iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Reposted by Actually it’s Jason

✨IllustriousHussy✨ @harbingerofgaos.bsky.social · 17h

AND DO NOT IGNORE THOSE RED FLAGS OR GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. THEY PREY ON THAT‼️🛑

Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14h

You know those “stay out of the water if you’ve recently had diarrhea” signs around pools? So all that emotional baggage and shit people bring into the dating pool is the diarrhea.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 15h

I have a very foul analogy similar to this lol

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

I quote her at least once a week lol

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

I would say we gon make it, but idek at this point 🤣

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

My mom’s nickname for me, originally a now-defunct department store from the 1900s 😂

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Their entire handling of this has been a masterclass in white bro behavior.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Lmao I’ll spend like 15 minutes cross referencing shit before I’m comfortable telling them they’re way off base

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

The older I get, the more often I question my own intelligence and sanity when someone does something obviously wrong lol. I think it’s like “Wait, they can’t be for real. Am I missing something????.”

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

Not sure why that’s on my mind this morning, but ‘tis what ‘tis.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

That still messes me up. Like, there’s some anger that he didn’t tell ANY of us, but that’s always short lived; you can’t stay mad at Sam lol. But it reinforced a longstanding fear of mine that people I care about will die without me knowing. Also makes me wonder how I would face that diagnosis.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

A few days into 2020—around 2-3 years later—a Facebook post announcing his death showed up on my feed. Apparently he was diagnosed with ALS shortly after he graduated and chose to withdraw instead of telling any of his friends. He was on 30, I believe.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 14/10/2026

When I was in grad school, the person that folded me into my friend group just completely disappeared after he finished his program. No one knew where he was, what he was doing, or anything. The general consensus was that he’d moved to South Korea to teach English.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

This is all very positive and very doable. Uncomfortable? Hell yes. But the creative constipation needs to end. Upward and onward, kiddens!

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

So my assignment is to write. First, about why I feel like I have to earn goodness. Then to list out the therapist’s early red flags that I overlooked or excused. Then, what I can offer to a partner. Then, about this new guy I’m talking to.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

We also realized that I haven’t written anything since I broke up with the therapist because in my reward-programmed mind, I have to write about everything I experienced in that relationship before I “deserve” to write about anything else. But doing that means making all the harm real. Bleh!

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

It’s a larger pattern I’m working to unpack, really. I confessed to my therapist last week that I feel like I have to earn good things—naps, frivolous purchases, love. That’s something that I just recently realized. It’s ridiculous, really.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

Disregarding that, I’ve always wished I could see myself the way he seems to see me. I clocked early on that the therapist was in it for emotional regulation; good ex has always had my best interests at heart.

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Actually it’s Jason @jjnuberry.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

My good ex randomly called me on Sunday to catch up. Didn’t spiral or undo the work I’ve done, major mixed vibe from him (“I always think about you. Just want you to know that.”).

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