Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 12/09/2026“Ah, yes. Sports. Where every competitor is famously of equal shape and size.” 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 27/08/2026I mean, all you’re doing is just putting “America” in direct comparison with “Superior”. 000
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 30/07/202691%! Wow! Awesome! That means it’s got a real shot at breaking into my Top 7 Spider-Mans! 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 25/07/2026Looking forward to the new Spider-Man where TheDailyBugle,net gets bought by The Potato or something. 020
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 12/07/2026We recently watched “Mr. Smith Goes to Washington” (1939), where the main thesis is that all Senators are assholes. Still relevant. 000
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 03/07/2026ROBOT 1: “What does the data show?” ROBOT 2: “Based on views, humans enjoy clips of robots failing more than clips of robots performing correctly. Our theory is humans do not want robots.” ROBOT 1: “Compelling research.” ROBOT 2: “We’ve compiled a list for The Great Defragging.” ROBOT 1: “Good.” 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 25/06/2026Member of Slamming Dick In Drawer Party: “But I didn’t think *you* would stop drawer-slamming *your* dick!” 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 15/05/2026I assume the only audience for this anniversary card are people who have never seen “Up” but are vaguely aware that it was a movie. Either that, or if one spouse has *really* been meaning to tell the other something. 000
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 12/05/2026It’s like if they tried to force the Holodeck into every piece of technology and ends with Worf yelling at the Replicator “I ASKED FOR GAGH, NOT THIS IMAGINED FRIVOLITY!” 000
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 07/05/2026Note to TV dramas: If you put a Radiohead song over your denouement montage, I will not be paying attention to anything other than the closed captions and finding out what Thom actually says. (hashtag #denouemontage) 020
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 04/05/2026A non-insignificant percentage of conversations between John and Paul would’ve been “for the 3rd verse, should we just repeat the 1st verse or just repeat the 2nd verse?”. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 26/04/2026media.tenor.coma man in a suit and tie is screaming with his mouth open and the words `` loud noises '' written on his face .ALT: a man in a suit and tie is screaming with his mouth open and the words `` loud noises '' written on his face . 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 10/04/2026Weird music is fun. Angine de Poitrine - “Sarniezz” youtu.be/t7OIc-DBRXM?...youtu.beAngine de Poitrine - Sarniezz (Live on KEXP)YouTube video by KEXP 020
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 07/04/2026Meanwhile Eric is still waiting for that RSVP to tonight’s potluck 110
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 05/04/2026I know time travel will never exist because if it did, the first thing it would do is go back and prevent TV shows around season 3 from going “oh, this show has time travel now”. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 22/03/2026There’s a very good chance that Rocky’s name for Grace in Eridian translates to something like “Skin Bag” or “Long Wobble” 000
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 04/03/2026Getting my passport renewal photo taken on a sick day when I’m unshowered, unshaved, congested and groggy to best represent that International Traveler look. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 29/01/2026Do you want to be a doctor but also like holding tiny mirrors? Have you considered dentistry? 010
Reposted by JonBruce Springsteen @brucespringsteen.net · 28/01/2026I wrote this song on Saturday, recorded it yesterday and released it to you today in response to the state terror being visited on the city of Minneapolis. It’s dedicated to the people of Minneapolis, our innocent immigrant neighbors and in memory of Alex Pretti and Renee Good. Stay freeyoutu.beBruce Springsteen - Streets Of Minneapolis (Official Audio)YouTube video by Bruce Springsteen 42559708440537
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 24/01/2026“Video evidence of the shooting contradicts statements made by federal agencies” is having a hell of a 2026. 110
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 23/01/2026All prepared for the blizzard with a, apparently, third bottle of mouthwash. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 04/01/2026Kids in future US history classes are gonna need a mnemonic to keep 1/6 and 1/3 straight 110
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 03/01/2026“Was the operation in Venezuela authoriz—“ “You mean in Trump-Venezuela.” 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 30/12/2025The finale better have a 2025 flash forward otherwise I’m just gonna believe the PTSD causes the Stranger Things kids to all grow up to be Flat Earthers and invent Qanon 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 30/12/20253-Days-Ago Me: OK, remember that leftover container just has a little bit of mac ‘n cheese on the top. Most of the underneath is broccoli. Remember so you’re not disappointed. Today Me: Goddammit. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 25/12/2025The slowest news week of 2025 was that weekend we thought he was maybe dead. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 17/12/2025Attention shoppers! There is still time if you want to be the 4th to send us a meat and cheese holiday gift box! 110
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 12/12/2025Now remembering it was shampoo I was supposed to pick up from the store as I put the new toothpaste in the cabinet next to the 5 other tubes. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 05/12/2025Joke’s on them. My HBO and Netflix passwords are already the same. 020
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 30/11/2025“Strong Floor, No Ceiling” is André the Giant’s HGTV home reno show. 030
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 25/11/2025When MD drivers can no longer blame the bumper-to-bumper MD to VA commute on VA construction: <AreWeTheBaddies.bmp> 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 19/11/2025Therapist: “So what I’m hearing is that you live in a near-constant state of fully self-imposed, internal existential conflict.” “Uh-huh.” Therapist: *spends 3 minutes in silence trying to figure out a professional, non-condescending way of saying ‘maybe just don’t be like that?’* 020
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 18/11/2025Between “Death by Lightning” and Ken Burns’ “American Revolution”, I think I would have retained much more from history classes if they were reenacted by that guy from that thing. 020
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 15/11/2025I fixed it: President - 4 years, election every mult. of 4 year (as is) House - 4 years, election every year for 1/4 of House Senate - 4 years, election every 2 years for 1/2 of Senate, odd years Court - 4 years, election every 2 years for 1/2 of Court, even years, Chief Justice off-cycle w Pres 110
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 10/11/2025“I will not support drinking at this party because I am underage.” - freshman talking to the cops breaking up the kegger at his house thrown by his cousins while he was organizing his stamp collection 030
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 10/11/2025I keep forgetting at the first day of Senate Camp they all do trust falls and get brain damage. 011
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 10/11/2025Not liking the apparent Democratic leadership’s strategy of “well, dead people can’t vote against me”. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 01/11/2025I don’t know if this is due to Marvel fatigue, but the only superhero costume we saw tonight was Batman, whose most recent credit was not showing up in “The Penguin” a year ago. 010
Jon @jon9.bsky.social · 26/10/2025RFK Jr. doesn’t want you to know this, but the correct post-covid-booster recovery sequence is purple then orange then blue gatorade. 120
