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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago...

@markturetsky.com

424 followers 511 following 909 posts

Audiobook narrator, I also write about comics and Trek. And Trek comics. Recent-ish: A Place Both Wonderful and Strange: The Extraordinary Untold History of Twin Peaks and Goosebumps: Night of the Giant Everything Upcoming: Gamers 2: Leveling Up He/him

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 10/09/2026

Big turnout for tonight's MST3K big screen return.

An empty theater

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 25/06/2026

@trentlcannon.bsky.social Is this confirmed? Right now Popverse seems to be the only outlet reporting that it's coming back.

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 30/04/2026

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 13/03/2026

F-1 (2025) dir: Kosinski

Brad Pitt looking smug in the movie F-1, with the meme text "I sleep in a race car. Do you?"

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 15/01/2026

The Room (2003) dir: Wiseau

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 10/12/2025

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 01/10/2025

Rolling into spooky season

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 27/09/2025

Me and the boys waiting for the lunch buffet

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 08/09/2025

Hey, so I'm a finalist in the inaugural Professional Audiobook Narrators Association Narrator of Distinction awards for my work on The Chronicles of Viktor Valentine by @butucancallmez.bsky.social

A photo of me, framed by a fancy box that says "Narrator of Distinction, Professional Audiobook Narrators Association" 2025 finalist

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 16/08/2025

When my college buddies show up at my work.

A still from Return of the Jedi. The Emperor is talking to Vader and there are two guys standing looking at them, visually between them in the frame. They're old white guys, wearing ostentatious purple velvet clothes. One has a hat that looks like a bunch of purple flat caps stacked atop one another and the other is wearing a hat that looks like a head-sized purple marshmallow. These guys are listed in the wiki as "Imperial Advisers" but they don't have any lines and don't do anything in the movie except for being around for part of a scene.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 26/07/2025

Sinners (2025): There are legends of people born with the gift of making music so true, it can pierce the veil between life and death, conjuring spirits from the past and the future.

It's the big dracula jamboree from Sinners, except instead of the Irish vampire dancing a jig, it's Marty McFly playing Johnny B Goode from Back to the Future

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 17/07/2025

Someone on a Discord mentioned they looked like Zod and his gang, so I just had to...

A (fake) Newsweek cover. It's Zod's gang from Superman 2 on the cover, with the text over them that says "Bisexuality: Not gay. Not straight. A new sexual identity emerges"

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 06/03/2025

I... had not heard this about them?

A comic panel. Captain Britain is on the left side, grabbing his shoulder in pain. He shouts "GUUGH!" On the right is the bad guy. He's holding up his hand, which looks sharp. He says, "The pain surprises you, Captain? You are alarmed at how easily I could breach your force field leaving that point unprotected. Then you are not aware of what I have done to my arm? It is a ninja trick. You know of the ninjas, of course?"

Two panels. In the first, the two are still facing each other down, but now we are seeing the baddie's hand in the foreground, while Cap holds his shoulder in the background. The baddie monologues, "They pound their hands into rock until they are covered with a thick callous. Then they sharpen the callous to a keen point. Of course, the hand isn't much use for anything after that..." In the second panel, the baddie has sliced open Cap's costume, again at the shoulder. He says, "...except cutting." Cap says "RRRAAARGH!" There is a caption that says "The shoulder, again. The shoulder."

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 31/01/2025

Not the heroes we deserve, but the heroes we need. Or something.

Sam and Max, Freelance Police.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 23/01/2025

A screenshot of Audrey Horne from Twin Peaks. She's in the diner, talking to Donna. She is saying, "Yeah, well, I'm going to do my own investigation. With blackjack... and hookers!"

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 22/01/2025

Two comics panels. The first shows a woman mid-transformation into a tree. She has little branches coming out of her head where hair should go and her hands are becoming gnarled. Caption reads "Then, in one horrifying instant, where a woman once stood..." Second panel shows a tree that's roughly person shaped. It somehow has a face with eyes and a mouth and two branches that are definitely arms. Caption reads, "... There now stands only a gnarled and leafless tree! To be continued..."

