Sign in

lavitaloca34.bsky.social

@lavitaloca34.bsky.social
194 followers 13 following 71 posts
PostsRepliesMedia
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 14/03/2025
In rushing to “fix it”, you risk causing your partners to feel sadness or frustration that they may have been unheard by you, that they’re a problem you’re trying to solve, that you’re rushing them through their process, or that their feelings are a nuisance to you.
070
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 25/02/2025
Indirectness≠Tactfulness/Kindness (Thank you, Cenetta) When we’re indirect with somone, especially when we have to communicate something uncomfortable to them or perhaps reject them, we think we’re doing it to be kind to them but really, we’re only concerned about being kind to ourselves.
140
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 22/02/2025
A helpful statement to utilize in polyamory when your partner shares something with you about another person they are involved with that causes you to experience challenging emotions is:
170
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
You can love your own company & still feel sad about not having someone to share it with. You can love & validate yourself & still feel longing for someone to validate you. We need to stop pushing the idea that folks can self-love themselves out of the BASIC HUMAN DESIRE & NEED FOR CONNECTION.
0145
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 19/02/2025
Chemistry ≠ Compatibility CHEMISTRY: liking a person and them liking you in the same or in a similar way. COMPATIBILITY: liking the relationship experience you have with a person and them liking the relationship experience they have with you.
071
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 18/02/2025
A personal saying of mine in nonmonogamy is “I don’t take liberties that I’m unwilling to afford.” For example, if I would have a hard time supporting my partner taking a two-week vacation with someone else, I don’t ask them to hold space for me taking a two-week vacation with someone else.
1100
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
A sentiment I have heard repeated often amongst polyam and nonmonogamous folks is “I am not responsible for my partner’s feelings.”
160
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 16/02/2025
I have come to understand that the primary purpose of communicating my wants and needs is not to GET my wants and needs from people (which I have little to no control over). The primary purpose of communicating my wants and needs is to build my trust in my OWN self advocacy.
2112
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 13/02/2025
Today’s Polyamory Reminder: Becoming mired in the shame and guilt of your past mistakes in polyamory can impede your ability to move on and grow. Give yourself grace by understanding that you weren’t capable of better at the time and forgive yourself.
190
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 08/02/2025
Polyamory Hack: When you find yourself feeling complicated uncomfortable feelings about what your partner is doing in nonmonogamy, a good question you can pose to yourself to examine the feelings is “Would the part of me that is my partner’s friend be upset about this?” For example:
161
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 06/02/2025
Wholesome Polyamory Moment: My partner crashing my virtual movie date with my metamour and getting to see them be silly with each other while snuggling. We watched “The Secret of Nimh”. I dozed off for a bit. They let me sleep. Cotton Candy sweetness. 🥰
090
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 04/02/2025
A commmon occurrence in polyamory, especially amongst folks who have experienced relationships that were hostile environments for their nonmonogamy, or with folks who identify as “people pleasers”, is these same people attempting to course-correct by entering into their “Me Era”.
193
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 03/02/2025
A Personal Polyamory Share: I have a birthday coming up in March and I’m celebrating it by going on a trip with BAE. I’m flying out to see them and we’re going on a road trip to a nearby beautiful locale.
150
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 28/01/2025
Learning to differentiate between our partners doing something wrong (betraying us) or doing something we don’t like/makes us uncomfortable (causes us to feel betrayed) is important because the two instances have different approaches, responses, and solutions.
170
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 24/01/2025
When you’re truly content w/ what someone is giving you, what they give to others doesn’t matter much to you. I only desire relationships where folks are giving me EXACTLY what they wish to give me & that’s EXACTLY enough for me. If you appreciate my work: CashApp: $lavitaloca35 Venmo: Evita-Sawyers
082
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
#Musings On Intentionally Seeking to be Less “Angry & Upset” with my Partners in Nonmonogamy If you appreciate my work: CashApp: $lavitaloca35 Venmo: Evita-Sawyers PayPal: easawyers24@yahoo.com #polyamory #polyamorous #enm #ethicalnonmonogamy #consensualnonmonogamy #nonmonogamy #nonmonogamous
271
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
I was having a conversation with my amazing, HELLA smart, HELLA fine, funny, exquisite metamour and I was sharing with her about an internal polyamory challenge I recently experienced with our partner.
240
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 21/01/2025
Today’s Polyamory Reminder: Be gentle and loving when correcting yourself. Inspired by adrienne maree brown
151
lavitaloca34.bsky.social @lavitaloca34.bsky.social · 13/01/2025
What up, Fam? It’s ya girl, ‘Vita.
170