Sign in

Joanie

@joanieccc.bsky.social
14 followers 52 following 96 posts

40 ☆ Enby ☆ Ace ☆ Huge Derp ☆ This is a Shitshow Somehow this turned into a page where I just cry and vent about life...

PostsRepliesMedia
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 14/10/2026
When I think of what I wish for in love, my first thought is, "That's not real. Real love isn't like fiction." Then I think, "Well if 'real love' is anything like what I've experienced, I'd rather die miserable and alone." But it doesn't stop me from wanting, and it makes me feel so unlovable.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 14/09/2026
"Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it – to be fed so much love I couldn't take any more. Just once.” "Norwegian Wood" by Haruki Murakami
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 18/08/2026
"Now I am quietly waiting for the catastrophe of my personality to seem beautiful again, and interesting, and modern." "Meditations in an Emergency" by Frank O’Hara
001 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 13/08/2026
"It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late." “The Trouble with Being Born” by Emil Cioran
000 0
Reposted by Joanie
あたり @umekakipee.bsky.social · 15/07/2025
差し入れに貼ったりちょっとだけ無配にしてたシールです 貰ってくださった方ありがとうございます〜🪽
0276 27
Reposted by Joanie
あたり @umekakipee.bsky.social · 18/08/2025
らくがきです
06422 64
Reposted by Joanie
あたり @umekakipee.bsky.social · 20/07/2026
らくがきです
07618 76
Reposted by Joanie
とーり @too0ri.bsky.social · 25/07/2026
179の高身長なのに童顔で、opaiが大きくて、男前だけど、かわいい…頭がおかしくなる……
031 3
Reposted by Joanie
とーり @too0ri.bsky.social · 01/08/2026
…!?
05912 59
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 24/07/2026
Dear men: nothing screams "I'm insecure about my dick size" like making your vehicle as loud as possible.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 08/07/2026
"Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die."
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 01/07/2026
I want to make something beautiful, just once in my life. Something with meaning. Something I'm actually proud of. Something good enough that even other people would like it. But I'm fucking terrified I never will. No matter how hard I try, I just keep disappointing myself.
100 1
Reposted by Joanie
ゆに @sake62.bsky.social · 13/03/2026
曰向くん🤕
018763 187
Reposted by Joanie
miyu @broccolimiyu.bsky.social · 20/03/2026
これは初めて動かせて嬉しかった日向くん こっちにあげてなかったから見てほしいよ😁
0295 29
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 12/11/2025
Ever since she told me "then do it," I have moments where my brain becomes obsessed with wondering what people would say about me at my funeral. I hate it. I can't believe I still stayed after that. I can't believe I let her convince me that HER reaction at the time was MY fault.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 02/11/2025
I thought a nice, simple, short conversation could prove that there was still hope for this friendship. But you just wanted another excuse to berrate me, assume the worst of me, and act like you've never done anything wrong. Happy Fucking Anniversary.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 22/10/2025
MOOD 🤣
010 1
Reposted by Joanie
じゃこ @osyymo.bsky.social · 18/07/2025
狛日
015835 158
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
I miss talking about silly shit. I miss being asked my opinion. I miss being heard. Hobestly, I haven't had that in years.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 14/07/2025
Trying to live on less than $1000 a month in Massachusetts is fucking hell.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
This has got to be one of the worst depressive days I've had in a long time. I can't stop thinking about how incredibly bleak, lonely, and uncomfortable the rest of my life is shaping up to be. Originally I had a huge post written up on this, but I've decided against it...
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 05/07/2025
I hate this internalized whiplash. I desperately want to be doing something creative, but because I'm in a position where I can't do shit, I.mull over it for so long that I end up getting down on myself for the probability that I'll hate anything I make.
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
Thanks Rae 💖
010 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
I wish I'd never asked her out; maybe then I'd still have my best friend.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 04/07/2025
Pros to bsky: My ex isn't active on here... I think. Cons to bsky: Even if I were to detail out every depressed thought in my head and beg for help, I'm pretty sure no one would say anything. Are my friends just missing my posts every time? Or am I too much? Fuck if I know. 🫠
