ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 10/08/2026then i’m not sure. i retained my keyboard skills, which i did admittedly practice more, & string instrument skills, and i can sight sing and project reasonably well if im not thinking about whether i sound like a man, but it won’t sound great. it may just be knowing the mechanics 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 10/08/2026i feel like i’m becoming more right-wing, or at least stupider and meaner. picking social media sites that are dominated by normal people is probably necessary. mostly that’s prob like instagram reels and tik tok but here counts too 130
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 10/08/2026should probably spend more time here, at some point last year i realized i did not believe anyone held socially liberal views, even among persecuted minority groups, and then was a bit blindsided when my district’s congressional primary nominated a DSA candidate over our pro-israel incumbent 241
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 10/08/2026i was very resistant to classical training due to never practicing but i wonder if it still had an impact. years of solfege classes have to have done something to help my voice pass without voice training 100
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 20/03/2026all these things are happening right now under capitalism and are also historical inevitabilities of any political system. marxism-leninism is not an ideal system in a vacuum but is probably the most effective one at eliminating existing inequalities and socioeconomic problems 0130
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 20/03/2026checking out nkoda and some of their scores are kinda unreadable. not sure if that’s their fault or the publishers’. i wonder if they need engravers or archivists—i can do both 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 19/03/2026this may be the most "graphic design is my passion" album cover I've ever seen 031
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 04/03/2026you can’t resist against an empire that’s inside your head. i’m not really sure what else there is to do in terms of history 000
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 04/03/2026i’m still p sympathetic to right-wing anti-imperialism bc the right wing is clearly correct about a lot of things, otherwise they wouldn’t always win, but anti-imperialism is last century’s war; these days we don’t really even have countries anymore, just an eternal individual war of all against all 100
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 04/03/2026i suppose there is still the wall street journal and financial times, but you have to ignore a lot of opinion and ideology to get to the facts 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 04/03/2026one consequence of 2023-2025 is that i basically no longer trust axis of resistance-aligned news sources. i already didn’t trust US or european media, but so much analysis of US or israeli strategy, weaknesses, military outcomes, etc all proved false. so for now there is no way to monitor situations 330
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 03/03/2026one third of my DMus portfolio was a set of requiem fragments. seems to be the vibe these days 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 02/03/2026i’m not sure if i like anything very much 110
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 02/03/2026like tbh i’m not thinking in terms of music, i’m thinking in terms of what would yield a good review in someone’s blog or an online forum. speaking of writing for a time that no longer exists 110
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 02/03/2026writing music is hard bc im also simultaneously trying to envision the critical response and make changes that take it into account in advance 110
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 02/03/2026i think realizing this is why i basically stopped living in like december 2024 110
Reposted by ultra strawberry dreams 🍓👁️🍄🪸 @bloomfilters.plus · 26/02/2026it's straightforward to punch one nazi but when everyone around you casually engages in nazi activities this definitely merits an alternative strategy 122817
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 26/02/2026yeah i guess if there are any classical music-related jobs anyone can think of i’m willing to do them 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 24/02/2026apparently life would be good if i didn’t have to love someone and instead would marry someone and have a family i don’t care that much about just for stability and to obey the patriarchal diktat. somehow my number of husbands and children continues to be 0 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 24/02/2026every day i tell myself the only way to have a good life is to give up on self-actualization and personal happiness and willingly submit to a hierarchical power structure rooted in tradition. then i don’t submit to a hierarchical power structure rooted in tradition 120
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 21/02/2026they still act like they’re trying to bargain with us, like they have no control of anything important to them; like their control of the government and the media and the economy tastes like ashes in their mouth as long as any trans person is happy 040
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 21/02/2026what’s weird to me is how unsatisfied the transphobes are. on X i once talked to someone who was like “yes. we hate your tiny minority group so much we’re willing to destroy the country just to not see you. doesn’t that make you want to detransition?” and obvs i was like “no why would it” 1101
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 20/02/2026genuinely have barely written any music, any new works that aren’t just revisions or revivals of old ideas i had, in more than half a decade. if i finish this it will be my ~American Symphony~ or w/e just bc it’s the first idea ive actually had living in america 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 20/02/2026im writing a large orchestral piece consisting mostly of quotations because i guess its 2026 or something 110
