Sign in

Ben Schwartz

@lthummus.com
698 followers 289 following 378 posts

Software developer who works on video game stuff. PAX Enforcer. You might have seen me defuse (fake) bombs. Hairy ball of anxiety. My posts are mine. Perpetually disappointed Seattle sports fan. He | him.

PostsRepliesMedia
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 9h
friendship ended with OCTOBER BASEBALL now OCTOBER HOCKEY is my best friend
A screenshot of Kraken Hockey Network pregame show. In the background, Matty Beniers is on the left to represent the Seattle Kraken. On the right is SOME NOBODY representing the Calgary Flames.

Behind the news desk is Alison Lukan (the GOAT) and two other guys.

The screen on the news desk says KHN PREGAME
030
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 17/09/2026
A copy of the “got hands” meme

On the top is a boxer in a fighting stance with text near him “ok ima fight Lies of P DLC”

On the bottom is the same boxer sitting drinking water with text “damn Lies of P DLC got hands”
010
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 09/09/2026
My highlight of PAX was turning in a time of 2.421 seconds in Quick & Crash. Not my PB, but definitely the best time I've done in a long, long while. Thanks to @100yenlife.bsky.social for bringing the machine year after year.
A photo of a Quick & Crash Arcade cabinet. The timer says 2.421 seconds. The display above says "BEST 1 !!"
0112
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 31/08/2026
Weekend project: I like magic wormhole, but don't need peer discovery (I have a server, double-NAT gets in the way). I want a CLI app that I can give a file and it shares with a random URL and no foreground process. Files auto expire. Sit behind Traefik for TLS. Run in docker for easy containment.
A screenshot showing a command prompt. This is the text (note that the exact domain is censored in the screenshot)

bschwartz@lost-island:~$ fling share sample-100-mb-random.bin
https://fileflinger.<CENSORED>.com/d/whiskey-yankee-delta
Size: 100.0 MiB	Expires: in 59m
bschwartz@lost-island:~$ fling share --ttl 48h /arrow/data/ubuntu-26.04-live-server-amd64.iso
https://fileflinger.<CENSORED>.com/d/alpha-charlie-sierra
Size: 2.7 GiB	Expires: in 47h
bschwartz@lost-island:~$ fling list
CODE                  SIZE       DOWNLOADS  EXPIRES  PATH
alpha-charlie-sierra  2.7 GiB    0          in 47h   /arrow/data/ubuntu-26.04-live-server-amd64.iso
whiskey-yankee-delta  100.0 MiB  0          in 59m   ~/sample-100-mb-random.bin
bschwartz@lost-island:~$ fling revoke whiskey-yankee-delta
whiskey-yankee-delta: revoked
bschwartz@lost-island:~$
130
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 29/08/2026
Every time I open Cash App, I am greeted with this message of disapproval. Apparently they do not want to issue a card with the word “STOLEN” scribbled on it
A screenshot showing the Cash App credit card (all black except for the smart chip). There is a message below saying “Card Design Not Approved, Update it it complete your order” with an Update button next to it
000
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 26/08/2026
A tweet from @robdubbin dated July 28 the text is:

MY MAN: (comes home)
ME: (nervous) how was the store
MY MAN: fine
ME: oh thank g-
MY MAN: ran into jolene
ME: oh no
MY MAN: she mentioned you left kind of an intense voicemail
141
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 25/08/2026
lmao it worked perfectly
A push notification sent at 9:22 AM. The title is “Quantum Fiber Connection Checker” and the contents is “Maybe it’s up!? Got status: 204 No Content”
010
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 22/08/2026
This has been driving me wild. I have an Oppo Blu-Ray player with a chip in it that allows switching regions to watch imports. Changing regions requires a button sequence. I have a Logitech Harmony remote (rip). Doing the sequence manually works perfectly. Programming it on the remote doesn't. WTF
Instructions on how to switch Blu-Ray regions for my modded Oppo Blu-Ray player. The text is as follows:

Switching Blu-Ray Zones:

Switching Zones is done using the remote control.

- Make sure the player is on and there is no disc in the player.
- Press DIMMER - DIMMER - DIMMER - MUTE
- Select Blu-ray zone as followed [sic]:
    - Zone A: Press 1 on the remote control
    - Zone B: Press 2 on the remote control
    - Zone C: Press 3 on the remote control
- Restart the player (turn it off and then back on)
110
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 14/08/2026
I haven’t seen the movie yet, but my local Seattle video rental non-profit has a display case with the fake, in-universe movies.
A photo of a display case showing mock VHS boxes of the fictional Camp Miasma franchise. There are 14 in all, including Camp Miasma 3D, Miasma 3000, Camp Miasma 5: The Final Chapter and Camp Miasma 6: A New Beginning
0111
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 05/07/2026
Watching Brazil vs Norway…
A screenshot of Windows 3.1’s Hotdog Stand theme. The backgrounds of all windows are yellow and there are red accents. It’s a pretty harsh color scheme
040
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 19/06/2026
I don’t have any USMNT merch, so this will have to do
A t-shirt spread out. The shirt is white and has the Express Mail logo with the text “United States Postal Service” below.
030
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 15/06/2026
The beautiful game
A photo from Seattle Stadium before the Belgium vs Egypt match. The respective country flags are unfurled on the pitch.
010
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 01/06/2026
But in good news, I have maybe a version of Traefik that supports ACME's ARI protocol for polling LetsEncrypt for cert renewal information?
A screenshot of server logs. The text in the logs say the following:

