iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

1. Hey, content creators, humans with wise, helpful, and soulful experiences to share, I see your ChatGPT cutting and pasting! I’m not sure what I’m seeing exactly, but I know it when I see it and I feel it when I see it, and it makes me scroll away and unfollow.

141

This is why sh** is so f*ked up!

2112

Okay, if I text you back, I'd love it if you could wait a few business days to one week to get back to me, or else I can't text you back - too overwhelming knowing that a reply is coming and the cycle starts again. Thanks!

This Virgo Season was a total bust and I blame the fact that there have to be other signs in the zodiac f*cking our sh*t up.

050

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 12/09/2025

I support this! Check it out free anywhere here. If you're ADHD/AuDHD or even just think you are.....https://jenkirkman.com/you-are-a-lot-podcast/

032

Dr. Russell Ramsay has a system for coping with ADHD emotional intensity. It's to identify the trigger, name the problem, work through worst-case & best-case scenarios, focusing on the most likely outcome. This helps stop catastrophizing & it curbs emotional outbursts. (I've done this. It works!)

0113

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 12/09/2025

The key isn’t to pretend that your imposter feelings aren’t there but to recognize them, let them exist, and still do the thing. That’s how you start building proof that you belong. That’s going to be the start of releasing that constant, nagging belief that you’ve only made it here by accident.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 11/09/2025

Hey, ADHD/AuDHD family, your shame spiral after oversharing is way bigger than the overshare itself. Are you embarrassed because you think you said too much or...because you think you ARE too much? You don’t have to "fix" the overshare with a follow-up text. Can you consider letting it go?

240

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

A Hope Journal can be a visual map for future projects. It doesn’t need to be fancy or perfect. Just one line per day: what moves you forward on your goal, what sparked a future thought, etc. Over time, this journal helps retrain your brain to be inspired during the process of working on a project.

051

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 10/09/2025

Positive feedback is literally fuel for the ADHD brain,” says Dr. Ned Hallowell. It gives us a hit of dopamine and it’s why a single compliment can motivate us for days. He coined this, Recognition Response Euphoria (RRE) which he thinks of as the flipside to Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).

1122

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

1/ There was a grieving process for a lifetime of misunderstandings that wasted my time and money, exhausted my nervous system before knowing I was also Autistic, (therefore AuDHD). Had a therapist who didn’t believe me when I’d insist her hypothesis about me was wrong.

391

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 09/09/2025

I hate the Pomodoro Technique, where you work for 25 minutes, then take a 5 min break. I set a timer for 25 mins, use the alarm to task switch and start another 25 min round. I take a 15 min break after 90 mins. A timer telling me to “take a break” even though *I’m the one who set it, riles me up!

161

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 06/09/2025

People-pleasing can feel like a connection, but it's a control issue in disguise. “If I say yes, they won’t get mad.” Or “If I help, they’ll like me” You’re trying to manage how other people feel about you so that you can feel safe, which doesn’t bring about true closeness.

092

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 05/09/2025

If you have ADHD and struggle with self-regulation, try this. Make a list of things you’re absolutely not allowed to do when you’re emotionally overwhelmed. Ex: “I don’t text while angry." When your brain goes offline, look at your list and let your own words anchor you to reality.

160

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 05/09/2025

Experts say that ADHD humans can fall into “accidental lying” - when your time blindness messes with your memory. You might say something happened to you yesterday when it didn’t, because your internal sense of time is off. Your brain doesn’t flag this as wrong and people might think you're lying.

1102

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 04/09/2025

There’s a neurological explanation for why ADHD humans struggle to focus. The default mode network and the task-related network in their brain are activated at the same time, which creates interference. This is why it feels like your brain is at war with itself when you're trying to complete a task

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 04/09/2025

Adults with Pervasive Drive For Autonomy (PDA) can feel emotionally disregulated when their autonomy is threatened. That can cause procrastination, anxiety, and shutdowns. You may want to do a task but don’t because the structure of the demand to do the task is what’s overwhelming.

061

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 03/09/2025

Large-scale studies in the past decades show growing evidence that ADHD/AuDHD/Autistic humans are more likely to be non-binary, genderfluid, agender, or transgender. Things like authenticity, discomfort with assigned roles, a tendency to question norms show up a lot as shared traits that overlap.

0100

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 03/09/2025

If you feel twitchy when you’re trying to rest, your body might be reacting to a lifetime of treating productivity as safety. Your nervous system might still associate stillness with danger. But you can retrain it slowly with rest and regulation techniques, and try to be consistent.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 03/09/2025

Cortisol affects your body in many ways; a twitching eyelid, jaw tension, bloating, random bruises, sensitivity to light, waking up nauseous, or even changes in your period — all of these can be connected to chronic stress hormone activity. These symptoms are often overlooked in ADHD treatment.

020

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 02/09/2025

Dr. Russell Barkley says that one of the biggest problems with diagnosing ADHD is that it’s still misunderstood by many medical professionals. So even within healthcare, you might run into people who think it’s just behavioral or just needs discipline. It sucks there’s misinformation at every level.

