iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/02/2026

Someone reminded me there is a here. I am not yet here exactly but I feel like it's not impossible anymore. I'm still healing and it's still up and down but there's more up than there is down. I'm tentatively trying to figure out how to come back to everywhere and everyone I've left. Here:

A black cap conure named Maggie who is swaddled in a white t-shirt with her eyes closed.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/07/2025

So much love to you! I hope we get to the "all the way healed" part FREAKING SOON 😆 💜🫂

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 29/07/2025

I do, yes! Especially since my energy has dwindled, those chapters are like bite sized and so perfect every day.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 29/07/2025

They truly are. They get almost as many cuddles as they want 😂 (Maggie would prefer to continue getting scritches and hugs instead of going to bed!)

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/07/2025

I love it so much I read it every October!

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/07/2025

I'm certain I can't fully update in 300 characters, but I did want to boop everyone. I have been wishing, quite frequently, that I had the ability to get back into this. But I'm still working through so many things. I'm tired of the "healing isn't linear" mantra, but it's excessively true. Flower:

A big bunch of fuchsia pink blossoms in a bunch on a single stem, with many large green leaves in the background. It's called "pigsqueak"!

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/07/2025

Thank you so much! 💜 I love that!

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Even I am sick of hearing myself complain! 😂 But of course that means I keep shrinking away from all my support systems, and I lose connection with people and I feel ever more isolated and alone WHICH DOESN'T HELP EITHER. Why couldn't I be an octopus instead? Anyway, sorry. Here's Maggie:

Maggie the black cap conure asleep in my hoodie sleeve. Only her head is sticking out, and her eye is closed.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

And also, all I have to say these days are depressing things! I'm struggling, I'm sick, I'm stuck, I'm a pincushion and bruised and scarred. I can't even dredge up a single cheery "but hey at least this thing is great!" sign off to end on an artificial high note so we can pretend I'm ok.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

I already lost almost all my gains thanks to pneumonia popping back up (it wasn't even something I caught fresh; it was just an opportunistic relapse after taking prednisone), and that's already devastating enough. So I just...can't know more. I can't do more. I can't see or hear more.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

It's been a really long slump for me. Previously I held out hope for successful treatment because I thought it would mean I would get to go back out into the world and be a part of things. But I'll never get so much better that I'll be able to catch a disease with no fallout. I'll lose everything.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

And if I poke my head up and get more details on exactly how this world has gone to shit, knowing all the intensely horrible things I'm going through now are for nothing...I won't survive. I know these things are happening. But looking at them dead in the eyes will kill only me, not them.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

But the truth is, all these treatments are as brutal as everyone warned me they would be, and healing is non-linear so I'm currently in a slump where I've lost all my gains and am scared all this will be for nothing, that this is just a treadmill of bad stuff to suffer through with no end.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

I tried reading here, but part of my recovery is managing all the things that will make me feel even more hopeless and helpless. As I subject myself to some of the most invasive, painful, and traumatizing treatments, I have to tell myself it will all be worth it when I'm done.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Thank you. All the zerbets. ❤️

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Reposted by Julie is a REAL BIRD

Margaret Mitchell @mmitchell.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

🪶 Happy Big Migratory Bird Day!! Today, if you can, spend some time making spaces around you more bird-friendly, and reporting birds you see & hear so scientists can know how bird populations are changing and migrating. Here’s how to do this!! 🧵 1/n

Colored drawing of a bunch of different shapes and sizes of birds, surrounding a pool of water with city skyscrapers behind them. A house is to their right, where a cat watches through a window dotted with white circles (which keep birds from smashing into the glass).
Bottom of image says “Shared Space: Creating Bird-friendly Cities and Communities”.
Art by Annamaria Savarino Drago of Mexico

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/05/2025

Trying to break the ice I've accidentally covered my account in. I'm not sure I am ready for social media yet. It's been a very rough seven months. I am told the total recovery time is more like 18 months. (And I'll likely need another surgery, so I'll have to reset the timer again!) Eh. Bird:

A spotted towhee poking out from behind a trunk of a camellia bush.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

I dunno, I miss subjecting everyone to my every ridiculous thought, and reading everyone else's much better thoughts, lol. Also I realize I over-shared on the old 🐦 app and thus could use it to look up when I did XYZ, like a diary 😂 Now everything is in the wind & forgotten! Oops. Niko's so good!