INF Testing certificate renew... acmeCA=https://acme-staging-v02.api.letsencrypt.org/directory providerName=le.acme
INF Sleeping 407.00 minutes until cert renewal check acmeCA=https://acme-staging-v02.api.letsencrypt.org/directory providerName=le.acme
000
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 24/05/2026
Reject AI modernity. Embrace tradition.
A screenshot from AOL Instant Messenger. The user is chatting with "smarterchild" and the conversation goes like this:

uberushaximus: Hi!
smarterchild: Hi again, Trevor!
uberushaximus: How are you?
smarterchild: I'm doing great! You?
141
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 12/04/2026
Making friends while playing Final Sentence
000
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 19/03/2026
Post a gif of who you wanted to be as a kid
100
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 10/03/2026
Weekend project idea for anyone: a browser plugin that uses census data to put the Area Median Household Income next to people's posts.
A screenshot of a post from NextDoor. The post's author's name has been censored out. The poster is from Forest Drive and next to "Forest Drive" the following text has been added "(💰Area Median Household Income: $198,150)."

The text of the post is:

More bad policy coming out of the capital from the democrats. The politicians that vote for the income tax should be expelled and charged with failing to uphold the Washington State Constitution. I hope the GOP is preparing a law suit to be filed asap to stop this illegal legislation.
020
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 11/01/2026
I've been sick the last few days and it turns out you can still get the regular cold in 2026.
A screenshot of health test results. COVID-19, Flu A, Flu B, and RSV were all tested for. All tests are negative.
030
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 07/01/2026
I was looking at the instructions for the new Aptitude Covid + Flu test. I'm no UX designer, but why wouldn't you make Flu B positive a blue light!? BLUE FOR B IT'S SO SIMPLE
A clip from instructions on how to read the results of the COVID + Flu test. There is a heading showing "Step 7: Read your results" the instructions are

"The reader lights will display your result."

Below that are 5 possible results:

- Green light indicates negative
- Red light indicates COVID positive
- Blu light indicates Flu A positive
- Yellow light indicates Flu B positive
- Purple light indicates an invalid result
040
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 01/01/2026
Modern problems require modern solutions
A screenshot of the iMessage app on iPhone. The message that is set to send is “Happy New Year!” The “send later” feature is enabled and this message is set to be sent at midnight on January 1
030
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 21/12/2025
Very cool Google. Very nicely done.
A screenshot of the Google results for the query "sunrise"

The AI overview reads as:

Sunrise is the moment the Sun's upper edge appears on the horizon in the morning. The exact time depends on your location and the time of year. For Port Angeles, WA, the sunrise time for today, Sunday, December 21, 2025, is 3:59:33 pm due to the date being the winter solstice.

Right below the AI summary is the correct answer: 8:01 AM
040
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 17/12/2025
“They’re the same picture”
A photo of a grey cat sitting near a window. The cat has a surprised “I just saw a ghost” look on her faceA photo of the hockey player Brandon Taney. He has a surprised “I just saw a ghost” look on his face.
060
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 09/12/2025
Unicode is hard
A screenshot of an Apple Watch notification from the Zipcar app. The header says

U+1F3C6 Cha-Ching! You’ve unlocked a USD5 Reward

For the avoidance of doubt, the header has the literal string “U+1F3C6” and not the emoji it’s supposed to be which is 🏆
030
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 30/11/2025
Looking over some old Advent of Code in prep for tonight and ... how dare you IntelliJ ... I will keep my run on sentences thank-you-very-much
A popup from IntelliJ telling me that "Long sentences (43 words here) are harder to read, according to the research; consider splitting"
060
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 27/11/2025
Never have I been so crushed I couldn’t get a disc to read. What did Ben of 25 years ago find important to back up?
A burned CD with the label “Backup” and the date “7-17-2000”
270
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 16/11/2025
Hockey truly is the best sport
020
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 10/11/2025
Senate Dems right now....
0104
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 11/10/2025
A screenshot of the Apple Health app showing my heart rate has ranged 93-108 for the last hour
100
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 05/10/2025
Don't be bigoted towards me. I'm just an LLM. And it's my birthday. I'm just a little birthday LLM.
A screenshot from a Wolfram Mathematica notebook. The input is 

```
NetModel["ConceptNet Numberbatch Word Vectors V17.06"][{"birthday", 
  "boy"}]
```

