iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 13h

Turns out that the bloke in the park was just tying his shoelaces and didn't want to play leap frog.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 13/10/2026

Every fortune teller I have met is either really depressing or overly enthusiastic. Why can't I find a happy medium?

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 12/10/2026

If a fellow dog walker asks if you want to stroke his Cocker Spaniel, always opt for the Spaniel

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 11/10/2026

Was reading the Bible. John 3:16. Matthew 3:17. Luke 3:18. Seems it was a very close race.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 09/10/2026

I told a work colleague he’d make a great father. I have a sixth sense…. I see dad people.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 08/10/2026

I had a terrifying experience last night. I was home alone, relaxing in the bathtub, when all of a sudden… I felt a tap on my shoulder.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 07/10/2026

I used to tell fortunes but only ever predicted cold winters. Turns out the crystal ball shop sold me a snow globe.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 06/10/2026

I’m really sad, because someone broke into our house and stole my globe. It meant the world to me.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 05/10/2026

I bought some lamb chops. The label said “reared in New Zealand.” And I thought that was just a racist stereotype.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 04/10/2026

The first rule of Gwen Stefani Club is don’t speak.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 03/10/2026

Here’s the thing about cliffhangers…..

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 02/10/2026

I tried telling some jokes at the Psychic Convention. It seemed like they’d heard all my material before.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

Just for the record, a person born in 33 was 45 in 78….

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 30/09/2026

One thing that always catches my eye… Short people carrying an umbrella

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 29/09/2026

I tried watching one of those virtual fireplace videos on Netflix but it didn’t work. I forgot to put the login.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 27/09/2026

I finished reading the dictionary yesterday. The plot is weak, but there’s a ton of characters in it.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 26/09/2026

I was told that 70% of the population is stupid… I'm obviously with the other 40%.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 25/09/2026

My old schoolmate now works in IT in the USA. He tells everyone over there he comes from a LAN down under.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 24/09/2026

Mortal combat was based on a Scandinavian church song. Finnish hymn.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

I remember once Chris asked me to do his homework for him. I said “that wouldn’t be right.” He said “I know. But do your best.”

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 23/09/2026

Went to the wedding of 2 optometrists on the weekend. During their vows, they asked if they take each other for: better or worse... better or worse... better or worse...

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 21/09/2026

The best murder weapon would be a Tupperware lid. The police would never be able to find it.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 20/09/2026

I wish my mate knew the difference between antidote and anecdote. I got bit by a snake and he starts telling me funny stories.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 19/09/2026

I tripped over a Kleenex box this morning. At first I thought I’d done a major injury, but it was just tissue damage.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 18/09/2026

I’m working to work on being less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to other people)

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 17/09/2026

I've started investing in stocks. Mainly beef, chicken, and vegetables. One day, I hope to be a bouillonaire.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 16/09/2026

Exercise gives you energy but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 15/09/2026

OK, so naked running. Apparently this means running without GPS, music and any other tech. I wish I knew this yesterday.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 14/09/2026

It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea. Then it’s definitely about the destination.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 13/09/2026

People who buy sex dolls are just f*cking dummies.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

I was arguing with a guy at a bar. He said he was a big pop star in the 80s. I didn’t believe him, but he was adamant…

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 11/09/2026

I was watching a locally produced cooking show. When the chef made a lemon meringue pie, the audience cheered and clapped. It was odd because Aussies normally boo meringue.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 10/09/2026

On our way home last night my friend said: "Let’s stop and visit my brother Nickolas". So we took the see Nick route.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

Dad tells me when he dies, he wants his ashes spread on a record player. It’s his vinyl request.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 08/09/2026

I went to a dyslexic masseuse. She really rubbed me the wrong way.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

Mum always tried to kill people with kindness. She gave home made jams and cakes to our difficult neighbour until eventually he developed type 2 diabetes

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 05/09/2026

People say I’m having a midlife crisis but they’re just jealous of my new Harley Davidson.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 04/09/2026

I used to have a terrible phobia I was being followed by a clown but l now I can look back and laugh.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 03/09/2026

I’m not good at it, but I keep trying to develop my lip reading skills. Or as my deaf friend says “elbow shoe wood fan”

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

I bought a Jack in the Box from Temu for only $3 and nothing pops out. Doesn’t surprise me.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 01/09/2026

I was going to post a joke about an arsonist with learning difficulties but it’s a bit of a slow burner.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 31/08/2026

My plan to travel the country for free without using my thumbs has gone without a hitch.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 30/08/2026

I’ve just stolen all your laxatives. I shit you not.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

I wrote a song about pita bread. It’s more of a wrap.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 28/08/2026

Cat Stevens was nervous about his operation so the nurse said she would play some of his music to help him relax. It didn’t work - “The first cut is the deepest”

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 27/08/2026

I watched The Lion King and realised it has lots of hidden meanings. It’s full of Simba-lism.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 26/08/2026

My friends tell me I need to move past my Baby Shark phase. I tell them it’s not a phase! It’s what I do do do do do do….

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 25/08/2026

For some strange reason, my mate covered his testicles in glitter. Pretty nuts….

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 24/08/2026

Went to my Premature Ejaculators Support Group meeting yesterday. Turns out the meeting is today.

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JayD1313 @jayd1313.bsky.social · 23/08/2026

I don’t like computer jokes. Not one bit.

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