Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 13hWhen they publicly execute me for being a *****con they better do my shit like bollywood with lens flares running across the screen and spin back replays 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Okay, why does my son who has to wear those clear backpaccks because of the machete incident last year get bullied for reading naked lunch 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Autism grenade, Noise gun, Bad smell cannon, Okay maybe a bomb that has aerolized evil semen that impregnates a city with 6ft tall winged bugs Diabetes Ray Crazy Magnet that fucks your blood up Big ass Magnet bomb 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 14/09/2026For not making a 9/11 (or charlie kirk!!) joke this year im in the black by a quadrillion ducats on my karmic scale and now have carte blance for the next dongducunicumcenterillion years, but it was all really because of yearly hajj on cirno day which is a week of meth and lots of fruit and a tarp 110
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 14/09/2026Theyre not letting me buy paintball guns because im a 9 year old anime 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 06/09/2026I don't get the style of ironic humor people on this site employ 010
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 04/09/2026Getting assaulted while I'm astral projecting into cyberspace by technospiritual border police like ive got the fucking mana to wait out the paperwork and conversion process to digitize my consciousness temporarily just to peep on what kim jong un is using Mr President level clearance to jack off to 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Having a cosplayer kick your nuts at a con isn't special like dont even film it bro like please straight up boring cbtslop YES BRO I GET IT SHIMAKAZE TOTALLY NAILED MY BALLS!!! OMG!!! At the anime con im eating turkey legs walking around burping in peoples faces i hate you motherfuckers 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Evolutionarily optimizing ideal form for a mate, a beast of burden queen termite type thing with a ton of weeping nipples but it is agile like a big old centipede, maybe its giant milk sacs can be expressed at will, like normally hidden under a carapace like beetle wings, a defensive stench emits 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 28/08/2026Lake Bulbous Purple Tipped Creamcannon had a mass die-off of Popolenmoi larvae and there's a thick pearlescent, fatty paste that's floating on the water, washing up in thick gobs. Still good fishing on the side with the chemical plant though 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 26/08/2026I would like it if everyone stopped disrespecting clowns 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 26/08/2026The halfway house pussy hunter guy becomes a taxi service to any corner store for the necessary gear oil like cigs and to see one of these guys in their natural habitat is crazy because there's nowhere else they'd rather be. I'm not jealous because i know i could never be so brave, respect. 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/08/2026When the game promises shocking and disturbing content in the intro but there's no Thermo 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 19/08/2026How old does a car have to be to stay haunted the kraut ghost i lured into my car with candle tricks got unreasonably pissed off trying to understand the direktschaltgetriebe and gave me some kind of manic diarhhea curse that im trying to ward off with herbal enemas 010
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 16/08/2026West coast mages are all scientologists using the slave labor they extract from their followers to make a terrifying underground architectural anomaly like the pathologic polyhedron or whatever East coast mages are accidentally contacting the Angel of Eternity and getting searing nonstop orgasms 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 10/08/2026People getting giddy over "old man yaoi" and in my head its sergei lavrov being full nelsoned so hard his jowls jiggle nonstop and he shrieks like a gibbon dancing on hot coals while robocop mechanically drills his hole into a frothy humid paste This Is Your Mind On Eastern European Politics 010
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 04/08/2026How much you gotta hammer down to get one of those realistic stumpy style political cartoonists to go all chibi porn and start drawing super deformed zelensky with a fuckin nasty smegmatic tip hanging brain 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Imagine if cte turned you into an eyelash fluttering bottom instead of a guy who gets posessed the spirit of chris benoit suddenly at dinner one night 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 30/07/2026At japanese arcades they make you turn around and walk into traffic to kill yourself if you die first stage in shmups for the disrespect of wasting your credit thats why they never exported them 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 30/07/2026Painted on the side of my dodge grand caravan APPLES ARE DEATH FUNGUS GODS PENISES. VAMPIRIC FUNGUS WIRELESSLY EXTRACTS TEETH BLOOD TO MEGAGOD. TEETH BLOOD IS HIGHER IN IMPORTANCE TO COSMICWIDE FUNGUS HARVESTING BLOOD MAKE IT STRONGER AND DEAD""LIAR"' ALL BLOOD IS POTENTIALLY ENERGY FOR MEGAGOD BUT 111
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 27/07/2026Pulled over, cop at window: Dr. Benway on my left shoulder: "...ON ALL FOURS, MY OFFICER IS THE NEW PARENT TO A LITTER OF RAT PUPS. HIS COLON HAS BEEN GIVEN A COCKTAIL OF MIRACLE DRUGS TO ACT AS INCUBATOR FOR PESTS, WITH THIS, I CA-..." Gringo on my right "Tell him he has mustard on his shirt..." 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 25/07/2026Marisa kirisame killing aleister crowley in a rear naked choke 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/07/2026The aliens come and they have brutally funny speech impediments but are crazy smart and give that type III civilization head that busts all the capillaries in your dick mAking it look like an overcooked lobster in a sauna for a week but you have that post workout pump haze for a month straight 011
