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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 6h

Dance like everybody’s watching, but without disgust.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 6h

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea – I am a human being.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 8h

I would say 'Thanks for everything', but I don't have everything.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 16h

Okay, I can confirm that only a Trump-level moron could have mistaken the intentions of 'The Uprising' makers as having *anything* to do with the actual Robin Hood legend. Greengrass still messes up the whole film with the insulting made-up nonsense of the last 20mins, though.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 16h

The new, ultimate definition of GULLIBLE is anyone who gives the tiniest atom of credence to anything reported by the BBC/ITV/any major newspaper related to Israel, and terrorism. Be it Fairford or that plane, the desperation in their current portfolio of transparently false narratives is pathetic.

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Reposted by Jem Roberts: Author &c.

Tales of Britain @talesofbritain.bsky.social · 17h

As this #FolkloreThursday is also the first day of 'Spooky Season', here's the creepy and tragic true Norfolk tale of BABES IN THE WOOD! Sadly, Wayland Wood makes nothing of its cultural history at all. @folklorethursday.bsky.social youtu.be/3TG_QeqYtvo?... 🐉🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿📚🌳👫🌳👻

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 17h

How can any Oasis recordings be worth £11m when there are about four post-Be Here Now albums which literally nobody has ever listened to twice? Do they mean £11? Bit steep if so. www.theguardian.com/music/2026/o...

theguardian.com

Oasis take legal action to stop sale of unheard recordings valued at more than £1m

Tapes made in the 90s, including candid conversations between Noel and Liam Gallagher, which were expected to sell for up to £1.6m

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 17h

We are at the stage where the news has to specify which prominent rapist is having his every pronouncement treated as gospel.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 17h

Author and English Literature graduate asks… WHO. THE. FUCK. IS. JOYCE. CAROL. OATES? Yes, I have Google. Googles… Okay, seriously – WHO. THE. FUCK. IS. JOYCE. CAROL. OATES?

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 17h

We should have destroyed Chris Pratt when we had the chance.

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Reposted by Jem Roberts: Author &c.

Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I'm nobody's fool. My folly is entirely freelance.

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Reposted by Jem Roberts: Author &c.

Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I don't have time for any old Tom, Dick or Harry, y'know. It has to be Hanks, Van Dyke and Enfield or nothing.

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Reposted by Jem Roberts: Author &c.

Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

If you ever feel upset that you're too short, please consider me an elbow to cry on.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

If you ever feel upset that you're too short, please consider me an elbow to cry on.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I don't have time for any old Tom, Dick or Harry, y'know. It has to be Hanks, Van Dyke and Enfield or nothing.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I'm nobody's fool. My folly is entirely freelance.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

Turns out this is a dangerous franchise to namecheck when there are hordes of eye-lash-penised incel losers out there who search "Rick & Morty" every five minutes to protect their unequivocally deservedly cancelled pervy hero.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

I was trying to think of a proud celebrity smoker these days, and can't think of one. I suppose you're not going to see them fagging away on chat shows like Peter Cook and O'Toole did, but it seems remiss not to have any cultural reference for that habit any more.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

When that perv who co-created Rick & Morty was showing his little knob to kiddies in DMs or whatever the frig he got up to, did he spare a thought for those who received shit R&M merch as a Xmas present, and can't bin it without offending in-laws? No, all he was interested in was underage vag.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

The problem with modern musicals is that I claim to hate all musicals, but the truth is, I've always had a sneaking love of so many of the old musical hits. But then the likes of The Greatest Showman and Wicked, just seem to have not one musical plus point, even ironically.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I thought it was a large crow or a raven, but I was wrong. Rooky mistake.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

Be the change you cannot find when you need a wee at a large train station.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

POP FACKS: Friends aren't electric, they're actually gas-powered.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

It is inescapably amusing that Argentina is a real country, and not just a really daft racist sitcom that nobody watches.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

It's funny how so many of us consider ourselves good people, and yet is any one of us putting our spare time into ensuring that every single US military base on non-US soil is reduced to ashes? Destroying all fascist US bases is precisely what a genuinely good person would do.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Don't call it "Danny Tommo", that's a brand name for dicks, like "Tommy Robinson". Call the criminal shitter what he is: an overdue corpse.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Trying to use what they still call 'democracy' to oust a cheating genocidal fascist dictator like Donald Trump is so patently, clearly ridiculous, and stands no chance of working. You may as well try to use sarcasm to stop an atom bomb.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Just realised Sylvester McCoy's real name is Percy Smith. These actors…

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I mean, you could have just admitted Taylor Swift was shit on the day she was born and saved yourself 4 decades of delusion.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

Rewatching The Thick Of It. 20 years ago, the idea that the ‘Mother’s piss’ lady was BNP was enough for the news media to wipe her from reports. These days, any news platform would make her a hero for the same reason. We live with deliberately enforced social regression.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

We have instant custard now, so why does it still seem as if there’s so little time to get things done?

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I wonder if Cockleshell Bay has a Costa these days. It probably does.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I’m like a bull in a china shop – unable to pay.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I would like to have been in the room when the Kelloggs top brass all agreed that the size of each Variety pack would officially be 'enough to satisfy a ladybird, and no more.'

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

RIP Ronnie Golden; also Tony de Meur. Hardly any good ones left.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I'm a bit like Marmite, I am... I add something special to a stew.

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Reposted by Jem Roberts: Author &c.

Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Remember, God can see everything you do. She’s just more interested in nuns.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Remember, God can see everything you do. She’s just more interested in nuns.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I know this is kinda gross, but: aggregate, total, overall, complete.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

They say that plenty of pineapple makes your you-know-what* taste great. *Upside-down cake.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Very sad – I was literally just listening to the part of the Frood audiobook (for a legitimate reason) about Douglas Adams’ inspirational English teacher Frank Halford just yesterday. RIP.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

There’s more than one way to stop someone skinning a cat.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

People say they ‘lose their shit’ like it’s a bad thing. Surely better than hoarding it.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Even if you disdain ChatGPT & every AI scam, we're near the stage where minor use of AI via endless apps & services has made it as impossible to totally avoid as to say 'No microplastics for me, thanks!' Thing is, if we were all just inadvertently using AI in minor ways, it might be sustainable.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

If you use an AI-designed poster to raise money for your cause, your cause is rendered null and void, and you don't deserve a penny.

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Jem Roberts: Author &c. @jemroberts.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

Hoping for a genuinely coherent progressive political movement in the UK media environment is like pouring a barrel of battery acid all over your windowbox and hoping for daffodils.

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