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 20/01/2025

A comic panel. A giant rises up from the ground while a wizard stands in the foreground summing it. Caption reads, "A terrifying figure emerged from beneath the earth... imprisoned by prehistoric wizards at the dawn of time, it was now free..."

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 19/01/2025

Oh shit, for real?!

A comic title blurb, that says, "Sent on a quest by Merlin, to mystery-shrouded Cornwall... The Black Knight"

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 17/01/2025

A scene from Star Trek: Lower Decks. Boimler is in a small room. There is one window and a door. Out the window can be seen a black mountain set against a cloudy sky. The floor is a black and white chevron pattern. There is a purple armchair with a koala. The koala is light blue and glowing. There is also a floor lamp which provides most of the light and across the room from the koala is a side table.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 16/01/2025

A robin sits on a window sill eating a bug

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 07/01/2025

In the background, 5 people are disembarking from a plane on one of those movable stairways. The one in the front says, "There's nobody here to meet us!" Another one says, "Maybe we arrived too early!" In the foreground, taking up nearly half the panel, is a robot face with a pilot's hat, holding a little radio mic in its robot hand. The robot is saying, "Pas-sen-gers are de-bark-ing, master! They did not dis-cov-er that their pi-lot was a ro-bot!"

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 06/01/2025

@mikemcmahan.bsky.social Excited for the complete series blu-rays, but it's a missed opportunity not basing it on this. It could even awkwardly continue if more seasons got added on after the fifth!

A VHS set of the original Star Trek cast movies. The spines of the tapes make a picture of the Enterprise, but this set was clearly designed before Star Trek VI, because the Enterprise image is finished on Star Trek V. The spine of Star Trek VI just has space on is and some of the red background that the Enterprise is flying out of.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 06/01/2025

As much as I love this, it seems a shame that it doesn't follow through with the original cast movie poster pastiches. Probably the best thing for this to look like is this classic VHS set.

A VHS set of the original Star Trek cast movies. The spines of the tapes make a picture of the Enterprise, but this set was clearly designed before Star Trek VI, because the Enterprise image is finished on Star Trek V. The spine of Star Trek VI just has space on is and some of the red background that the Enterprise is flying out of.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 02/01/2025

Skate park my ass. That's a Guardian of Forever if ever I've seen one.

A news chyron reads "Local News: West Monroe Man Built A Skate Park in His Backyard." The image shows a circular shape. A man inside it seems to be in motion. It's unclear that he's skateboarding. Image artifacts make it seem like he's only half there. It's unnerving.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 01/01/2025

X-Men (2000) DP: Newton Thomas Sigel

An image of Wallace from Wallace and Gromit with a fish-bowl looking contraption on his head with some solar panels sticking out of it while he sits. It looks like Cerebro.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 23/12/2024

I'm at the Dunkin' Donuts I'm at the CBD Vape Shop I'm at the combination Dunkin' Donuts and CBD Vape Shop.

A storefront that appears to have a Dunkin' Donuts on the left side and a CBD dispensary on the right side. You'd think they were separate businesses that are just next to each other, but there's only one entrance.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 18/12/2024

Willem Dafoe looking extra creepy in Wild At Heart. His teeth are basically stumps and he's grinning maniacally.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 06/12/2024

I never got a satisfactory answer to the question posed by this spam e-mail

text that reads "Is Congress Doing Enough for Mark Turetsky Voice Overs?"

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 03/12/2024

4 hours, 47 minutes recorded today...

A screengrab from the Simpsons. A monkey wearing a diaper looks exhausted (and also has gotten fat) he has entered the sentence "Pray for Mojo" into a small speech computer.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 03/12/2024

So, did these four ever... hang out?

Lucy and Andy from Twin Peaks

Leeta and Rom from Deep Space Nine

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 02/12/2024

It's that time of year again...

