Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 01/10/2026Health insurance, 401ks, planning a funeral are nothing in comparison to the adulthood sadness of telling your own self you're not getting ice cream because you have ice cream at home 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 24/09/2026I was afraid I was having a medical emergency until I realized I'm just wearing an uncomfortable bra. 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 01/09/2026I love how when I'm browsing for something to watch and see a show like "The Dumb Bitch Fart Murders" and Netflix is like "we think you'll LOVE this! 👍🏼👍🏼" 100
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 17/08/2026When I get on a subway car with no AC, I stay on it because I feel like I deserve it 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 17/08/2026My dentist started calling me "Bud" and I've never felt weirder about anything in my life 120
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 01/08/2026Me on Subway Takes talking into the little metrocard mic: I think you should be allowed to push people down the stairs 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 17/07/2026Bank: your verification code is 77854321 Me: "I GOT A TEEEEEEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 13/07/2026Evan C at Geico knows the explosion emoji means satisfaction 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 08/07/2026Whenever I hear "will the driver of a gray Honda Accord please move your vehicle before it's towed" I get very worried that I somehow blacked out, bought a Honda Accord, parked it at the airport, and forgot about it. 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 07/07/2026I know that a cruel punishment awaits me in the afterlife because I have hit a lightning bug with my car. 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 03/07/2026I just called the airport the porty zorty and I think it's gonna catch on 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 13/06/2026Was it an air conditioner drip or bird poop??????????? 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 01/05/2026Because you know I'm all about that plain, bout that plain, no maple (my oatmeal song) 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 29/04/2026Moles and beavers are basically the same thing right 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 10/03/2026When you're on your way to a restaurant do you say the name of the restaurant out loud over and over again until you arrive at the restaurant? Great, me too. 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 31/01/2026I hate when I force myself to try to be friendly to my neighbors and they ignore me. Look buddy, I could've absolutely obliterated you in a not saying hi contest if I knew that's what we were playing. 140
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 30/12/2025Sometimes I think someone is much younger than me and then they go and say something like "snakes on a plane" 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 15/12/2025My Jingle Bell Rock take is not enough songs anymore go ba dum dump dump 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 12/12/2025Dropping stuff wouldn't suck so bad if you didn't have to bend down and pick it up 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 11/12/2025I one day hope to find a love as pure as the love between Wyna Liu and frickin homophones!!!!!!!! Am I right ladies???????? 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 07/12/2025I walked past a bar with a bunch of coats hanging up and I thought "How nice. They're having a coat drive." Then I realized it was simply a coat rack. 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 05/12/2025It finally happened. I saw a shirt I really wanted and it was for dogs. 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 25/11/2025There's a gun store in my hometown called Four Guns and their slogan is "we believe everyone should have at least four guns" 020
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 15/11/2025Whenever a Trader Joe's cashier says what I'm buying is delicious it's like stop looking at my groceries you pervert 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 08/11/2025There's a section of my closet known to locals as The Sweater Pit. 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 05/11/2025I know a grocery store playing Lisa Loeb hates to see me coming 020
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 01/11/2025It's the one night of the year you're allowed to walk around saying "bustin' makes me feel good!" 020
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 14/10/2025Stairs are crazy. My face is next to a stranger's butt. 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 13/10/2025I know I have pretty privilege because I've never been hit by a car. 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 13/10/2025I just remembered the time I briefly dated a guy who worked late hours at a restaurant. He said he was only free "after midnight." I said, "Like the Eric Clapton song?" He said, "I don't know what you're talking about." He ghosted me. 100
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 12/10/2025Looking back at my notes: Idea: horror movie about how museums are boring Please don't steal this idea 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 31/08/2025Remember this day. The day a woman at Texas Roadhouse said I was perfect. 120
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 31/08/2025I love seeing every single member of a family on their phone at the same time 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 04/08/2025I'm the kind of person people feel like they can be their true selves around and it's a constant nightmare. Reel some of that back in. 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 01/08/2025I love how the instagram algorithm will serve me an account called something like tiny_baby_cocaine_sluts and then I'll click and see every person I've ever known already follows it. 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 18/07/2025If anyone ever says "it's not that deep" to me I'll put them in a grave 010
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 17/07/2025I'm sad I don't work in an office anymore because I would be taking every opportunity to ask people "can I pull you for a chat?" 000
Joanna Borns @joannaborns.bsky.social · 06/07/2025I don't think people should mess with dinosaurs 000