010 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
I just wish fucking *anyone* would acknowledge that they can hear me...
010 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
I'm so tired of getting my hopes up, just to have it ripped out of my hands and shattered at my feet.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 01/07/2025
Two more weeks. Just gotta get through two more weeks. It's gotta get better after that, right? That feeling when I've been saying, "It's gotta get better after XYZ, right?!" for the past 10 years...
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
I want my life back.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 12/06/2025
I miss drawing. I miss creating. I miss designing. I'd rather be doing literally anything artistic right now. Instead im packing up the last 25 years of my life, wondering where the fuck I'll end up (metaphorically - I know where I'm going physically).
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
I hate feeling like this. I can't directly tell any of my friends what's happening, so no one knows how bad it is? They're all mutual friends with her, and I can't risk making her angry. It's fucked up that *this* is the space I'm the most honest in.
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 11/06/2025
I just want everything to stop hurting so much. I've realized I'll never be someone's first priority. My heart feels like it's tearing itself apart from the inside out. She makes it look so easy to just stop caring. I want to fucking scream until my throat bleeds...
000 0
Reposted by Joanie
かのまれき/Kanomareki @kanomareki.bsky.social · 04/06/2025
I illustrated the standee and also designed the outfit—it was such a fun project! アクリルスタンドのイラストと衣装デザインを担当しました!🏳️‍🌈✨
361899415 1.9K
Reposted by Joanie
Jam @jampdrooze.bsky.social · 02/05/2025
03812 38
Reposted by Joanie
Jam @jampdrooze.bsky.social · 20/05/2025
0143 14
Reposted by Joanie
Lupin 🐐🩸🪽 (COMS OPEN!) @linlupin.bsky.social · 21/05/2025
this past week be like
03812 38
Reposted by Joanie
Sera @geranium.pink · 14/05/2025
828831171 2.9K
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 17/05/2025
It just occured to me that towards the end of the original Evangelion TV series, the three pilots are systematically taken down from within. Asuka's mind is taken by Arael, Rei's body is taken by Armisael, and Shinji's heart is taken by Tabris.
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 02/04/2025
I'm fucking drowning in existential grief and burning anger and I have no choice but to put on my sweetest smile to get through it all. Somebody fucking kill me, I don't wanna do this life anymore.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 26/03/2025
I have spent four full uninterrupted days feeling like I'm constantly having a panic attack. I feel like I'm gonna throw up, but I'm also starving. I can't sleep. I haven't even let myself fully cry because I'm scared of being perceived. I'm scared. I'm so fucking scared.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 25/03/2025
Things I have realized about my future going forward: 1. It's never going to get better. I've been trying to get better for 20 fucking years, and I feel worse than ever.
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
youtube.com
Citizen Soldier - Where Were You (Official Lyric Video)
YouTube video by Citizen Soldier
000 0
Reposted by Joanie
Gabi @dr2-hell.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
reincarnated #danganronpa #sdr2 #hajimehinata #danganronpa2
27128 71
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 23/03/2025
I really am gonna die alone someday. Not any time soon, mind you. But someday.
100 1
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
I should have known it would be like this.
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 21/03/2025
I adore my therapist. They know exactly when it's the right moment for a dark joke, and their wit is FAST. I can't remember what the initial joke was, but my response was along the lines of, "That would've been great a few months ago, but I'm finally out of that s**cidal ideation phase."
100 1
Reposted by Joanie
Gabi @dr2-hell.bsky.social · 16/03/2025
i forgot to post this one. i love angel komaeda
15423 54
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
It's 5am. I should be asleep. Instead I'm on night three of sobbing hysterically into my pillow because I'm apparently incapable of keeping the bad thoughts away. I feel like I've been in a perpetual panic attack for fucking days...
000 0
Joanie @joanieccc.bsky.social · 20/03/2025
I'm not sure if I love that this space allows me to scream into the void where no one notices,or if I hate that my misery is invisible.
110 1