081

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 30/08/2025

Saying yes is easy but dealing with the fallout of that yes is hard. We say yes to the party, the favor and then try to figure out how to cancel. If we work on knowing our own internal boundaries, then setting and honoring them, that’s a tool that will help us to think and plan our lives better.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 29/08/2025

Dr. Edward Hallowell says that ADHD humans live in a survival mode. We use so much energy just to do the basic living and it can become our default mode. At the same time, ADHD humans are visionaries who have a deep capacity for imagination and dreaming, and who get excited about possibilities.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

Justice Sensitivity doesn’t just impact ADHD/AuDHD humans on an emotional level. It shapes how we interact with people daily. The intensity of our reactions can feel overwhelming to others. When people invalidate our intense feelings about fairness, it can trigger us to want to be understood more.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

Visual tools can help translate mental clutter into something trackable for ADHD brains. Things like color-coded calendars, dry-erase boards, sticky notes, or digital planning tools reduce the cognitive burden of remembering. They let you SEE progress if you choose to mark that as well.

010

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 28/08/2025

Us ADHD humans overshare cuz we missed “social pacing” lessons as a kid. I'll teach you now! Before a social gathering, decide what vibe you want to bring, then notice the vibe already in the room. We can do this unconsciously but when you do it consciously, you’ll speak from an intentional place.

041

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

Emotional intensity is an ADHD trait. Self-regulation is the solution. It takes practice. It’s not a failure if you didn’t catch the emotion fast enough. Over time, you recognize the early signs before you lash out and you learn to hold off from acting out one second earlier every time.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 27/08/2025

CHOICE PARALYSIS is when you’re spending hours going over an email draft or stressing out comparing every brand of soap before you pick one to buy. You’re stuck in decision-making. This is due to an information filtering problem in the ADHD brain although to others it may look like indecision.

010

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 26/08/2025

Autistic and AuDHD humans are motivated by values, consistency, and clarity at work. Neurotypicals can be motivated by competition or reward. Bonuses, job titles, social ladders don’t hold much meaning for us. If the work isn't meaningful, no amount of prestige is going to keep us engaged.

020

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 26/08/2025

There’s a scientific reason why it’s hard to get out of a hyperfocus — the ADHD brain is wired to latch onto rewarding tasks. When you finally find that dopamine hit, your brain doesn’t want to let it go. What do you normally find yourself hyperfocusing on?

010

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 23/08/2025

According to a recent study published in the Journal of Consumer Research, people rewatch the same TV shows over and over as a form of self-soothing and emotional regulation. This is not news to us ADHD/AuDHD humans. We’ve been intentionally self-soothing like this forever! What's your fave rewatch?

220

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 22/08/2025

Executive dysfunction with ADHD means we forget things, lose track of time, struggle to do complete tasks. We might lie about what happened cuz we’re embarrassed and don’t know how to even explain what happened. I've had moments like that where the truth just wouldn’t make sense to anyone. You?

121

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

When urgency takes over, it hijacks the brain’s ability to think strategically, which can be common in ADHD humans. The nervous system prioritizes immediate relief which makes it hard to weigh options, or make a plan. Hope needs space but unfortunately being wired for urgency shuts that down.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

If an ADHD/AuDHD human was constantly being misunderstood as a child by teachers, friends, and family members, they’re going to have trouble properly self-evaluating as an adult. This was definitely my experience. Anyone else?

061

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 21/08/2025

Coloring books, bead sorting, drawing are so much more than just hobbies for the ADHD/AuDHD human. Tactile, low-stakes, focused tasks give our brains sensory input, a sense of completion, relief from overstimulation. Sometimes our brains need active rest in order to relax. What's your fave?

080

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

Feeling misunderstood as an ADHD-er is often from the difference between how hard we’re trying vs. how people perceive our effort level. We could be working harder than anyone else in the room in order to complete a task, but doesn't it feel like people look at us and think we're not trying at all?

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

Sometimes, it’s because the task is boring. Sometimes it’s because it’s too big. Sometimes it’s because you’re afraid of failing. But the result is the same with ADHD task paralysis - NOTHING happens and then a shame spiral begins.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 20/08/2025

It's so easy to accept that we have ADHD when we do silly things like leaving a coffee in the microwave. But when it comes to things like feeling frozen in task paralysis, we can forget that we have a real disability and instead beat ourselves up.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 19/08/2025

Oliver Burkeman writes about how the concept of time management or mastering time — is pretty new. The Industrial Revolution is when people started getting paid by the hour instead of the day. This shift turned time into a resource to be managed, which created the modern obsession with productivity.

031

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 19/08/2025

Dr. Megan Anna Neff points out that demand avoidance in Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is linked to threats to autonomy. In contrast, demand avoidance in autism and ADHD is more likely to stem from sensory overload, executive function issues, or anxiety.

Jen Kirkman @jenkirkman.bsky.social · 19/08/2025

Neurodivergent kids aren’t “too sensitive.” They are reacting appropriately to environments that are genuinely harmful. When those environments don’t change, the harm can follow us into adulthood.

You can’t breathe your way through an environment that sucks. You CAN, but that shouldn’t have to be your every day. That constant energy drain is a sign that the system is wrong for your brain. I’m talking about the emotional burden of school in today’s new episode of my podcast, You Are A LOT.

Framing being bullied as a rite of passage, or character building, excuses cruelty. Being bullied creates obstacles to developing a healthy sense of self. I’m talking things from a study about the emotional burden of school on neurodivergent humans on today’s new ep of my podcast, “You are A LOT”.

Maybe you call yourself lazy or an idiot. You don’t think that you mean it. You’re saying it as a joke. But where did that thought come from? According to a new study, neurodivergent kids carry twice the emotional burden at school due to neglect. New episode of “You Are A LOT” pod out now!

150

A new study says reducing the emotional burdens that ADHD/AuDHD students carry in school could prevent decades of mental health struggles. Neglect as a neurodivergent kid follows us into adulthood as depression/anxiety. It's not fair! New episode of "You Are A Lot" pod out now.