the field of study after my divorce to give my ex-wife space to be.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

Was anyone else told once that resting is equivalent to laziness and now you embody that so hard that you'll start falling asleep over an email on your day off cause you've been doing chores all afternoon?

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

This was an important cause for both of us, hell we first met when she was visiting a friend in DC who was there for the conference. But even now, I think it an important cause. Just because it was what we connected over doesn't mean it has to be given up.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I'll write a nice long post about it later, but for now I'll just link to my donation page for the AFSP Central NC #OutOfTheDarkness Walk. I haven't done this in years to give my ex space in her field of study but I wanted to at least try to get back at it. afspwalks.donordrive.com/participant/...

afspwalks.donordrive.com

Please support the Central Carolina Walk this fall to help #stopsuicide

Please support the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention to help save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide. Donate or register to walk!

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

If you have thoughts, I’d love to hear them! I’m a fan of most music, even some modern pop (love me some Harry Styles or Halsey!) but idk…does your taste in the arts of culture ever make you feel weird about your faith? Lemme know! ⚓️

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Feels weird when objectively pretty fun and good music is anti-religion when I am, decidedly, for people to have a faith of any kind, as long as they have one. I know that often “anti-religion” leans towards anti-conservatism as a whole so idk…maybe an inclusive faith is somewhat the answer here.

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Marshall M.Div @marshman503.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Like “House of Wolves” by Bring Me The Horizon is objectively speaking against religion as a whole, mainly the kind that sucks its people dry of thought and personality, but the lyric: “When you die the only kingdom you’ll see / is two foot wide and six foot deep” goes SO hard as a lyric!

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