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Michael Markowitz

@markowitz.bsky.social
729 followers 435 following 1.6K posts

He/him. Writer. Los Angeles, CA. www.imdb.com/name/nm0002864/?ref_=e…

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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
On this day in 1845 London inventor Stephen Perry patented the vulcanized rubber band. Speaking of Vulcans, on this day in 1986 the top secret final scene of “Star Trek IV” was filmed, unveiling the new Enterprise. Though James Doohan played a Scot, his parents were Irish. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 17/03/2026
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 05/03/2026
Reporters and pundits always say someone “said the quiet part loud” but I suspect few know they’re quoting Krusty the Clown, who spoke the line in the classic “Simpsons” episode “A Star is Burns,” which aired on this date in 1995.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
On this date in 1816, Rossini’s “The Barber of Seville” debuted at the Teatro Argentina in Rome. All as prelude to the great 1950 Looney Tunes cartoon “The Rabbit of Seville,” written by Michael Maltese and directed by Chuck Jones. it made unwitting opera lovers out of generations of kids.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
Yikes!
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
Fifty years ago this month American television viewers were obsessed with the miniseries “Rich Man, Poor Man.” I don’t know if younger people can appreciate just how massive a cultural event this show was.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 14/02/2026
Which street would you rather live on?
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 11/02/2026
Happy Birthday to the great Leslie Nielsen, born February 11, 1926.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 31/01/2026
Happy Birthday to Scotch tape, introduced on this date in 1930. And if you’re thinking, “Who cares when Scotch tape’s birthday is?” then just think of all that Scotch tape does for you. Is it too much to ask you to pause every hundred or so years to say thanks, you selfish bastard?
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 28/01/2026
If you want a nice, quiet place to be alone with your thoughts Friday night, head to a theater showing “Melania.”
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 23/01/2026
“A federal judge hearing arguments Thursday over President Donald Trump’s use of an 18th-century wartime law to deport Venezuelan gang members had a question: Could a president use the same law against a ‘British invasion’ that was corrupting young minds?… A government attorney said yes…”
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
That crease where Trump’s hand meets his wrist? I don’t think that’s healthy.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
I have this fantasy that Trump was so sickly because he got a fatal infection from the binder clip.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 21/01/2026
Trump wanted so badly for his father to love him he adopted the hair and makeup of his mother. How sick is that?
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
I pray Trump never finds out how big Africa is.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 15/01/2026
These are blank lawn signs, but is it possible to get one with “Superhard” printed on it? Asking for a friend.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
Trump wants to expand control of Venezuela, increase ICE activities, seize Greenland, Panama, Colombia, and Mexico, and do more White House construction.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 09/01/2026
This is not how a cabinet official dresses to discuss a deadly shooting. It’s how a Real Housewife dresses for a theme party.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 08/01/2026
Today in 1902 New York City enacted a law against men on the street “looking at a woman in that way”. First offense of the anti-flirting measure carried a $25 fine. Offend again and you could be made to wear a pair of horse blinders! The law is still on the books today.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 31/12/2025
Who is that with Joe and Mika? Why are they standing in front of an old timey photo? Why is Mika holding an invisible triangle?
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 22/12/2025
No, thanks, five minutes was plenty.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
But God forbid anyone says a bad word about Charlie Kirk, right? Trump is filth.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 15/12/2025
Rob Reiner’s generosity and his spirit inspired and moved me, as did his remarkable movies, especially “The American President.”
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 07/12/2025
A lot to unpack here. It’s hard for me to imagine having a strong enough opinion about the potato I bought to write down my feelings. Also hard to imagine anyone is on the fence about potatoes until they find out my thoughts.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 05/12/2025
Stephen Colbert pointing out that Olivia Nuzzi looks like Handsome Squidward made my month.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 24/11/2025
Please, people, if you’re doing a Zoom (especially on TV) and you refuse to spend $30 on a good external camera, at the very least put a stack of books under your laptop so the camera is at eye level.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 11/11/2025
Happy Birthday to Jonathan Winters, born on this day in 1925.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
I gave the new Morning Joe newsletter — written by Scarborough himself — a chance, I really did. Then today he ran this and I cancelled.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
I get that Trump has shit taste. But don’t these designs hurt his eyes? When I look at them I get something like snow blindness.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
“Under the Depths” is a 1905 illustration very relevant today. From @meidastouch.com
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
If only we could get Thanos to dust a very specific 30% of American humans.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 03/11/2025
I’m willing to bet that Trump suddenly started watching Seth Meyers because in his channel guide he saw thumbnails of Isla Fisher and Emma Stone. @latenightseth.bsky.social
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
Karoline Leavitt was “horrified” by the toilet in the Lincoln Bathroom?? First of all, fuck her, how dare she. Second of all, if I had three wishes one would be for Leavitt to wake up in one of Jigsaw’s games. Let her recalibrate her definition of “horrified.”
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Happy Halloween!
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 31/10/2025
Ready for Election Day! #yeson50
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
Happy National Cat Day from Tuck and Macy.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Which animal is South Carerddd?
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 29/10/2025
Maybe it’s Halligan’s inexperience. Maybe it’s her incompetence. Maybe it’s Maybelline.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 28/10/2025
Trump keeps saying the East Room has a maximum capacity of 88 for dinner. Here is the dinner for the ballroom’s corporate donors. 130 people, not looking the least bit cramped.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 27/10/2025
My late, beloved Whopper.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
Who robbed the Louvre? Peter Falk, of course. #IYKYK
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 21/10/2025
The only other president to cause so much destruction at the White House. And this one didn’t mean to.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Trump complained that a camera hit the mirror he “just had brought up from the vaults” instead of realizing an area crammed full of people with equipment is a terrible place for a mirror.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Trump also chopped down the beautiful willows at the Kennedy Center.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 19/10/2025
I don’t see football anywhere on my list of interests, Bluesky.
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 17/10/2025
When I opened my eyes this morning, this was six inches from my face. ❤️
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Michael Markowitz @markowitz.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
Why does Bluesky think I want a timeline full of these? And how many times do I have to click “Show less like this” before it stops?
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