Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I did nunchucks once as a kid for two seconds and thought the only person I'm going to hurt with these is me and that was that 0100
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Occasionally I imagine one of my big toes flying off like a missile Yup 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Needed something light and fun to take my mind off of my rapidly declining mental and physical health after decades of self destruction so I'm watching The Machinist again 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Maybe I'm wrong, maybe John Carpenter doesn't want any of the remakes to be good on purpose, so people always go with the OG, and choosing Zack was the long game Hmm 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I know Carpenter doesn't give a shit and is just cashing the checks and buying weed but I'm still disappointed that he didn't even try to get one of the many good directors out there who'd love a crack at New York and allowed Ayn Rand loving dumbfuck Zack Snyder to get the job, assuring its failure 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026The real Jesse may or may not be somewhere under Reno with the bunnies 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Twirling my mustache as my neighbors do rails 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026The 8th natural wonder of the world was Abe Vigoda's eyebrows 030
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Needs more sledgehammer hitting anvil 052
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I wonder how many people go into dentistry 100% for the drugs I'm going with 69% 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Can't, getting ready to attend my Knuckle Crackers Anonymous meeting (cracking sounds) 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026The first rule of rule club is coming up with a rule 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Van Helsing probably vacationed in Italy 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026My super depressing post punk\new wave song on that soundtrack is called Toy Division 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Maybe the crows are literally talking shit, "caca, caca", you don't know 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I'm so high I'm tripping over lights fantastically Ouch!!! 030
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026When people say Brain Worm Jr is ending certain vaccine research or anything in America "forever" that's giving that barely sentient bucket of inhuman scum WAY more power than he actually has 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026My non satire posts are the biggest satires of all my posts 030
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I have the projectile vomit capabilities of a much younger man 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Those over weeded gummies I was given are like One A Day for weed, and there's like 500+ in there, so getting high isn't something I have to worry about for the rest of the year, one before my shower and by the time I'm out I'm not in Kansas anymore 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I wonder what Humphrey Bogart's friends called him Hump or Bog 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026In another timeline I'm a famous elbow model 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Getting patches tattooed on both knees 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Sticker entropy really only begins once it is stuck 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026I bet you have to be extremely patient doing customer service for Jitterbug 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Doing my part (going to hotels and replacing all the Do Not Disturb signs with ones that say Makin' Mac & Cheese) 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Going back in time to give all the 90's baggy panted skaters a bumper sticker that says "REAL Skaters Wear Short Shorts" 120
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026The worst thing about climate change is I'm starting to understand the appeal of sleeveless shirts 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Eating nothing but shrooms, watching nothing but Teletubbies 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/20269:30pm breakfast achieved, that puts lunch at around 3am and dinner at around 8am Mmm 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026We have to at least give Suge one point for making Vanilla sign over the publishing to the one hit he had where all the music was stolen I wish he had actually dangled him over the balcony but just bringing him out there was good enough, you know Vanilla pees himself a little on any balcony now 020
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Less hamburgers is a good thing, especially if you're a cow or a colon 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026"This liminal thing really speaks to my soul" Hollywood executives right now 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026As soon as they go through the YouTubers Hollywood will hit up social media and we'll have a movie called Cheese 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026The worst aspect of nostalgia is how it tries to makes objectively terrible things seem good, like Tiffany music or any of the Jaws sequels 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Working on my low budget script, Aspect Ratio 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Cronenberg commercial where someone evolves flesh Nikes 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Tom Brady waking up in a Saw machine and the tricycle guy is all "You did a commercial for the world cup where you loved sweets, we will now see just how much you REALLY love Nutella" 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Slightly enjoying this Thomas Jane movie Dark Country but mostly because the 1961 Dodge Seneca in it is seriously sweet 000
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Celebrating America's 250th with 6 hours of Ice Ice Baby would actually be fitting 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026As soon as my neighbors realized they couldn't get anything out of me they stopped even grunting at me as we pass each other Cool 040
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026It's 2026 and we still don't have baseball sized blueberries and basketball sized strawberries, what are we even doing here??? 010
Jesse Taylor Lewis @jessetaylorlewis.bsky.social · 04/06/2026Can't even imagine the deranged things Brain Worm Jr is cumming up with to address the protein powder shortage 000
