John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 09/10/2026I'd imagine that Spain and many South American countries would probably say 'yes' if asked to relabel Artificial Intelligence as Super lntelligence 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 08/10/2026Time-consuming and almost exhausting that as you get older, the further you have to scroll down to find the correct age bracket in online form dropdown lists 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 07/10/2026Nice that Dennis the Menace and Minnie the Minx can cosplay as each other so easily 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 04/10/2026Impressed to see that the latest issue of Hello! magazine has a supplement on the ideas of Wilde, Swinburne and others in their movement 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 03/10/2026Yoga's relaxing in many ways, but for a dog owner it's particularly good to be able to walk the dog without having to check your pockets for poo bags beforehand 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 30/09/2026Really have to stop going onto X and putting 'Not interesting' and 'False' under all the owner's posts and giggling to myself 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 29/09/2026Bit of a pity that it always seems out of the ordinary when someone uses the word 'quotidian' 001
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 28/09/2026After a certain age, it starts to feel vaguely insulting when people trot out the aphorism that only the good die young 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 25/09/2026With its abundance of potential stopping points to correct mistakes or take a break for a cuppa, there must be quite a rivalry amongst voice artists to get the audiobook job every time there's a new Jack Reacher 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 24/09/2026Spotted this poster in the wild(e) and couldn't help thinking it looks a bit ragged, perhaps appropriately 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 23/09/2026I'd probably be a bit put out if l was a DJ on a radio station where the marketing was all about 'more music' 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 22/09/2026"The last temptation is the greatest treason: to wait 'til your partner's out and binge a newly-dropped season" - Murder In The Cathedral, TS Eliot (2026 updated edition) 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 21/09/2026Until someone comes up with an elegant rhyme for 'light bulb', l guess we're stuck with lyrics about moths being drawn to flames 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 19/09/2026Didn't realise Kristen Scott Thomas was playing Mike Tyson in her next stage role 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 18/09/2026"And you're sure this is an officially licensed item of Count Binface merchandise?" 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 17/09/2026"John? Olivia? We love what you're doing with the song, but could you sing the last word more off-key, please? Kind of like a squawk, really - less 'nights' and more 'nye-yights'? Thanks, darlings - it's just to make sure the song becomes a karaoke favourite in years to come, whatever that means..." 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 16/09/2026Tragically, in the early days of mass manufacturing, being good at matchmaking probably meant a bit more of a struggle to be kissed 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 15/09/2026If Superman's rocket had landed in France, l guess he would have insisted on being called Chan-El 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 13/09/2026Not so sure forgetful people will find this useful 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 12/09/2026By my reckoning, if the cardboard cores in toilet rolls keep expanding in diameter at the current rate, by 2068 the hole in the middle will be bigger than the roll itself 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 10/09/2026The small print bit in a lot of podcast ads now is '18+ terms and conditions apply", which seems an insanely broad range of numbers 010
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 09/09/2026Want to replace my Fossil watch with a Diesel one, so l think I'll just bury it in the ground and wait 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 07/09/2026On due reflection, l think I'm now in my 'Not in an era' era 001
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 04/09/2026I'll wager M&S don't send vehicles with that slogan on the side on any route that involves a customs check 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 03/09/2026I like to sit in coffee shops while l write - it makes me feel in touch with other people, plugged into all the variety and possibilities of human life, and inspires me to push my imagination in all possible directions. So this next poem is called 'Coffee shop girl with the nose ring' 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 02/09/2026Reading an Andy Warhol biography which reproduces his death certificate - can't help feeling the Manhattan authorities should have printed it in a 3x3 grid of alternating Red, Green and Blue 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 01/09/2026Feels like dating Elves in Tolkien's Rivendell would be pretty unbearable, really - "is not the compatibility that is lacking not in fact the most intimate?" and stuff like that 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 31/08/2026Trust your money to Nationwide, where the Blood-red sun always rises over the windowless house of death 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 28/08/2026As the saying goes: if you can't say something nice about somebody, then you'll probably be right at home on X 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 27/08/2026Always think the logo looks like a slightly sad domino mask, as might be worn to a party with (ahem) an 'Eyes Wide Shut' aesthetic 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 26/08/2026BREAKING NEWS: 'Memes designed to scare people can sometimes scare people' shock www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...bbc.co.ukViral Cat in the Hat TikTok trend sparks fake videos and real fearThe social media posts have prompted police forces in Ireland and the UK to issue statements that the images are fake. 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 25/08/2026If vinyl hadn't made a comeback, l guess cinema reviews would now be referring to music cues as laser shines 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 24/08/2026Behind the scenes 'spilling of tea' usually suggests Content Creators aren't particularly content after all 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 23/08/2026- Good evening! (Pause for applause) - Hello, [name of city]! Howyadoin? (Smile and nod until applause dies out) Okay, so that's the first two minutes of my Netflix comedy special all sorted, now l just need to write the other 54 minutes 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 22/08/2026Feels like things would have gone very differently in the 1980s if, instead of a Satanic Panic, a concerted effort had been made to label it as a 'Demonic Frolic' 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 21/08/2026This request from a pack of sausages strikes me as being both (a) a slightly odd, if admirably direct, sexual demand and (b) alarmingly in contravention of current fire safety guidelines. Consequently, l shall not be following the instruction. 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 20/08/2026Drug Baron = Bad Drug Lord = Bad Drug Czar = Good ...Very confusing, the narcotics heirarchy. 021
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 17/08/2026l was into his stuff before everyone else got into it - mind you, back then, he was known as Pre Malone 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 16/08/2026Sometimes l wonder how different my life would have been if l'd never decided to watch It's A Wonderful Life every Christmas 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 15/08/2026The spirit medium says the squeaking sounds l sometimes hear from my chimney are the ghost of a Victorian-era urchin who got trapped up there and perished. They also said this is so common, it's the origin of the name for beloved children's TV character Sweep. 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 14/08/2026Strange that we use the number of people who refute the existence or occurrence of something as the unit for the sturdiness of tights 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 13/08/2026I hear that scientists did a test on a urinal and found it contained traces of 14 different types of peanut 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 12/08/2026l had my phone with me, so l was able to capture candid footage of the famous K-Pop boyband at Bratislava airport - stay tuned for my BTS BTS BTS footage 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 09/08/2026- Why aren't the Matins bells ringing? - I think Jacques was on the rota. He might have overslept. - Okay, I want you to get some local children together, and get them to sing a song about how he needs to wake up and do his job. - I'm not sure that will work. - It will if they sing it in a round. 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 08/08/2026If you hear the phrase 'lived experience' and think that (linguistically and logically) it suggests there's such a thing as 'unlived experience', you'd be right; for most of us, it can be found in the Biography section of the nearest bookshop 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 07/08/2026Peanuts used to trigger a negative reaction in me when l was younger, but as l got older I've come to appreciate the interplay between the underlying melancholy and Schultz's deft linework 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 06/08/2026Isthay andbray amenay ustmay ebay aay okejay ybay uderay ansfay ofay ackslangbay, urelyshay? 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 05/08/2026I like the way The Devil Wears Prada 2 swipes the action movie trope of handing the protagonist a sexual partner as a reward for saving the day 000
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 02/08/2026Coincidentally, the same thing that girl at college said about the mixtape l spent hours making for her 010
John Soanes @johnsoanes.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Mind you, they'll have to wait at the Collect counter to pick it up like the rest of us www.bbc.co.uk/news/article... 000