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I feel ashamed of myself. And I don't know what I can do about it anymore. I'm a self-loathing, selfish being. I need to talk to someone but my voice to reach out to people has been gone for a long time. There isn't going to be anything good for me in the near future but I guess that's my life.

000

This space to rant isn't helping either, I'm just throwing my headspace into an empty crowd and hoping that maybe it'd get it off my mind but it clearly fucking isn't and has only shown that I have no way to actually get better without the help I can't bring myself to ask for.

100

I'm disgusting and unkempt and I have nothing of value to bring. I thought college would've maybe helped but I only brought myself debt and an even worse social environment. I want to leave everything behind, but I think that wouldn't be fair to the people who actually spent their time with me.

100

I just wish I didn't exist today, this has been the worst Saturday in a long time. I can't bring myself to leave my dorm, alone in this fucking bland room. I can't stomach eating or drinking anything today. I have too many problems today and I can't fix a single fucking one, let alone show up for it

100

I shouldn't have went to college. I shouldn't have told myself there was the chance of a better future because clearly there fucking isn't. I can't think straight and now I have a bigger problem to face from it. I'm going to fail, I knew I was going to. But I just hoped I wasn't going to.

100

God this is awful. Why'd I have to pull myself through all this if I knew shit was going to turn wrong. I am trapped in this dumb fucking cycle and I can't grow or change out of it. I'm a hopeless being. I have to face the consequences of my actions but can't fix what caused them to begin with.

100

I royally fucked up, that of which caused me to break down mentally. But I'm too scared and cowardly to actually say I'm not okay. I wish I could say I'm fine but I can't physically pull myself to say it. The worst part is that I have people, but I just can't pull myself to talk to them.

110

I'm so severely mentally unprepared for this, but I have no voice to stop anything. So I guess I'll fail and prove myself to be the failure I was always predestined to be. Great, just amazing, fuck my life.

000

It feels like looking up at constellations and using silly horoscopes to give everyone a purpose and meaning but when it came time for me there lay none, I had to fabricate my own meaning and purpose but without the ability to put it to action I'm worthless.

100

I need to change myself but I can't and that's what makes me an irredeemable human being but I guess that doesn't matter because it won't be worth shit with all of the other problems it causes. Even though being able to change would fix everything, Jesus Christ I want to tear at my own skin

100

I have nobody and no one I feel comfortable talking to and it's all my fault that I can't speak up about it. Everyday just gets worse and whilst I try to pretend that it's fine in front of others it doesn't get any better. Why is it my own form of self refuses to let me ask for help?

100

I have tried and tried to make the best of this awful state I'm in but I can't actually pull myself to get my shit together. Now I'm behind in classes and I'm not sure how I'm going to fucking recover from this. Just great. I've been proclaiming myself to be a dropout before I even started.

100

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

And as bad just gets worse, it feels like this one week has took forever. Only for it to lead back to another fucking week of classes. It was a bad idea for me to be here. I have a terrible fucking headache for now but I'm pretty sure that's just because I'm tired.

100

College fucking sucks but hey at least I have sad & heartfelt furry music to dump my emotions onto.

000

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

I know it's only me who can change myself but I don't know how to change myself and that fucking sucks because it makes me worse of a person. I want to socialize but it feels impossible to with my shit of a personality as well. I need to find a new hobby to actually stick on to.

100

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 28/09/2026

Ugh. I'm so pathetic. I can't make sense of my own mind. I have hardly any friends in college but I'm too fucking insecure about meeting new people. If I make new friends then I get stressed on their thoughts rather than my own. I know my problems but I don't know how to fix them

100

Why can't I push myself to do anything about this awful fucking shit cycle? I can't even fucking do anything drastic to myself I'm that much of a loser. I have 0 redeeming qualities about myself and I am out of place in any group. Fuck everything because clearly life is fucking me over mentally.

000

Like what the fuck am I anymore? Clearly less than a person given I can't hold myself together. I have so many bad traits too I am not sure how people bother with being near me. I'm sure 90% of the people I've met only talked to me because they were required to.

100

So many other people would be so much more successful if they had the chances I did and I fucking wasted it. I'm genuinely a shit person with an awful personality yet I have to act like I'm a good and okay human being

100

Why did I fuck up so badly? What is wrong with me? I couldn't have chosen a worse time to do everything, genuinely fuck my life. Why was I given this amazing opportunity if all I was going to do was throw it down the fucking drain?

100

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 02/09/2026

Holy fuck I'm miserable Not even 2 weeks in and I'm already fucking crying to myself over the long weekend because of everything. I'm not going to make it past these four years. I hate this feeling. I want to throw up. I'm so sick of this, why did things have to lead me to this?

100

Man I thought College would've really helped me turn a new cheek and actually think for the better. But fuck that and fuck me I guess not. I'm not making it past college but I'll sure as hell try and fail like I nearly always do

000

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 22/08/2026

I'm alive but in college now so I'm basically dead but just not yet

000

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I'm not sure about this world anymore. But this music in my blood keeps me okay, for now.

010

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

It isn't my fault it happened, but it's my fault that I am still like this. So do I persist with what I know isn't good? Or suffer the weight of change, knowing that I can't look back to safety after it? Is this limbo state I live in truly stationary? Or just a cascading breakdown in the works?

100

Alynn @jade-cat2.bsky.social · 24/07/2026

I kept twisting these poisoned knives into what used to be myself. Yet of what I know this doesn't kill me, but makes the people I interact with confused as the fallacy of what I had meticulously shaped crumbles due to my own failing mental state.

100

Too much shit going on in my brain to give a fuck anymore, I have work tomorrow and they really won't fucking care about my mental state, I know that for sure. Night.

000

I guess I really am going to live up to what people sought me to be, fucking nothing. Great, fucking wonderful. I can't with this fucking society anymore, I hate everything. I don't want this, but In forced to have it, amazing.

100

For people who seem so willing to help me why do I feel too guilty to ask for help? Is it because I am in the wrong? I don't know what I did wrong. Then why is that feeling there? I'm too scared and a fucking wimp to come to terms with my own problems.

100

I'm such a loser cat trashfag, I should just quit out on everything before it all implodes on me, but it feels like I can't back out now. I've already sunk too deep into the quicksand of college. And I haven't even made it to my first day yet. Why am I such an awful person?

100

Is this the end of the line for me? Because I feel as if I have ran out of string to hold onto. But I haven't fallen yet, I know that I most likely will, but it seems it will come when I don't expect it. I float mindlessly in the raging sea of my mind for when it will come.

100

I know I won't feel this way after like 2 fucking days or so but I know this shit will come back, it always does and I can't say shit about it without causing more problems. I've never been comfortable with sharing my feelings to family and I never will I don't think.

100

My Life most likely isn't going to go anywhere, but if it does then I won't resort to just being over with everything. But that's an unlikely scenario. Why does yelling into a crowd always cross my mind? Am I that sad and in need for attention? Jesus Christ I'm worthless.

100

I don't think anybody in my family really has faith that I'll ever be anything. But they try to make me feel better even though I can see right through their shit. I already know I'm the fucking problem but I don't think that it'll help to act like I'm not. God this shit sucks.

100

Man I really am lonely and pitiful. What a disgrace I was to think I could put my own fucking life together. Why does it feel like every good thing is in vain? Or am I just that sad of a person to find fallacious lights at the end of a never ending tunnel?

200