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Joanna ✅ Theiss

@joannatheiss.com
1.4K followers 844 following 552 posts

Writer of weird things sitting with a cat in Washington, DC she/her www.joannatheiss.com

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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 07/04/2026
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024...
Excerpt from Guardian article about outcome of 2024 U.S. Presidential election. "White women still voting for the Republican candidate." Although women as a whole have historically voted for Democrats, white women have not. Instead, over the last 72 years, a plurality of white women have voted for the Democratic candidate only twice, in 1964 and 1996.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 07/04/2026
Got excited when I found the first instance of a woman appearing in the Congressional Record, in 1916. Until I realized that she was a white supremacist and the speech was about the value of slavery.
Yellowed paper with text, the title page of a speech delivered by Mildred Lewis Rutherford, Historian General of the United Daughters of the Confederacy" titled "Wrongs of History Righted" which was included in the Congressional Record in 1916.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 15/03/2026
Last stanza of Virginia Hamilton Adair's poem, "Buckroe, After the Season, 1942"
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 24/02/2026
No cheating: your last saved pick of a celebrity is your therapist. Of all the characters from "Love, Actually," she's not the most problematic
Kiera Knightley opening the door in a scene from the movie "Love Actually" where her husband's weird friend declares his love in a series of signs.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 10/02/2026
You don't get one of these by being shy about your accomplishments
Clear glass plaque for the very fake "Top 50 Lawyers" award. Text: Presented to: Lewis Small America's Top 50 Lawyers Personal Injury Lawyer Pennsylvania
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 13/01/2026
Things are largely shitacious today except this is not: a Best Small Fictions nomination from @doesithavepockets.bsky.social along with these lovely writers!!
Coastal background with tree and words announcing Does It Have Pockets nominations for Best Small Fictions
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 11/12/2025
My bank sent me an email addressed to "Mrs. Theiss" and you know I sent a strongly worded message back
Image of Rosie the Riveter not allowing an overpaid CEO call her "Mrs." when she obviously uses her maiden name.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 15/10/2025
Very jealous of my printer
Top of a dusty home printer. The small rectangular screen reads "Deep Sleep"
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 06/10/2025
Me: my back hurts all the time, it makes no sense Also me:
Red stick figure with severely bad posture
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 11/07/2025
Bird cam footage reminds me to be grateful that there's not a camera three inches from my face while I'm cracking sunflower seeds between my teeth
A mourning dove sitting in a pile of seeds, looking slightly regretful about being on camera
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 12/06/2025
Throwback to June 2017. I feel so naive to think that treason would be the worst of his offenses
Me (white woman in Nats hat) holding a sign defining Treason, per U.S. consitution, as "adhering to their enemies, giving them aid & comfort"
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 01/06/2025
Happy Pride Month to Grimace, too. He's not the mascot we want, but he's the one we deserve 🤣
SNL sketch in which Grimace comes out as bisexual. A very muscular, shirtless Grimace surrounded by other familiar characters from McDonald's, including the Hamburglar.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 28/05/2025
Except for the ones in my heart
From submittable, an empty grid with the words "No submissions found" instead of writing submissions
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 10/05/2025
Does a fresh haircut cancel out a fresh literary rejection? I think so
Woman with chin-length hair in front of glass doors, smarting a little from a rejection on a short story
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 25/04/2025
My Girl (1991)
Movie poster from "My Girl," in which two small blonde child actors laugh together, with no clue that one of them will be dead of bees by the end of the movie
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 17/03/2025
Keep going. "Do Boycotts Work? As Target’s Traffic Declines, Tesla And Others See Shifts With Consumers" by Doug Melville @forbes.com www.forbes.com/sites/dougme...
Quote text: The markets are taking notice. Target’s stock price (NYSE: TGT) is down 24%—from 137.40 on Jan. 24, the day Target cut its programs—to 104.70 on March 15. Within that time frame, the stock is down 10% from when the 40-day kickoff began on March 5, accelerating an ongoing downward trend in its stock price since late 2024. To top it off, The City of Riviera Beach Police Pension Fund filed a class-action lawsuit against Target, its CEO, and board members, claiming they misled investors about the financial risks of Target’s DEI and Environmental, Social, and Governance initiatives. The plaintiffs are alleging that Target downplayed the risks of consumer backlash and boycotts stemming from the changes.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 06/03/2025