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 01/02/2026oh yeah i also will try to post more on instagram and threads (username: avalentineoutofseason) if anyone wants to follow me there 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 01/02/2026existing etudes are too hard for me and existing preparatory studies are too boring, so i guess now i'm putting some together for myself for whenever the piano is tuned again (idea stolen from Marc-André Hamelin / Paganini etudes var. 7, the only one i could ever be able to play lol) 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 20/12/2025weird, first 2 weeks it always makes me incredibly sleepy and lethargic and then things pick up again (unfortunately also increased incidence of migraines, but those didn’t go away when i stopped it so i guess i just only have 4 or 5 days in a week now) 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 17/12/2025maybe i should lean into it and work night shifts? but i genuinely hate being awake at night, i only do it bc i need to finish work on time and couldn’t make myself do so during the day 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 17/12/2025apparently people are normally able to focus their mind and lock into tiresome drudgery and mindless labor at like 8am, instead of not feeling awake enough to do so until about 10pm when the impending need for sleep forces them to do it 110
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 17/12/2025like maybe the next rain of frogs should happen in Russia or Brazil or something. give the middle east a break 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 17/12/2025kinda sick of this always happening, when are we going to get some biblical plagues that *aren’t* zionist 130
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 15/12/2025it’s a small percentage to be sure but they have all the capital and capital is the only thing that matters these days 190
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 15/12/2025unfortunately i also know trans ppl whose families went from passively nonaccepting but putting up with them (or e.g. not trying to insist others use their birth name etc) to outright cutting them off or becoming abusive, mostly since november 2024. also have met a lot of newly anti-trans people 2358
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 15/12/2025so when are we going to start burning down the data centers 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 11/12/2025as has been the explicit policy in most of the world post-2020 000
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 11/12/2025for example “trans people produce more surplus value for capital when having access to medication/surgery/etc” doesn’t make sense when the # of hospital beds, doctors, nurses etc is being cut to the minimum necessary to restrict medical care to the ruling class, leaving everyone else to die 100
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 11/12/2025i mean there’s no viable counterarguments to these positions; if the government was like “we’re banning trans people next week” there is no basis to convince them otherwise that makes sense within their value system. i guess we are an aberration to that system and have to operate outside it somehow 100
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 11/12/2025being a lifelong medical patient yields the standard extortion threat: “you are too weak to survive without modern technology and depend on society to produce medication for you: therefore you only exist on the sufferance of the transphobic ruling class and must appease them by any means” 000
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 04/12/2025we know from looking at the european continent that societies where women have social and not just legal equality that birth rates recover, often to a greater degree than captured in stats (which are significantly underestimated because childbearing is increasingly delayed) 000
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 03/12/2025i don’t understand economics at all and maybe free market capitalism can just keep doing this for 100 years without negative consequences for the bankers. but it seems unlikely 030
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 03/12/2025it seems like uber eats now has to borrow $60 from you and promise to pay it back next week when the bank actually gets your money to them, the bank has to steal an extra $40 from you when you overdraft because they don’t trust the government to keep them solvent and have to depend on you instead 120
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 03/12/2025am i wrong in thinking that the way every company is now putting holds on your card and no one’s bank is processing deposits on time sort of indicates a total loss of confidence by the bankers in the governments that maintain the international monetary system 130
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 03/12/2025or we could just make those accommodations available to everyone, and ensure they’re part of how society works by default. that seems both simpler and more ethical 1146
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 03/12/2025sex can be changed pretty easily actually. it may not count as “enough” of a change for you, but it’s usually enough to allow trans people to be identified socially as the opposite sex and lead normal lives 010
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 20/11/2025everyone keeps saying the fascist momentum has stalled but i don’t know where people are seeing that. they never seem to lose 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 19/11/2025kinda in that position where i’ve gone from free fall to floating but still don’t have anything to hold on to 020
ultra strawberry dreams 🍓 @kaimai.bsky.social · 19/11/2025i rly need something to do with my time to avoid falling further into the void 130