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

Brain power, I still have slightly more than before the surgery but I roused an old pneumonia from hibernation after using prednisone so I'm pretty foggy. Birds are ok - it's springtime so they're both hormonal and Maggie has so many feelings! I've been trying to get them outside every day:

Maggie the black cap conure and Niko the gold cap conure sitting on a spiral rope perch hung from a wooden beam in an outdoor structure with steel mesh on all sides. Both birds look pretty content to be outside.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

I'm doing... Very varied. It's been nearly seven months from the fusion and as promised, it's a roller coaster of gains and losses, and at present more losses than gains. I'm trying to both rest and be active, which is impossible. Lots of pain, but in the last couple of weeks slightly less...

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

It's been a minute 😭 (such a long minute in fact that the app lost all its permissions and logged me out so I never got any notifications, haha) As a present, please enjoy Niko using me as a tree to finish taking his bath.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

Likewise, and thank you! Here's a huge patch of stream violets!

A very large patch of little yellow violets, with some pink camellia flowers peeking in from the upper left corner

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

I hope the same for you! ❤️ Here's a bunny!

A cottontail rabbit sitting in a messy lawn with dandelions beside it

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

Miss you too. I frequently think about all my ethereal pals and wish I were in a place where I felt right about being on social media and saying all the things in my head. I think I'm waiting to have good news to share or something. Anyway, here's Niko and Maggie being lovebugs:

A gold cap conure leaning his face on my hand while looking lovingly at me

A black cap conure with her eyes closed, cuddled up to my chest with my hand over her back

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

I am working very hard on getting to okay! ❤️

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

I exist, under protest 😂❤️

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 30/04/2025

Apparently I big lied about getting notifications! The whole app just went AWOL on me. Just giving you lots of hugs right now because I'm sorry it has been so long! 🫂🫂🫂

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 04/12/2024

That is such a vivid way to put it, and I really feel for you. I've felt that way before as well at other times in my life, and I am so extremely sorry that's been your experience. How did things go on Monday? I have been like pancake batter for several days so I missed it. I hope it was okay. ❤️

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Oh my gosh a macaw. I'm so sorry. They have such powerful beaks and voices 😭 It must be extra frustrating when the bird isn't yours. A bird in the house should only happen with full commitment from everyone else in the house, or it can go really sideways. 😬 Do you need any tips on bird-life?

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

And also if you do ever have a need (or want) that I may be able to fill, please message me. I'm gonna leave these notifications on so if you do, I'll get the notification on my phone right away. I know I'm not better enough to do much but what I can do, I definitely will. ❤️

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

Oh my gosh I wish I could roll you up in a comfort burrito and give you everything you need and deserve. I'm so sorry you've been treated this way and experienced this injustice. You truly, TRULY deserve to be heard and believed and given the right tests and treatments. I hate this crappy system. 💔

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 28/11/2024

I think it might be. It's so hard to tell, only 8 weeks out. There's so many wild and extreme ups and downs. And growing bone is SO EXHAUSTING in a way I never could have imagined. But I have already seen a lot of improvements so I'm really hoping I get to keep them and make more. Still scared tho.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 16/11/2024

Oh my gosh I am so infuriated and sorry. The way you're being treated is not okay in any way and my heart hurts for you. I wish I could do something. Is there something? Because you deserve so much more. So, so freaking much more.

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 13/11/2024

It's so good to see you too! Yay! 🫂🫂🫂

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Reposted by Julie is a REAL BIRD

Carl T. Bergstrom @carlbergstrom.com · 11/11/2024

So, I really love acorn woodpeckers. 🪶

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 10/11/2024

I am mostly alive, ish! It hurts to use my phone for too long while wearing my collar but I expect eventually I'll get more muscles to do it more easily. I'm spending almost all my time and energy recovering from the fusion surgery. ❤️ Zerbets!

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 05/11/2024

NOT THE GLASSES THOUGH! Oh I would be so peeved. That that does sound hecking ROUGH. They don't x-ray all willy nilly. Glad you got prompt care. I've had good luck with my incision healing so I'll try to send you some of my newfound luck! 💜 Thank you for offering to listen. I may take you up on it!

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 05/11/2024

Thank you! We don't compare this shit in Chez Atwood! A nasty fall is nasty! Was it at least before the appointment so they could look you over?? I hope your recovery is completely linear, all steps forward, no steps back. 💜🫂

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 05/11/2024

Yeah, there's been a whole entire neurosurgery. I've been scared to talk about it online. It's been a month since the day of the surgery now. I won't know really exactly how it's going for me until six months in. How are you doing?

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Julie is a REAL BIRD @joolie.bsky.social · 05/11/2024

Hi there! I'm very up and down. The lows are so hard, they're just terrible. But the highs, I feel like a normal person almost. I'm nowhere near healed enough to feel all the way normal, but I can walk again, and that's amazing to me. Hope you're doing ok. 💜

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