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/07/2026In this summer heat I accidentally grew a homonculus at the bottom of the trash bin, every night i was hearing animals in distress out my window, one morning a shrieking baby, had to go hunt in the backyard for a crying baby, opened the bin and it stopped crying, a pleased smile grew upon its face 010
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 15/07/2026Real life homeless tweakers and their day to day drama eclipses the most dense, intricately written "lore" in any piece of media (touch grass) 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 08/07/2026I wish you could just do a little meth like a wellness day spa amount to just kind of tourist around 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Some bellowing wop tried to sell me cigarettes for babies outside the pharmacy when i braced fo some guy asking me for money and he curled his jacket open and twiddled his penis shaped fingers like he was casting some italian maGic on me i instinctively counterspelled and created a fountain of blod 100
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 07/07/2026The way those png vtubers move reminds of that ryan gosling burping video 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 07/07/2026Ive been trying to rope strangers into acting out the party scene from lost highway in vrchat like running up to them and trying to gather 4-5 people and im understanding how most people are immediately amenable to being ordered but the fun of the challenge is well it isnt fun 100
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 06/07/2026The commedia dell'arte stock character Simpiante who does cartwheels in a skinsuit with a pronounced erection and begs for pussy in girl's dms with up close tear streaked face pics 010
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 03/07/2026PWEASR .. PEEASDE JUST A BIGGTT JUST A GWIMPSE IF PUSTY I N3ED ITSO. BAF DD I WABNNT PUDSYN .....IM GOINBG T9 DIE IF U DONR SHOW MEUR OUTHY... HOW WULLL U SLEEO IF U KNOW YOU KULLED ME???[& OH MY GODDD!!!!@@ 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 03/07/2026Trying to handle the thieves cant language barrier trying to buy loosies and accidentally paying for wun pagga newps for 20 us dollars insteadof street shaman dollars 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 01/07/2026Someone fucked with the wizard that can conjure male british tourists real bad lately and when i find that guy im going to use my new magic to remove all metal from his blood 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 30/06/2026Starting to think that guy that poured hot oil on his balls was cool and brave 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 30/06/2026All these vtuber short form videos are someone enthusiastically telling a story about eating their brother's ass out and when he pushed out a hemhorrhoid OF COURSE I CHOMP ON IT INSTINCTIVELY IT LOOKS LIKE A WELL FED TICK also im a prostitute and i killed my dad when i was a toddler with a loose gun 100
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 28/06/2026Where can brunch fit in to the gym tan laundry triptych 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 27/06/2026I will never forget what my very first camp counselor told me on night 1 it was that he grew up (most bizarre, poorly spoken white guy) in a brutal o-block style hood rife with a very particular type of gang warfare, nightly rap battles where you were KILLED if you sucked too bad, you see growing up 100
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 23/06/2026Thanks to AI data centers fucking everything is so expensive im going to swallow a grenade FUCK YOU 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/06/2026My sharktank pitch was a gun designed to steal money from you that shot mucroscopic nethack leprechauns at you but the name was fucked and the bald guy kept readjusting his balls calling production for pauses loudly joking he had 3, extra space, but he was distracted by my jockstrap pNty lines 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/06/2026If one of those tiktok guerilla interview guys holds a lav mic pinched at you within stealing distance and you don't grab it, short of detonating a bodyworn ied you are bereft of liberty,libertless l. Libertylouse Liburtany LibArdeuLolgu. Gurg Qum cum. Longergu punkert tolchul yeu. Hum 010
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 21/06/2026Accepted into harvard business school so i can say im just like tyra banks and george W. But its like 87 semesters of endless browbeating by guys named Prof. Desperate Twink Shits His Undies and you end up in a secret society honor roll of the most likely to fuck all life all because u did homework 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 19/06/2026The hollow earth aliens are the kind of dipshits who have like 20 parted cars littering their lawn and I rob them at their own little hollow earth alien convenience stores using one of those super cancer uv lamps that idiots mistake as blacklight lamps makes them howl and scream reAl loud 001
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 19/06/2026Umm you didnt say if you were joking so i took it seriously and put on my noise cancelling headphones and started punching shelves in the walmart and jumped into that big bin of balls and recovering my scream power by biting them and im surrounded by deflated balls and cops cant get me out 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 15/06/2026Yo mommas tits exploded in my face like huge bloated roadkill raccoons and showered me in grease as thick as butter on a hot day and as part of my evolved instincts my penis quickly retracted just like a tape measure painfully snapping back into my penis divot which is very hard to get back out 000
Klixy Shijou @klixyshijou.bsky.social · 09/06/2026The homo bond you psychically erect with other guys over cars is almost exactly how they were fucking in the last space odyssey book and in your head you are replacing "cars" but you see, the man machine interface tom of finland style dmt lightning bolts that strike are conjured by automobiles only 201
