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John Alton

@john-alton.bsky.social

193 followers 285 following 638 posts

Liberty and prosperity.

Posts Replies Media

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 5h

Also something like ten or 100 times more likely to be shot at their desks than compete with/against a trans athlete.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 17h

HE'S CRAZY HE'S CRAZY HE'S CRAZY Thank you for coming to my TED talk

Reposted by John Alton

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 17h

HE'S CRAZY HE'S CRAZY HE'S CRAZY Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 17h

HE'S CRAZY HE'S CRAZY HE'S CRAZY Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Gag columns don’t often do it for me, but this one is great

Reposted by John Alton

Alexandra Petri @petridishes.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

they call me Amazon drone because I just made a strange delivery to the pool www.theatlantic.com/newsletters/...

theatlantic.com

Hi, I’m Your New Press Secretary, and It’s My First Time Reading Words Out Loud

A very uncomfortable 14 minutes

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Wasting your time covering that drivel. Maybe some WH reporters will be so bored that they will do some … reporting.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Judge sez: Hey leopard, stop eating faces.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Judge sez: Hey leopard, stop eating faces.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

I do not like liars. I do not understand people who do.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Clumsy trees, I guess

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

I’ve seen a lot of balks, but never before the ump called it.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

Quick somebody remind the Orange One that what he observes while he dozes is a dream.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Poor flack, I bet they gargle Borax after saying this shit.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Poor flack, I bet they gargle Borax after saying this shit.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I think there’s usually less swing between parties and more swing between voting and not voting. Of course, gross criminality, incompetence and treason can change that.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

I think there’s usually less swing between parties and more swing between voting and not voting. Of course, gross criminality, incompetence and treason can change that.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Yeah putting, say, Sam Altman in an orange jumpsuit would solve these problems. Wanna be a bro, gotta do time like a bro.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Would remind him of the extra 40 kilos he carries.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

Who the hell would want his sartorial endorsement? It’s not like Brad Pitt in Wranglers, y’know

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 10/10/2026

That photo is HOF stankfaces

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Natalie changes his diapers. Dirty job, but you know he’s not gonna do it.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Natalie changes his diapers. Dirty job, but you know he’s not gonna do it.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

Looking forward to who gets next year’s FIFA prize

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

The Grand Old Pederast

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

The Grand Old Pederast

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Nice deke with the XP. Thought I’d see a runback

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

Agreed, try that unity sh!t next Thanksgiving. There are millions of families who can tell you how that’ll go.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

I’ve been looking into the policy differences between Republicans and AfD. I think it boils down to whom each party hates more among Blacks, Jews and Muslims.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Because real dogs would bite them.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Because real dogs would bite them.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

So the Trumpies have stolen $1.5 TRILLION and refuse to give it back unless we vote for them. Maybe some hard-working journalist can ask a Republican about this brazen theft.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

So the Trumpies have stolen $1.5 TRILLION and refuse to give it back unless we vote for them. Maybe some hard-working journalist can ask a Republican about this brazen theft.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

10 minutes reading Megan McArdle is a waste of 15 minutes, thanks to the self-recrimination afterwards.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Looks to me like another impeachable offense - using federal funds contrary to how they were appropriated.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Looks to me like another impeachable offense - using federal funds contrary to how they were appropriated.

Reposted by John Alton

AW Sylwester @aw-sylwester.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Yeah every time I use my (non Google) password app, Google asks me if I want to use theirs. Unfortunately I’m old, so I remember when stuff like that was an open and shut antitrust violation.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Yo! I’m down wid dat!

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Like Dumb, he thinks Super ends with a B.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

Like Dumb, he thinks Super ends with a B.

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John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

That there’s an impeachable offense: failure to faithfully carry out the nations laws.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

That there’s an impeachable offense: failure to faithfully carry out the nations laws.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

You are acting like the sources are talking because they are doing reporters some sort of favor. They are not. They want the information published and will find someone who will do that. And if they know they will be outed if they screw a journalist, They won’t screw the journalist anymore.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

And how’s that working out?

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

www.cnn.com/2026/09/18/m... Sounds like another failure to faithfully execute the nation’s laws …

Trump says he’s ‘banning’ CNN, MS NOW and Politico from the White House | CNN Business

President Donald Trump claimed Friday that he is “banning” CNN, MS NOW and Politico “from the White House,” though there was no immediate indication his administration had taken steps to follow throug...

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

Talking in his sleep now.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Yeah, this kinda sounds like failure to faithfully execute the nation’s laws, but what do I know?

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

This jamoch seems to think we don’t already spend thousands of times more protecting the rich vs. the poor. He’s upset that the rich don’t get the table scraps, too.

John Alton @john-alton.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

Find the people in that movie who AREN’T breaking the law. (There are at least two.)