Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 11/05/2026Well, it's finally happened. I don't know if it's old age or a brain issue, but I was watching a British sitcom last night and had to put on closed captioning because I couldn't process what they were saying. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 25/04/2026The night we landed at Normandy Beach. By Julia Scotti. open.substack.com/pub/julia709...open.substack.comThe night we landed at Normandy Beach. By Julia Scotti.I hate that I have to start this little tale by saying that it was a dark and stormy night but…it really was. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 17/04/2026Thinking of Mel Brooks today for some reason. Hope he’s feeling well. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 13/04/2026The last time I cheered for a Pope was when he made eating hot dogs on Friday okay. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 11/04/2026Diner breakfasts with friends are always the best meals of the day. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 11/04/2026Plans to build a moon settlement have been updated from earlier ones. They took out the Blockbuster Video Store. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 08/04/2026Congress. You have 2 weeks to get your asses back to DC and impeach, convict and lock him up. #Doyourjob 021
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Hoping TACO lives up to his reputation again tonight. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 29/03/20268 million people out yesterday for the love of liberty and democracy. Not one riot. No tear gas was used. No police were injured, and the Capitol wasn't stormed and looted. But we made our point. November is coming whether they want it or not. 020
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 18/03/2026Someone said to me that they'd like to see the ocean from "the other side," and I replied, "you'll drown down there." 011
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 11/03/2026Hey did anybody get their $2,000 back from Boo Boo yet? Just checking. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 06/03/2026This morning, I'm smiling knowing that when Kristi "Sure Shot" Noem woke up, it was with the stark and desperate realization that all she had left to look forward to was Corey Lewandowski 131
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 05/03/2026This is one of those days when I realize how little I've evolved as a member of my species. I just spent 15 minutes trying to pick up a pencil with my toes. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 01/03/2026March didn't come in as a lion or a lamb. It just sort of stood here looking confused. 230
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 27/02/2026Today I'm celebrating an unsung hero. Nicolas Appert, who invented a way to can fish in 1810. Without him, we'd be carrying loose tuna salad to work in our pants pockets. I salute you, Mr. Appert. #themoreyouknow 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 26/02/2026If I call a business and someone answers the phone, their chances of me hiring them go up by about 80%. If they are polite, add another 10% If they do a good job, they get another 9% I left off 1%, because I'm not happy unless I can bitch about something. 020
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 25/02/2026I made it through almost an hour of last night’s episode of “The Fool on the Hill.” 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 23/02/2026On the tariff refund. Cut me a check for $638,592. 45 and we’ll be square. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 22/02/2026In anticipation of Snowmageddon, officials have announce they are dispersing 1 carrot, 2 twigs and 12 rocks for emergency snowman building, effective immediately. #TheMoreYouSnow 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 21/02/2026Whenever the mail delivery person drives away from my house, my abandonment issues all rise to the surface. It's worse on Sunday, 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 21/02/2026I've questioned the existence of supreme beings with the exception of Diana Ross, Florence Ballard, and Mary Wilson. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 19/02/2026For those of you who find diversity in our society disturbing, consider this... There's at least a 147 different ways to make baba ganoush. So put that in your Pita and eat it. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 14/02/2026Say "I love you" on Valentine's day and then get drunk a month later on St. Patrick's day when you realize that person is bat shit crazy and you made a terrible mistake. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 14/02/2026It's Valentine's Day! When I set up a lawn chair in the Supermarket and watch the men scramble to get the last of the flowers, chocolate and greeting cards. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 09/02/2026In all honesty, even if the halftime show HAD been in English, he still wouldn’t have understood it. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 09/02/2026I heard he was pissed about the halftime show. 5 ketchup bottle night. Well done, Bad Bunny. 020
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 07/02/2026Thanks to Jeff Bezos for his courage in firing all that extra weight at the Washington Post. Without all those nosy reporters, we won't have to worry about Democracy Dying in Darkness. You have inspired me, Jeff, to become a cost cutting machine. So five minutes ago, I canceled my Prime account. 011
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 07/02/2026Wow, is it windy out there. I just saw Margaret Hamilton's tombstone go flying by. 030
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 05/02/2026Early in my career, I've been on shows so painful that I'd wished my DNR had kicked in. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 05/02/2026Proud to say that I haven’t missed missing a Super Bowl in 59 years. Hoping to keep my record intact this Sunday. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 30/01/2026Watching the courageous protesters in Minneapolis. At first, I thought they were film students who had just seen a screening of “Melania.” 020
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 23/01/2026I hope this storm isn’t described as a “once in a century storm.” We’ve had like three so far this century already. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 20/01/2026The inauguration was 1 year ago today. Thus began our endless supply of Last straws. 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 13/01/2026So there’s a new show called “Suddenly Amish,” Where people have become Amish. And yet I’m not allowed to be transgender. You people have issues, you know that? 000
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 12/01/2026I think Friday is the last day we can gracefully wish someone a Happy New Year without feeling like we've crossed the line. 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 12/01/2026So there's a movie coming out about Melania. I wonder who's playing Boris, Moose and Squirrel? 010
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 05/01/2026Will someone just name a star after this maniac and tell him that he’s master of the universe now? 100
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Aunt Julia says... When you're feeling low and down in the dumps, go down to the dumps and see what living there would be like. 000
Reposted by Julia ScottiPete Buttigieg @petebuttigieg.bsky.social · 03/01/2026It's an old and obvious pattern. An unpopular president - failing on the economy and losing his grip on power at home - decides to launch a war for regime change abroad. The American people don’t want to “run” a foreign country while our leaders fail to improve life in this one. 16414241412292
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 03/01/2026America...I am doing what I always do in times of turmoil and crisis. I'm making meatballs. 130
Julia Scotti @juliascotti1.bsky.social · 03/01/2026Remember that, kids…. The Marilyn Monroe Doctrines….are important doctrines. Maybe the most important doctrines. 010