Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 09/07/2026FUCK. (I accidentally bought crunchy peanut butter.) 011
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 29/06/2026I have decided to start saying good afternoon starting at 11 AM. If you think about it beyond the AM label, it feels midday in productivity, wakefulness, and weather and sun conditions, closer in kind to afternoon than morning. Good morning during that hour never felt right with me. 021
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 10/06/2026I hereby sentence you to 10 years in manufacturing. 010
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 06/06/2026Happy birthday, 38 year old millennials, I bought you something. 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 06/06/2026FUCK YOU BLUESKY. How many times have you crashed after I put all that effort into a post? And my posts languish with 0-2 likes, when they deserve thousands. 100
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 26/05/2026I dropped my sandwich, mustard side down, onto the carpet. 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 13/05/2026I'm not gay, I'm starved for compliments, carefree, open-minded, and altruistic. 010
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 03/05/2026This is what the tooth extraction looks and sounds like. youtu.be/XxThFt9g6rc?... 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 28/04/2026What the fuck, this celebrity lookalike analyzer is telling me I look like Andy Dick. 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 20/04/2026This hobo on the mountainside made my day, he remembers me from when I was a kid. 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 16/04/2026I'm sad I'm no longer homeless and can no longer claim the title of best-dressed hobo in town. I frequently confused people as to whether I was a volunteer or college student at the soup kitchen or library. 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 25/02/2026I can't buy a gun after slapping around my ex-wife. You can't be a man these days. Got any legal issues? I know a few fixers on the inside. — Roid-rager next to me at lunch. 000
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 10/02/2026Shitty bus driver alert: hits the bus station road bump hard. 040
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 23/01/2026Somebody told me Kentucky is socialist because it's a commonwealth. 001
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 25/12/2025Yes, I'm eating at a Chinese restaurant on Christmas. No, I'm not Jewish, I'm atheist. 231
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 24/12/2025I will fight every methhead that tries to steal my poptarts. 120
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 09/12/2025There's a Christmas song in you better than this. 040
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 04/12/2025I think Donald Trump is a cannibal. He has eaten human flesh. He's an ephebophile, a wifebeater, cheater and rapist, a Russian spy, an insurrectionist, a murderer of dissidents, a real estate fraudster, an academic cheater... 200
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 17/11/2025All these men could've been saved if only somebody told them, "half your age plus seven." 0120
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 22/10/2025Who or what killed the inverse pyramid of journalistic writing at the national newspapers? 050
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 15/09/2025What social psychology findings do electoral modelers and communications consultants implement in their research and recommendations, if any? It seems like the average Democrat going by their gut knows more than the leaders talking about economic issues. 480
Mateo Cisneros @jambalaya353.bsky.social · 23/07/2025BREAKING: Kohberger sentenced to life in Idaho. 4151
