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James Auburn

@jamesauburn.bsky.social
273 followers 100 following 121 posts

Musician, writer, teacher, misfit among misfits. Wry and dry. Invisibility superpowers. www.jamesauburn.com

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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 10/07/2026
As I was walking down the street one day, I came up to a man and asked him what the time was that was on his watch. He gives me some pseudo-philosophical twaddle about "does anybody really know? Does anybody really care?" and I'm like, bro, can you cut the crap and JUST TELL ME THE DAMNED TIME.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 06/07/2026
"He could get on Twitter right now and say 'y'know who I'd like to f*ck? I'd like to f*ck Nicki Minaj!'... It's insanity! That's where we are!" - Sam Harris (yeah, I know) on Joe Rogan (YES I KNOW), just before the 2016 election
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 19/06/2026
The Europeans are now in love with American fast-food and junk food, and I feel like we've just spread smallpox blankets over them.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 16/02/2026
Finally: a movie I saw in the theater, upon release, is now getting MSTied. I am so there - even 9-year-old me knew this movie was dreck.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 08/02/2026
Bad Bunny needs to walk out on stage, with a mic and a spotlight, and sing "God Bless The U.S.A." for 10 mins. To a backing track that never ends: just key change after key change, his voice getting higher and higher, for ten straight minutes, then top it all off with a rendition of "Y.M.C.A.".
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 18/10/2025
Providence, RI. #nokings
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Once you understand that every male GOP staffer under the age of 30 was raised on 4Chan and Reddit, a lot of things start to make sense.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
Jimmy Kimmel should've said mentally ill homeless people should be given lethal injections - nothing at all would've happened to him then. #jimmykimmel
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 08/08/2025
On a related note, I really, irrationally hate the modern "ironic" hipster-y aesthetic send-up of the 1970's. I can't explain why, but it's annoying as fuck to me.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 24/07/2025
Hulk Hogan: Real American. Train, say your prayers, eat your vitamins. The embodiment of virtue and goodness. Ozzy Osborne: the Prince of Darkness. The embodiment of evil and malevolence. ...right?
youtube.com
Times Ozzy Osbourne Was the Nicest Guy on Earth
YouTube video by Loudwire
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
I've gone from just assuming Trump's name is all over the Epstein files to thinking he's the ONLY fucking name in the Epstein files.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 23/07/2025
Man, everybody from Duran Duran to Motley Crue to Donny Osmond to T-Pain to Pearl Jam to Pat Boone is warmly eulogizing Ozzy.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 22/07/2025
Wow. The Prince of Darkness has returned to the shadow realm. R.I.P. to Ozzy Osbourne. The ultimate symbol of rock and roll excess and mythology for decades running, turned beloved doddering old dad on a reality show. Bats everywhere breathe a sigh of relief.
news.sky.com
Ozzy Osbourne dies just weeks after farewell show
The heavy metal star reunited with his Black Sabbath bandmates on stage at Villa Park earlier in July.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 09/06/2025
R.I.P. to Sly Stone (1943-2025).
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David Ho @davidho.bsky.social · 22/05/2025
So…about AI’s energy use… “…to create a five-second video, a newer AI model uses ‘about 3.4 million joules, more than 700 times the energy required to generate a high-quality image’. That's the equivalent of running a microwave for over an hour.”
mashable.com
Report: Creating a 5-second AI video is like running a microwave for an hour
That's a long time in the microwave.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 22/03/2025
I wear jackets like this. If I looked like *this* in them - like a piteous middle-aged try-hard desperately hoping that an article of clothing will transfer cool that he doesn't possess - y'all would let me know, right? Right??
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 07/02/2025
I got one of these as change for something recently, and I had no idea they put Nixon on an American currency. Freakin' NIXON? Well, several other Presidents came along and lowered the bar for corruption and abuse of power even further, so maybe he seems like a statesman to some people these days.
The gold $1 coin with President Richard Nixon's face.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 29/01/2025
I made a video for YouTube, and it's strictly for my fellow fans of 80's funk, R&B, AOR, and Japanese city pop. It's a supercut (do people still make those?) chronicling the ubiquity of a certain rhythmic figure in funky music from that era. Watch before it inevitably gets taken down for copyright.
youtu.be
This rhythm was EVERYWHERE in 80's Funk, R&B, Boogie, AOR, and City Pop!
YouTube video by James Auburn
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
“Wow okay - thanks Honey Dew, you buncha dicks” - Rose Dewitt Bukater
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 23/01/2025
McDonald's should bring back this commercial - it's still funny (made one of my 11-year-old piano students laugh). For a year or two there, kids in my generation couldn't hear "Fur Elise" without thinking of this song.
youtube.com
McDonalds Piano Recital commercial
YouTube video by Mike Richardson
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 22/01/2025
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 17/01/2025
Tell me this doesn't seem like an artist that just came out yesterday. This band, with this look, this sound, this hook, would be the biggest sensation *right now*. FORTY-THREE $!@##$%^@ YEARS AGO
smoothradio.com
The Story of... 'Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)' by Eurythmics
"Sweet dreams are made of this, who am I to disagree?"
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 01/01/2025
Well, the year's off to a flying start...
cnn.com
At least 10 killed after driver plows into crowd on Bourbon Street in New Orleans | CNN
A “mass casualty incident” has occurred in the French Quarter of New Orleans, emergency officials said early Wednesday.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 31/12/2024
Man being crushed by an huge Indiana-Jones-boulder-sized Christmas ornament that says "2024"
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
Jimmy Carter gave up his beloved peanut farm when he took office just to avoid the *appearance* of a conflict of interest. Can you imagine a President being like that today?
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Reposted by James Auburn
Ashton Pittman @ashtonpittman.bsky.social · 29/12/2024
Jimmy Carter was a Christian politician who actually sought to model the teachings of Christ even after leaving politics, rather than using Christianity as a political bludgeon against his opponents or as a tool of supremacy in the godforsaken "culture wars."
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 19/12/2024
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Europeans watching Americans fix their healthcare system with gun violence:
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 23/11/2024
If Frank Zappa and George Carlin were alive today, they'd be cranky reactionary Bill Maher-style anti-wokesters. Search your heart, you know it's true.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 22/11/2024
What the hell happened to all the dog and cat eating? Is that still going on or nah?
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 20/11/2024
Vermont and New Hampshire are like your white-haired, Birks-wearing, "Visualize Whirled Peas" hippie aunt and your gun-collecting, helmet-laws-are-tyranny, blue-lives-matter uncle sitting next to each other at Thanksgiving and agreeing not to speak.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
On the highway the other day, I saw a big “FAITH FAMILY FREEDOM - AMERICA FIRST” bumper sticker… on a Prius. That’s definitely how Don Henley would've written that “Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac” line in 2023.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
When someone writes "I don't care what side of the political fence you're on, this is funny!"... it's not going to be.
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
"You were once shoved headfirst through someone's vagina. Don't act so dignified." - xkcd
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James Auburn @jamesauburn.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
James here. Musician, writer, teacher. From Mississippi, currently in Massachusetts. Still got the "y'all". Trying (and failing) to keep my vinyl collection under control. So... cool, somewhere else to go. Maybe I'll share some music I like, and a few pithy li'l bon mots. Who knows.
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