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Katie Hannigan

@katiehannigan.bsky.social

479 followers 1.3K following 55 posts

this account is a safe space for puns

Posts Replies Media

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 11h

Inflation has got me watching a sketch about a man who lives in a van down by the river, like wow he has a car.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

A sexy librarian is a thirst trap for knowledge.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

Sometimes self help is just self lying.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Love is patient, love is kind… yeah, kind of an asshole.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I was the crazy friend in college, and now I’m just living that epilogue.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

A lot of millennials are in therapy cause a lot of baby boomers aren’t.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

When you’re in your 20’s a tattoo is a cool picture, but at 30 it’s a personal reminder.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

NYC: If you can make it here, you will probably spend it on rent.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

when two ppl with glasses get married love is legally blind.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

When i see another girl crying on the train, I cry louder to give her the privacy she needs.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

i heard a guy call a threesome with 2 girls and a guy as the real way. But I call it the safe way.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

When i abandon my diet in a pastry shop, I call it desserting

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

the only thing worse then calling the wrong name bed, is calling out the wrong nickname - they you have to continue to use it.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I like to say, “It’s not rock science,” cause those people work hard too.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Moving to a nice neighborhood changed me: now i go through ppl’s trash a lot.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Haven't poo'd in days #comedy #relationships

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

A man only wants one thing, and if he’s over 40, it’s pizza.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Smeller's the feller #comedy #dating

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Guys want to be friends with ladies to sleep with them and ladies want to be friends with guys so they don’t have too.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Watching a long tiktok (a movie).

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I will not be shamed! #comedy #funny

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Bar trivia is like what if tests were fun!

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 22/09/2026

Catching up with Sydney Sweeney! #comedy #funny #sketch

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

I’m a socialist drinking (only vodka)

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

Alcohol: because it’s hard to worry when you’re drunk.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

Today I will be brave enough “what?” when I didn’t hear what someone said, instead of laughing and saying, “I knoowwww.”

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

A wedding is just a prom with your family.

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

It’s really important to test your smoke alarms. I test my about 3 times a week when I cook.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I’ve moved11 times in 13 years, so I’m a minimalist by default. Every move I hold my possessions one by one and ask, does it spark back pain?

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

I can spot a married guy from a mile away, but usually they come a lot closer.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

Nyc speakeasy bars are so annoying. Enter through the phone booth and don’t tell anyone!!! That the cocktails are $29.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

When a man has a midlife crisis at 50 it’s like, aw, an optimist.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

Phrases like 40 is the new 30 are just a ploy by the government to make you feel better about not owning a house.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

Today is the day that people find out the person that they’re dating is a lot younger than they thought.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

I texted my ex that I’m going no contact and he didn’t even have the decency to respond

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Tiktok is like, what if everyone in the world was a theater major?

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

Every female in a sci-fi movie is like “my hair is short bc it’s the future.”

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

When you have room mates in your 20’s, it’s fun. When you have room mates in your 30’s its like… look at us!! We’re all living our dreams. Still.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

My uncle is a brilliant science fiction writer, but so far he’s only been published on my facebook wall.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

I drank 3 nights in a row, which is actually healthy once in a while according to an article on the internet that I am trying to find.

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

Relationship hack: if you’re too lazy to go through your partners phone just say you did and follow it up with “is there anything you want to tell me?”

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Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 11/03/2025

I forgot women’s day… I will now begin apologizing

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 05/12/2024

When i have to fart but don’t I am holding space

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

I’m homeschooling myself with TikTok

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 30/11/2024

Check out lady Journey podcast! We’re talking fall flavors with Sebastian Connelli! youtu.be/TFXyfr-HJg4?...

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

I’m into Thanksgiving a-sides. (Uncle Jim stopped taking his medicine)

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

This year

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

My uncle is a brilliant sci-fi writer but so far he’s only been published on Facebook.

Reposted by Katie Hannigan

Mr. Spock 🖖 @spockresists.bsky.social · 27/11/2024

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony. However, eating too much pie is okay because the sin of pi is always zero. 🖖

Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Tweets on Bluesky are called bloops.