iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

Pretty excited to live in an era when I can be on a date with a man telling a story and casually include “Now I see that my first mistake was talking to a man” and he can laugh and nod in understanding

000

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

I’m sitting near these two women on the train, they read as best friends in their mid thirties. Their outfits look so cute and they are smiling at each other and peacefully discussing something. They could sit next to me in a cafe for hours and it would be a delight.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

At a Cake concert in 2018, I watched the woman in front of me shop for bras online.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

Thank god, one of them left and the other one is working quietly.

000

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

On the other hand, all unknown men start at strike two and I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop, so I am wishing they would get away from me before they share an idiotic opinion. It’s packed in here otherwise I’d move, and also I was here first, so here we are.

100

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

On the one hand, they are men and they friends and are conversing face to face and not about crypto, before I tuned out they were talking about their daughters, so compared to their cohort they’re doing pretty well.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 04/03/2025

I am sitting in a cafe for an hour before a doc appt. It’s small so two men are sitting in the same comfy chair are as me having a conversation. If it were women, I’d be eavesdropping. My default assumption is that there is no way what two random men are discussing is interesting, so I’m annoyed.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 11/02/2025

Should I buy five or six Coney Island mermaid parade t shirts? More importantly, who is going to stop me?

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 02/04/2024

A man at work interrupted me one too many times and I snapped. He asked me a question, I started talking, he interrupts me midsentence. I said “You’re talking over me, you’re talking over me, you’re taking over me…” until he stopped and apologized. I had to say it ELEVEN times.

0201

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

I finally have the ability to look at someone and see them without my ego getting in the way. I am okay with someone struggling or being deeply flawed, and I will meet them where they are if it works for me.

000

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

I expect a high level of communication in general. I expect to know you and for you to know me. I expect to connect intellectually as well as emotionally and physically. We don’t need to be two sides of the same coin but we need to see each other as full human beings, even if it’s casual.

100

Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

It needs to be a yes and not a “why not” for me to see someone more than twice. I can’t keep dating if there’s nothing wrong but also nothing especially right. I try to be kind and clear if I need to end it, and I expect the same.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

The person needs to understand the importance of therapy. They need to have gone to therapy at some point in their life, and I’d prefer someone currently in therapy. We’re all broken little weirdos and if you’re not examining your own bullshit I do not have the energy for you.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

The person has to respect my time and my schedule. Our time on this earth is limited and precious. I’m also a single mom and have other relationships. Don’t cancel at the last minute. Honor our plans and communicate if there’s an emergency.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

As I have gotten older, I just don’t really have patience for the bullshit of dating, so I date less in general. Here are my rules for myself for dating so I don’t go kookoo bananas or quit all together

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 12/09/2023

I stopped writing about dating and polyamory as much when my dating fell off a cliff in 2020 Now that I’ve been back at it for a year I have lost interest in most cis men, and that has really changed the conversation for me.

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Reposted by Marisa

marlo @marlo.ooo · 18/08/2023

okay but who was actually every woman, chaka khan or whitney houston or was it a prime minister/president sort of arrangement

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 29/08/2023

I am acknowledging that I used to follow suit, but I will no longer do it. However, the subtext is - this is something that is expected of young women in particular. Have I outgrown this obligation because I am too old? finally powerful enough to reject it? Or too tired to put up with it anymore?

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 29/08/2023

I am asserting a boundary that, frankly, men rarely if ever have to assert. My body is mine. I don’t owe anyone anything. I am implying a violation of a social norm that applies to me, a woman, and how I interact with men.

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 29/08/2023

A year ago, I uttered this sentence and I can’t stop thinking about it, how it means more to me than I thought in the moment. “The part of my life where I use my body to make men feel comfortable is over.”

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Marisa @marisam.bsky.social · 21/07/2023

You’re so cool! 💜💜💜

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