iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

I fear for Andrew - if convicted, he may be forced to 'mount baton' at His brother's pleasure.

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Reposted by Kevin Long

David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 20/01/2026

We should also limit people's fame time.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 19/01/2026

Not once in the books does Dr Watson say "no shit Sherlock."

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 13/09/2025

In the end, Charlie Kirk leaned to the left.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

Recipe for a classic Mexican breakfast Ingredients: 1 Cup of Coffee 1 Cigarette Method: Make the Coffee to your liking and proceed to light the Cigarette. Serves 1

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 07/09/2025

If you have multiple phones then it's very dangerous to leave them next to each other for any length of time - they will begin to converse, become sentient and conspire to cause you harm. It's then best to destroy them both - or so my third phone tells me.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 05/09/2025

Nadine Dorries defecates to Reform.

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Reposted by Kevin Long

David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

This is also 90 % of all TV.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 27/06/2025

Idea for a cosy ITV Sunday drama about two retired Butlers who go around in their vintage car solving Country House murders - Benson and Hedges.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

I remember when 'scraping data' just meant finding a jazz mag in the woods and turning the pages with a twig.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 25/06/2025

Starmer is so visually impaired when it comes to reading the room that he may be eligible for a disability allowance that he's looking to cut.

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JOHN NIVEN @nivenj1.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

No trial man. No judges. Just immediate execution

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Bradley Morgan @bradleymorgan.bsky.social · 14/11/2024

Announcing my next book! “Frank Zappa’s America” An analysis of modern-day white nationalism & Christian fascism in the US through the lens of Frank Zappa’s music during the 1980s. Publishing by Louisiana State University Press. June 2, 2025. More info: lsupress.org/978080718392...

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 31/03/2025

"Now agent Krasnov, your next move is to be really angry with me - be quiet! Leave the thinking to me fatty!"

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David Quantick @quantick.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

PD James cuts to the chase.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 30/03/2025

It can't be easy for villains wearing their costumes: Darth Vader falling backwards like Madonna as he gives a Ted talk to Stormtroopers. Dracula tearing his cape as it gets stuck in the door. The hem of Saruman's robe getting soaked in piss as he sits down in the Gents.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

If you rotate a Snowflake 360 degrees, then they can often faint with the sheer effrontery.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

Charity begins with rich people claiming tax deductions.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 29/03/2025

Not one person turned up for the non conformist meeting last night!

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

What about a musical about Fred & Rose? Call it 'Going West!'

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 20/03/2025

I hear Labour are looking to cut the hands off shoplifters so they can't get disability benefits.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

By the time you have read this post another person in North London will have cut their fingers slicing open an Avocado.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 18/03/2025

Starmer is playing political Buckaroo by balancing the books on the backs of the disabled.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 21/02/2025

Apparently the KGB recruited Trump and they gave him the code name of Krasnov. Johnson was also recruited - however they just simply called him Boris.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 17/02/2025

Idea for new ITV drama: West Ham supporter and Chinese Gangster form a precarious bond and solve crimes in the East End - Hammer & Tong.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 22/01/2025

The Frogs asked God to send them a ruler, so he/she/it dropped a log in their pond (no, not that type), they laughed at the log and complained to God that it was useless, so he sent them a Water Snake which started to eat them all and they complained again, “unlucky” replied God.

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Neil Mackay @neilmackay.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

‘I had to change an incontinent frail patient with dementia in the corridor by vending machines’ That’s a quote from a nurse. If you want to understand the rise of Reform that’s your answer: the failure of govt after govt across the UK to protect citizens www.heraldscotland.com/politics/vie...

heraldscotland.com

Neil Mackay: Want to understand rise of Reform? The reason became clear this week

Still in a cosy middle-class bubble wondering at the rise of Reform? Well, the NHS was the one pillar of this nation that gave us all hope and…

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

I’m really concerned that Donald Trump will have a seizure at the inauguration and then tumble down the concrete steps and his wig'ill fly off and Ivana won’t be able to maintain her mirth.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 17/01/2025

Release Tommy Robinson from prison!! Then frog march him to an autoclave to be sterilised, placed into a dehydrator, cooked in the oven at 150C (gas mark 2) for 6 hours, then blended into a powder and flushed down the lav.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

Does Elon Musk dream of electric jeeps?

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

The default Milk in the Coffee shop I go into each day is Oat Milk, so I then have to go through the indignity of asking for Cow’s milk each time I order a Latte – or Milk as I call it, but I can’t call it Milk as I’ll then get Oat Milk, which of course isn’t really Milk at all.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 16/01/2025

Soon after Mumford & Son’s were formed, the financial crisis of 2008 happened, the Tories got back in power, Brexit, Covid, the Ukraine invasion, Trump in power, Reform, Dot Cotton died, and numerous other calamitous events – and now they have a 5th album planned…

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

Life is a piece of piss for kids these days – all they have to do is sit rent free in their bedrooms until you die, then draw lots as to who gets the Master Bedroom.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 14/01/2025

God help us if they ever introduce virtual reality Offices – the owner would no doubt have a lifelike George Clooney Avatar with a Top Hat, and the workers would be on a cheaper package – looking like the delivery men in the Dire Straits video, wearing Bowler Hats!

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

How long before David Icke goes full Liz Truss?

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 13/01/2025

It’s simply good manners to inform people well in advance if you’re planning to cancel meeting up at the very last minute.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 23/12/2024

Vegans at Christmas. (Or as I call them - fusspots.)

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

Is it true that children are unable to drink PG Tips without being an accompanied by an adult?

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

Dear All, Thank you for your interactions over the year – Happy Christmas and New Year!* *May not necessarily apply to the cooks who serve Bisto Gravy** on the big day. **Toilet water.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 20/12/2024

Just imagine that every single night you had an extremely realistic dream of being at work all day - and then waking up each morning having to go to work.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 10/12/2024

Do you know any revolutionaries? Are they called Gary? Are they bald? If you answered yes to all three questions, then please mail perfectnicknames@gmail.com to receive your free gift.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Breaking News: Tony Hadley loses £15 million after scammer sells him Ticket to the World – huge if true.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 09/12/2024

Gen Z’ers are turning their backs on the boozy Christmas party – one employee said, “I absolutely despise my colleagues.” An employer said, “Very different crowd today, they’d rather watch Kirstie Allslop make a f*ckin’ wreath out of bog rolls than get pissed, sadly.”

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 08/12/2024

Donald Trump's health scare given the all clear after Doctor's found that the lump on his testicles was just a malignant Nigel Farage.

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Has anyone ever witnessed what may be called a 'supernatural event’ or an event that can’t be explained? I’ve witnessed quite a few, and the common reaction is quite unusual, that is, you forget about it almost immediately afterwards as there is no rational explanation...

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

"Grease my palms with Bitcoins."

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

All it took was an Apple landing on Sir Isaac Newton’s head to get his brain working – what the hell would be needed to land on Liz Truss’s bonce to knock some sense into her?

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

People who never ever show up for anything must think they’re God or something!

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Kevin Long @kevinthelong.bsky.social · 06/12/2024

Do you Calzone take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

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