A drawing. A human-sized catlike demon is carrying a figure in a bible-style robe with a halo. Almost like he's setting up a Christmas creche somewhere.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 30/11/2024

Sometimes my neighborhood suffers from decreased draw distance.

A photo of a suburban road. It's foggy, to the point where you cants see anything in the distance and medium distance trees just seem to be gray shapes

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 28/11/2024

Happy Thanksgiving!

The tiny bird carving dinner scene from Eraserhead.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 26/11/2024

Yesssss!

Columbo shakes hands with Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 26/11/2024

Sometimes Columbo just hits.

A screengrab from Columbo. A boy in a blue lab coat plays chess against the Forbidden Planet robot. There are giant old-school computers in the background. Jose Ferrer looks on.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 25/11/2024

INLAND EMPIRE (2006) Dir, DoP David Lynch

It's Homer's hallucination of dancing on a beach with ice cream cones and lollipops, but instead of Sugar, Sugar, it's the lyrics to The Loco-Motion

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 11/11/2024

Friendship ended with Cable. Now Cyclops is my best friend.

A comic cover for X-Men: X-Tinction Agenda. On it, Archangel is flanked by Wolverine and Cable. It's vaguely reminiscent of the Friendship Ended with Mudasir image.

A different X-Men: X-Tinction Agenda cover. It looks like a trace of the first, but Cable is replaced by Cyclops.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 30/10/2024

Hey, are we still doing Hannibal screengrabs with What We Do In The Shadows quotes?

It's Mads Mikkelsen from TV's Hannibal. He's looking at an unseen interlocutor, with an inquisitive look on his face. The caption reads, "If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it."

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 27/10/2024

BTW, my kid won her age bracket in the local costume contest at the fall festival. Here she is doing a martial arts demonstration in costume.

Girl onstage with her fists up. She is dressed as The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 26/10/2024

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 21/10/2024

I did the thing.

Selfie with an "I voted" sticker. The Louisiana sticker features a crawfish in a top hat and tails.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 19/10/2024

oooh, I slept on it this year and he swoops in...

My twitter account, which reads "Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago..."

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 11/10/2024

MFW I'm resisting making "Aurora Borealis" jokes whenever they're mentioned.

Principal Skinner from the Steamed Hams scene. He's looking a bit nervous and unsure how to proceed.

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 11/10/2024

David Lynch saying "no."

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 09/10/2024

Fucker is doing a Grinch face...

Grinch doing his squinty grimace face

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Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 04/10/2024

Shlub Winnie the Pooh: "Arguing with a comics creator over which superhero can beat up which."
Tuxedo Winnie the Pooh: "Arguing with a comics creator over which superhero can out-invent which."

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 24/09/2024

Makes sense. He just remastered a few of his movies in 4K with AI upscaling and they look awful.

It's Jamie Lee Curtis from True Lies. She's sitting in an office cubicle. She looks fine, if a bit oversmooth. Wait... what's going on with the photos behind her? They look much too detailed and... wrong...

A zoom in on the previous panel. An AI has interpolated what the face should look like in the photo behind Jamie Lee Curtis and it looks hideous. Why does she have a weird monster face photo in her cubicle, James?

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 19/09/2024

Amazon listing inadvertently re-creating 18th Century novel title format.

An Amazon book listing, reading, "The Drowned: From award-winning author John Banville, a searing literary thriller: Detective Inspector Strafford and pathologist Quirke team up again (Strafford and Quirke Book 4)" as the title of a novel

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 17/09/2024

It's Roy Batty from his "tears in rain" speech in Blade Runner. Except he's got Winnie the Pooh's head. Winnie has a cut and is bleeding from it. Caption reads, "tut tut, looks like rain."

Mark Turetsky? Why, he disappeared 20 years ago... @markturetsky.com · 05/09/2024

Absolutely true!

Text from Twelfth Night, ". Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,
it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but
the fool should be as oft with your master as with
my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there."