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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is when Jesus called Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John fake news when he didn't like what they wrote about him.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus heavily pushes AI data centers while bragging about how strong, smart, and high-IQ he is.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus lunged at a female reporter for asking him a simple question about his proposed $1.35 trillion bribe.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus offered people $5,000 if they accept him as their Lord and Savior.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus incessantly trashes credible journalists on Christ Social because his approval rating is at an all-time low.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus called people backwards and poor for not wanting to destroy the planet with data centers.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Seeing AI slop commercials on TV feels so dystopian.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus made it a felony for homeless people to sleep in public places.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus instructed his followers to spend most of their time online complaining about the genitalia of 1% of the population.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 14/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Karoline Magdalene left the Jesus administration after he left her vulnerable to enemy attack atop his donkey, Ass Force One.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus flipped tables because Coca-Cola wouldn't let them put his name on a can.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus falls asleep during the Last Supper while Judas Kennedy Jr. rambles on about stuff he has no clue about.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 11/08/2026

Christian and overall annoying person Litney Wynn stood up to share the gospel on her most recent flight, only to notice that no one had their phones out to record. She sadly sat back down because it was never about Jesus.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 07/08/2026

If there is a god and a heaven, I think it’s more likely that kind people get in. I have to believe that if there is a creator, they would reward being a good person, not mindless worship and being a piece of human shit.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 04/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus tells his disciples to board airplanes and proselytize to captive audiences against their will.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 03/08/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus hosted a UFC fight on the Mount right after his sermon.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus instructs his disciples to put a cross emoji in their Instagram bio while berating trans people online.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

Post a perfect album from the 90s that isn't Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam or Alice In Chains.

static.klipy.com

Weezer Dance

ALT: Weezer Dance

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 27/07/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus said “Blessed are the ones who cut funding for cancer research.”

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

Randy: “You have TDS!” Randy’s vehicle:

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 26/07/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where Jesus said he can a salt beautiful women because he’s famous.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is where Jesus tells his followers to love thy neighbor as thyself as long as said neighbor was born within these borders.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

I always get a chuckle when a white boomer in the Western Hemisphere claims to know exactly what the creator of everything wants, based on what he allegedly said to illiterate goat herders in West Asia thousands of years ago.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 22/07/2026

Sorry, but The Odyssey was just not realistic enough for me to enjoy it. They should have thrown some more believable stuff in there like feeding thousands of people with a handful of bread and fish.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 21/07/2026

I think my favorite Bible verse is the one where the disciples praise Jesus for not taking a salary, but then Jesus increases his net worth by $2 billion during his term as savior.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 16/07/2026

"We need this country to return to common sense." - guy who speaks in tongues and thinks that women were created from man's rib

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 30/05/2025

People leave Christianity for many reasons. They see the hypocrisy of it all. They realize they don’t need organized religion to believe in a higher power. Or they’re like me and realize there’s just no good reason to believe that any gods exist.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 28/05/2025

Pretty interesting, huh? Of all the gods throughout the entire history of mankind, he thinks his god is the real one. All other gods are manmade. Tell me you’ve never thought outside the god box without telling me.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 27/05/2025

Wanna know how Christian I was? I didn’t want to lust, so I had one of my friends set a parental password on my Dish Network and not tell me what it was. It blocked me from being able to watch anything rated R.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 13/04/2025

Evangelical Christians talk seemingly nonstop about issues like trans women competing in women’s sports. Family members, people I used to go to church with, pastors—they all talk about this. BUT… When a pastor is charged with crimes such as sexual assault, they don’t say a goddamn thing.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 26/03/2025

The man in question, 34-year-old Brian Thompson, says he first noticed signs of joy shortly after skipping a Sunday service in favor of sleeping in and “doing whatever the fuck I want.” open.substack.com/pub/jesusunf...

open.substack.com

Man Discovers He is Much Happier After Leaving Religion

Who would've known?

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 10/03/2025

I may be going to hell, but at least I won’t have to spend eternity with Christians.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 09/02/2025

Christians watching the Super Bowl halftime show, trying to decipher the satanic message

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 06/02/2025

What are the best sports accounts in this app? Making sure there are enough good ones for me to quit Twitter today.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 28/01/2025

Ah, the ol’ classic “Get a job” when they don’t like that you have an opinion.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 27/01/2025

I feel like if I decode this, a secret door opens or something.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 26/01/2025

Uhm… he’s right behind me, isn’t he?

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

As a content creator, one of the things I struggle most with is adequately replying and engaging on all platforms. It’s easy to copy & paste posts, but it’s hard to spend the time to engage in a meaningful way in a million places. Anyone relate? And, yes, I’ll be posting this everywhere 😆

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

Christians really think that they can drop the mic after spouting Pascal's Wager, don't they? open.substack.com/pub/jesusunf...

open.substack.com

What if I'm Wrong?

My suffering makes them joyful.

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Jesus Unfollower @kevincrowecomedy.bsky.social · 15/12/2024

How it feels when you realize there's no good reason to live by rules written by some dudes who said god talked to them

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