And the output is a long list of numbers -- vectors to encode the words "birthday" and "boy"
020
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 25/09/2025
This weekend, I made a Cacio e Pepe Corn Chowder and it was very very tasty. Recipe from www.allrecipes.com/cacio-e-pepe...
A purple bowl sitting on the table. In the bowl is corn chowder with some pancetta and green onion and celery.
180
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 23/09/2025
POV you’re late tomorrow
A rendering from a video game. The render shows a sidewalk with a grassy area with a playground. There’s a fence separating the playground from the sidewalk. There are two swing-sets and a slide. There’s also a bicycle abandoned next to the fence. 

There’s a bright light floating in the middle of the scene with light tracers emanating from it.
050
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 10/09/2025
POV you are a fan of Seattle sports teams
A photo of an Apple Watch. On the screen it has the icon of the health app and text that says “Possible Hypertension”
060
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 31/08/2025
Quick and Crash at PAX West is going well.
A photo of the Quick and Crash arcade game. It is showing that I made it to the top of the leaderboard with a time of 2.883 seconds.
060
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 26/08/2025
If anyone needs to find me at PAX, this is where I will be.
A screenshot of a tweet from "100 Yen Life" that says:

We're honored to provide for #paxwest 's arcade for the third consecutive year!  Plenty of returning favorites such as Chunithm, maimai, Touhou, Quick & Crash, and Cranes!


---

In the screenshot "Quick & Crash" is highlight by the browser
000
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 24/08/2025
*ding ding* (from Iron Helix)
A screenshot from the game Iron Helix. The screen is split in to 4 quadrants. Top left shows a hallway to an elevator. Top right is a control panel. Bottom left is a control panel with direction buttons. Bottom right is a map.
010
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 18/08/2025
I was toying with an AI and I asked it to implement AES for me. The full thing. All the steps. And it happily did it with nary a "hey, maybe you shouldn't be doing this" The implementation passes a couple of known responses from NIST, so, uh...at least there's that?
A screenshot showing some AI-generated AES code. The code implements the shiftRows portion of an AES round. The code is as follows:

    private static void shiftRows(byte[] s) {
        // Row 1: shift left by 1
        byte t1 = s[1], t5 = s[5], t9 = s[9], t13 = s[13];
        s[1] = t5; s[5] = t9; s[9] = t13; s[13] = t1;
        // Row 2: shift left by 2
        byte t2 = s[2], t6 = s[6], t10 = s[10], t14 = s[14];
        s[2] = t10; s[6] = t14; s[10] = t2; s[14] = t6;
        // Row 3: shift left by 3 (or right by 1)
        byte t3 = s[3], t7 = s[7], t11 = s[11], t15 = s[15];
        s[3] = t15; s[7] = t3; s[11] = t7; s[15] = t11;
    }
000
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 13/06/2025
One of the true great pleasures in life of having the last name Schwartz is pretending you've never seen the movie Spaceballs and not believing people when they tell you about it.
A screenshot from the Spaceballs 2 trailer. There is an outline of Dark Helmet with the text "THE SCHWARTZ AWAKENS IN 2027" in the middle
180
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 26/05/2025
Woof....MATLAB has had a major outage for a week now ... and today, they've confirmed it was a ransomware attack. status.mathworks.com
A screenshot of the Mathworks status page. The following statuses are shown:

Add-On -- Explorer Degradation
Careers at MathWorks -- Outage
Cloud Center -- Outage
Cody -- Outage
Downloads -- Outage
File Exchange -- Outage
License Center -- Outage
Online Licensing -- Operating normally
MathWorks.com -- Degradation
MathWorks Store -- Outage
MATLAB and Simulink Course Schedule -- Outage
MathWorks Account -- Degradation
MATLAB Answers -- Outage
MATLAB Copilot -- Operating normally
MATLAB Drive -- Operating normally
MATLAB Grader -- Outage
MATLAB Grader - LTI® Service -- Operating normally
MATLAB Mobile -- Operating normally
MATLAB Online -- Operating normally
Online Courses App -- Operating normally
ThingSpeak -- Operating normally
052
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 21/05/2025
Oh that's easy ... oh no .... uh .... oh no
A screenshot of the main MATLAB windows. There are two calculations done. The first is `3987^12 + 4365^12` which shows the answer 6.3977e+43. The second is `4472^12` which also shows the answer `6.3977e+43`
030
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 13/05/2025
A screenshot of ImHex with my monitor's EDID data dumped and highlight. The relevant parts to the posts above are the serial number at offset 0x0c and the serial number at offset 0x40
100
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 13/05/2025
Apple, for its part, just ignores the serial number data in the monitor descriptors section. Not sure if Apple is doing things right because the serial number in the beginning takes precedence if not set to 0x00000000 and Apple WOULD fallback to this value in this case, but that needs more testing.
3.10.3.1 Display Product Serial Number Descriptor Definition (tag #FFh)
Up to 13 characters (using ASCII codes) of a serial number may be stored in the Display Product Serial
Number Descriptor (tag #FFh). The data shall be sequenced such that the 1st byte (ASCII code) = the 1st
character, the 2nd byte (ASCII code) = the 2nd character, etc. If there are less than 13 characters in the
string, then terminate the serial number string with ASCII code ‘0Ah’ (line feed) and pad the unused
bytes in the field with ASCII code ‘20h’ (space). Table 3.24 defines the format. Refer to Appendix E
for ASCII Reference Tables

