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joe 💦🥩

@joesmith.bsky.social
276 followers 255 following 497 posts

I write horror and comedy. If you’re reading this, send pics of your dogs.

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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 06/08/2026
After listening once my buddy texted me and said “I think this is their best album.” It’s perfect.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 22/07/2026
Me when I show up to Olive Garden without my ID
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 30/05/2026
Crazy to see LOVEBÜRGER dropped out of the Freedom 250 concert lineup
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 30/04/2026
[guy who has listened to a lot of The Raveonettes but hasn’t heard this album yet voice]
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
My boss just stopped me on my way out of work to ask me who the guy hanging from my rearview mirror is. The guy:
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
My mental health has been so bad the last 2 years that I’m surprised I’m here to even say this right now. Part of the reason was i was so unhappy with work, and it took so much time away from the things that actually made me happy. Starting a new job Monday, so hopefully things will be better!
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 21/02/2026
“You should be able to look at a *little* porn on the severed floor.” Severance now showing on @corncobtv.bsky.social
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Haha happy to help!
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
😂😂🫡🫡
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Shirt brother!
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Watching Succession on @corncobtv.bsky.social was the right choice
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 20/02/2026
Haven’t been here in a while because everything sucks but I’m gonna pretend it doesn’t and just go with it
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 07/01/2026
I realized I’ve watched @rifftrax.com Samurai Cop way too many times when I saw this pic of the dog killer and immediately thought of Joe Marshall
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 01/01/2026
Happy New Year from the Mind Flussy #StrangerThings
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
Vecna using Will’s secret against him like #StrangerThings
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 16/11/2025
My boy Jesse Korman just released his short film “Wolf In Crown” on YouTube with @elliottfullam.bsky.social from the Terrifier franchise, and it’s sick. Check it! youtu.be/tssVw64NtNk?...
youtu.be
WOLF IN CROWN - Watch Surreal Horror Short Starring Terrifier 2 & Terrifier 3 Actor Elliott Fullam!
YouTube video by Bloody Disgusting Horror
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 14/11/2025
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 08/11/2025
100% what I’d see at the end. #ITYSL
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 07/11/2025
Went to a fucking vampire museum today so that was cool as shit.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 05/11/2025
Let’s go @mikiesherrill.bsky.social!!!!
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 04/11/2025
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 01/11/2025
JD with an interesting costume choice this year
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘛𝘪𝘮 𝘙𝘰𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘴. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 26/09/2025
Hell yeah Aaron Eckhart trying to get the earth spinning again
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Easily the best show I’ve seen in a while, and one of the best stories in the entire Alien franchise. I’ll probably be watching at least 2 more times through before we get season 2
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
Had an opportunity to see the first episode, yall are going to love this show.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/09/2025
Oh shit gonna have to take a ride down for this!
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 26/08/2025
My new guard dog.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 21/08/2025
Not sure who follows me will get any part of this reference except for like 2 of you, buutttttt I 100% think the new Hot Mulligan single belongs on a Tony Hawk Pro Skater soundtrack, and I mean that as a really good fucking thing.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 20/08/2025
Laying in bed looking at every radioactive shrimp meme
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 31/07/2025
“I herald his beginning, I herald your end, I’m gonna fuck this couch first though.”
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 16/07/2025
Is his job “papers?”
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 10/07/2025
This might have actually been me in the kublai khan tx pit
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 24/06/2025
🫡🫡
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 23/06/2025
lol I see my old tweet from my banned Twitter account is making the rounds again. Honestly, love to see it.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
media.tenor.com
a man in a suit and tie stands in a crowd
ALT: a man in a suit and tie stands in a crowd
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 19/06/2025
Bro is knocked out!
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 31/05/2025
Guys, this is a good one #BringHerBack
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
Definitely told the Pacers to suck his sack.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 26/05/2025
Just got out of #Friendship and Tim Robinson is at his most unhinged yet, and we all benefit from it. Theater was packed, was such a ridiculous experience. Highly recommend!
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Reposted by joe 💦🥩
Bran 9 From Outer Space @bransonreese.bsky.social · 21/05/2025
Made some Magic: The Gathering cards
This one's called Crimsport the Unprepared. Just takes a single island manna. Creature-Gnome. Crimsport is not ready and so he may not be played at any time. Flavor text reads "Now where did I put those clothes?" -Crimsport
The drawing is of a nude gnome looking for his clothes in his little tree home. 1/2Skeleton Pizza. Two swamp manna. Sorcery. Your opponent gets hurt badly. Flavor text reads "Mama Mia" -Anonymous. The drawing is of a pizza's skeleton on a plate in an Italian restaurant Stinky. Three uncolored and one forest manna. Creature-Beast. This guy's got trample. When Stinky enters the battlefield your opponent has to apologize to you. Flavor text reads "We hate Stinky" -The President. Drawing is sort of a weird brontosaurus snake kaiju h touch beset upon by helicopters. 4/4Blessing of the Priest. Eight uncolored manna and one plains manna. Sorcery-Instant. Everybody -including you- loses. The cops are on their way. Flavor text reads "Remind me not to receive his blessing." -Bartolome The Agnostic. Drawing is of a catholic priest putting his hand towards the camera as nefarious white energy flies at you.
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
The new season of The Bear gonna be interesting #ChicagoPope
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
“Hello. My name is Pope Leo XIV. You killed my predecessor. Prepare to die” — new pope to JD Vance
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 08/05/2025
#Knicks
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joe 💦🥩 @joesmith.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
Mine aren’t gonna be the most popular or mainstream choices, but there some of my favorites.
American football — lp2Chromeo — adult contemporary Toro y moi — hole erth White chapel — hymns in dissonance
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