They don't want protest because they know protest works
Attack on civil rights protesters in Selma, Alabama. On this day in 1965, state troopers used nightsticks and tear gas to attack American civil rights activists as they crossed a bridge in Selma, Alabama, during their attempted march to the state capitol in Montgomery. Black and white image of protestors holding American flags.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 03/03/2025
Mood
Me at the Museum of Illusions, halfway between a ladder going down to infinity and a ladder going up to infinity
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 13/02/2025
Here's my actual cat!
An adorable brown tabby looking out of a window
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 18/01/2025
Freedom #PeoplesMarch
Sign from the People’s March that says Freedom to Exist without Discrimination
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 18/01/2025
Person holding sign that says Fight Fascism with Art at DC People’s March
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 18/01/2025
Dang people showed UP #PeoplesMarch
At the Lincoln Memorial with the People’s March. Tons of people in pussy hats!
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 09/12/2024
A rainy Monday in December calls for brevity Aguas/Waters by Miguel Avero (trans. @jcolson.bsky.social), Night Beast by @ruthjoffre.bsky.social and The Woman’s Part by @jmgatford.bsky.social
Three short books arrayed on a wicker table (titles and authors in skeet)
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 05/12/2024
The robots are here, and they demand our responsiveness
Obviously fake profile for "businesswoman" who is "here for a good relationship for who is really responsive"
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 05/12/2024
I have never successfully lifted n’ peeled
Top of a jar of vitamins with a sealed top that says “Lift n’ Peel”
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 01/12/2024
Obsessed with making the rows line up on each side of the box The recipient will neither notice nor care, but I must get it right 😤
Box with square mosaic collage in yellows and blues
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 28/11/2024
He read The Sittaford Mystery, by Agatha Christie. Perfect listening for a rainy day in late November.
Cover of Agatha Christie's The Sittaford Mystery. Purple hues with a mansion looming up from the fog.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 27/11/2024
Berobed men only
Men’s restroom sign with the stick figure man appearing to be wearing a long skirt
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 25/11/2024
Honored to have my flash tip included at Vancouver Flash Fiction. Thanks @karenschauber.bsky.social!
"Flash fiction is like a fabulous party guest who shows up late, causes chaos, then skips out the back door. Cut out the exposition and the tidy conclusion of your story and keep the spilled drinks, the kitchen fire, the sloppy kiss. Leave the reader short of breath and asking, "Who was that and when can I see her again?" Joanna Theiss, Washington, DC @VancouverFlashFiction
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 22/11/2024
One man is responsible for me hearing "heart attack" and mentally following up with "ack ack ack ack ack."
Image of seventies-era Billy Joel, not at all apologetic
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 18/11/2024
She found the light
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 16/11/2024
Florida selfie
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 15/11/2024
Turning our real-world pain into fiction is “mature.” I for one am relieved
Wikipedia entry for sublimation (psychology) in which it is described as a mature type of defense mechanism!
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 13/11/2024
In Adams Morgan, clumps of dog hair left out for the birds to build their nests. Does this mean people are basically good
Two piles of white dog hair on a shrub. Adorable.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 13/11/2024
Good Morning, Lovely Writers May you approach your writing with the positive intensity of a shirtless bronze
Bronze statue of a New Deal worker. Shirtless, loose trousers and floppy hat. Leaning on an axe. Very handsome. Bi vibes.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 11/11/2024
This fifty-word fella got a Puschart nomination! Thank you, Blink-Ink!
After the Funeral
Between recipes for stews and casseroles, I find a red-brown penny taped to a slip of paper. I picture you young, taking time from a sticky child or a boiling pot to fasten it there. Come back. Tell me what you were wishing for.
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 11/11/2024
It’s Cat Photo o’clock EST
Beautiful cat on cheap blanket wishing the photographer would turn off the lights
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Joanna ✅ Theiss @joannatheiss.com · 17/11/2023
How weird is this stock image? That's all. Now back to writing.
Businessman in a hardhat with his fist raised in manic elation
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