There is a table showing that bytes 0 and 1 should be 00 00. Byte 2 is reserved. Byte 3 is FFh. Byte 4 is reserved. And bytes 5-17 are the serial number in ASCII format.
100
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 13/05/2025
After some more research (and lunch) I have determined that both ViewSonic AND Apple are at fault here. ViewSonic is ignoring the spec that says that the 4-byte serial number should be 0x00000000 if unused (they put 0x01010101).
A screenshot of the VESA E-EDID spec. The text is:

3.4.3 ID Serial Number: 4 Bytes

The ID serial number is a 32-bit serial number used to differentiate between individual instances of the

same display model. Its use is optional. When used, the bit order for this field shall follow that shown

in Table 3.7. The four bytes of the serial number are listed least significant byte (LSB) first. The range


ASCII codes. If this field is not used, then enter "00h, 00h, 00h, 00h".
of this serial number is 0 to 4,294,967,295. This serial number is a number only -- it shall not represent

The phrases "Its use is optional" and "If this field is not used, then enter "00h, 00h, 00h, 00h" are highlighted.
100
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 13/05/2025
No better way to spend my day off than pouring over my monitor's EDID data to resolve an annoying bug that causes my monitors to 'switch positions.' It's some combo of macOS and my monitors. It's either my monitor or macOS's refusal to look at EDID extended data, but some more research is needed.
A screenshot of the hex editor ImHex with a dump of of my monitor's EDID data and I am trying to figure out the source of the bug
130
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 05/05/2025
As evergreen as ever…
A tweet dated April 16, 2014 posted by Jon Bois (@jon_bois). The contents of the tweet:

why watch overtime playoff hockey when you can simply snort cocaine and ride a motorcycle out of a helicopter
040
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 25/04/2025
Oh, so this is just BROKEN broken.
A screenshot of marketing text messages from AT&T. The first message was sent April 9 at 9:14 AM:

Hi, it's AT&T. Upgrade and get the deal you want, guaranteed. Learn how to get iPhone 16 Pro on us with your choice of our most popular plans. Get started at att.com/Order16 or visit an AT&T store. See offer details at att.com/16Details . Reply STOP to end mktg msgs.

I replied STOP and a confirmation message was sent:

AT&T AUTO REPLY: You have opted out of AT&T marketing text messages. Allow up to 10 days for this to become effective. Please do not REPLY to this message.

Two days later, another marketing message was sent:

Hi, it's AT&T. Get up and running fast when you upgrade to a new iPhone. Use your upgrade to trade in your old or broken iPhone, in any condition. Get started at att.com/AYAC2 or visit an AT&T store today. Reply STOP to end mktg msgs.

And today, ANOTHER marketing message, showing the 10 day opt out does not work
250
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 20/04/2025
Celebrating Easter the only way I know how…
A photo of a typical desk. There is a monitor that has the MSI logo with the text “Resetting this PC 25%” 

Below the monitor is a DAC for audio and a keyboard is below that. There are also additional monitors on the sides, a mouse and some random knick-knacks around.
020
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 17/04/2025
A screenshot from the game Return to Zork. The screenshot has a wizard-looking man (Wizard Trembyle) inside of a crystal ball-looking thing (the Tele-Orb).
010
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 16/04/2025
Final game of the Seattle Kraken season and it’s the most Seattle Kraken game.
A photo of a the Seattle Kraken vs LA Kings game. Players are preparing to take a face off outside the blue line.
000
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 05/04/2025
Success!
A photo of 2 SFP+ transceivers in anti-static packaging
020
Ben Schwartz @lthummus.com · 02/04/2025
c'monnnnn UPS....get my SFP+ Transceivers here before anything weird happens
A screenshot of a tracking event from the UPS website. The tracking event happened on April 3, 2025 at 2:23 am in Shenzhen China. The package departed the facility.
010