iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

"OH IS THAT HOW WE'RE GONNA GO? IS THAT HOW WE'RE GONNA DO IT? BITCH PLEASE TRY AND HIT ME. GO ON AND TRY. IT'LL BE FUNNY WE'LL ALL LAUGH AT YOU."

010

BUT HEY MID SURE FUCKIN' FITS SONIC AM I RIGHT. SLOW BITCH SLOW BITCH CAN'T FIND AN APEX TO SAVE HIS LIFE DON'T EVEN TRY TO TELL HIM ABOUT TRAIL BRAKING OR SLIP ANGLE IT MIGHT GIVE SLOWNIC THE SLOWHOG A CORONARY.

000

As much as the guys making the rules WANTED to slap them with penalties and fines, they couldn't because the test they used to enforce said rules was sidestepped. The best they could do was make a new rule for next year to stop it. Which thus brought McLaren back down to being wonderfully MID.

000

The whole fiasco was over a spoiler that flexed at speed which is a huge no-no. Any kind of adaptive aerodynamics are straight-up banned. The trick is that McLaren made a wing that flexed in such a specific way that it tricked the test used to judge if it was cheating, making it legal via loophole.

100

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 23h

Lemme remind everyone that Sonic is repping the F1 team that in 2025: Got away with a blatantly cheating aerodynamic package through a dumb loophole and in 2026: have reinvented slow now that the rules were rewritten to stop them from cheating this year. Truly fitting, Sonic. Truly.

120

"Well damn, if you're gonna be like that about it, I guess I should just keep all these juicy juicy Chaos Drives for myself."

000

(( Yeahhh, it's probably the oversaturation of it. When it used to happen it was cool and unique. Now it just feels like there's so many that it's not even a special occurrence anymore. ))

100

(( Real talk, I'm so tired of crossover overload. )) (( It feels so...so just corporate now, especially after Fortnite started doing it. Now every company just keeps going "OH MAN WE GOTTA MAKE MORE CROSSOVERS CAUSE PROFIT" and it just feels...soulless. ))

220

Just call them what they are...the lowest common denominator.

100

They could have also...y'know... Actually fixed the tumor that they called the items in that game.

100

Ah yes the team that LITERALLY CHEATED last year and got away with it. Appropriate.

100

"HAHAHAAA man the way you say that it almost sounds like you're..." "...Serious?" "Okay okay, fine. I'll humor you for, like...five seconds. What makes you think that if I turned tail and bolted at full speed, what makes you think you'd have a snowball's chance in a sauna that you could catch me?"

"Mmmmmmm yeaaaaah problem with that." "To do any of that you'd have to catch me, first."

100

"If the bullet moves fast enough it can pierce straight through the wall."

100

"Chaos Drives? The hell do you need those for? You adopt a pet chao or something?

100

"I can be anywhere, though. I'm just that damn fast!"

000

"That's why you'll always be slow with a capital S."

"What's up? Anyone need a visit from the fastest racer to ever live?"

410

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

(( I'd join in the "characters I simp for" thing but honestly I can't think of too many characters other than, like...Wave and a boss character from an extremely obscure Data East arcade game. ))

000

"Honestly, I haven't got the chance to throw hands in a hot minute. I'm itchin' for a fight. I'll beat his ass just for lookin' at me funny. I'll beat his ass for charity."

001

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

"Should I dropkick the insult to green?"

000

Nonono, that's Charmy you're thinking of.

000

Yo I'm back did I miss anythi-WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!??!?

030

This za got me so fucked up, everything look like a Penders drawing. Beat off with a tap and die set. I bust my nut immediately cause I always come first. I skinned Vector's mother alive so my bitch could get a new Louis Vuitton crocodile-skin hand bag This shit ain't nothin' to me, man.

111

Pretty sure I've still got the costume sitting in a box somewhere. I could just pull it out and-

100

I need an idea for Halloween so I don't just go as Dracula again. Unless...y'know...you want me to bring out the Hawkula Flow for another year.

000

BRB going on a nice relaxing drive through the forest.

000

"Well that'd just wreck the pipes. We want to send a nice sewagey spray." "...and maybe the second volley could be six pounds of C4."

100

"Well, my client said they needed a distraction." "What better distraction than using a little bit of black powder to give these suckers an impromptu bidet?"

100

Good morning, nerds. I'm gonna head down to the Guardian Unit of Nations' HQ of Intelligence to see if a cherry bomb down one of their toilets will create some impromptu fountains.

100

The poor souls... They didn't know.

030

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Never forget the most unfortunate acronym in motorsports, the Vegas Off-Road Experience, also known as...

131

I just shit down Eggman's chimney the police will not find me.

000

Jet the Hawk @jetthehawk.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

Alcohol? Bleh, why would you wanna fuck up your reaction time?

010

"YOU HEARD ME." "THEY FINALLY ADMITTED WHAT WE ALL KNOW." "I AM A HONEST-TO-GAIA AIRBENDER BAYBEEEEEE."

000

To allow me to what? Hmmmmmmm?

100

I mean I could be that, too. Iunno. I'm open to discovering myself. But I'm more interested in all the time I've spent discovering that I can make cool air blades from a pair of magic fans that can rules of nature a giant robot in half.

000

Now I need Sega to acknowledge that my father was a swordsman and must have taught me how to handle a blade as much as he taught me to ride an EG.

000

Sorry can't hear you over the sound of this hurricane I caused I'm going to be the scourge of the entire state of Florida.

(( S'all good. I think there's been a lot of dumb shit killing both of our muses, honstly. ))

(( The literal proof of what I said liked that. )) (( ... )) (( Hol' up lemme log into Storm real quick. ))

100

(( No because it takes me 4 months to reply to things, too. ))

[ Jet is gone. Jet has left ages ago. Jet is watching the shitstorm he left behind from his zeppelin. Jet is also sipping a nice iced tea. ]

020

... Y'know on second thought I uh... I think I'm good.

130

BITCH I CONTROL THE WIND AND YOU ARE THE WIND NOW KNEEL LITTLE DOGGY BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS ON THE TRACK AGAIN.

020

You would if I commanded you to, doggie.

020