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Jack Monroe

@jackmonroe.bsky.social
20K followers 1.7K following 793 posts

I have opinions and bylines and plenty of snacks.

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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 18/12/2024
Literally this.
A newspaper clipping from The Simpsons showing the headline ‘Old Man Yells At Cloud’
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 12/12/2024
Well this feels very on brand.
The green cartoon DuoLingo owl says that I have made 2,655 mistakes this year.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 10/12/2024
You’d think I was cooking sausages, or something. (You’d be right)
A large blonde goldendoodle and a large ginger and white Maine Coone cat  are sitting on a pale marble effect linoleum kitchen floor, both with their noses pointed expectantly at their human companion, whose hands smell distinctly of the hot sausages they have just been pilfering from the dinner pan.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 07/12/2024
It was at the time. This tiny little scrap is taller than me now!
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
I aspire to these levels of uncomplicated contentment.
Cooper, a large ginger and white Maine Coone cat, sits on a pale blue sofa with his legs and paws tucked under his fluffy body. His eyes are closed, chin tucked into his substantial white ruff, and he’s definitely purring. Across the back of the sofa are recycled hessian coffee sacks with colourful logos and block printed slogans. It’s his scratching area of choice so we just went with it. Next to him, on the left, you can see half of a mustard coloured cushion and the corner of a turquoise heron-printed one. This is the most comfortable seat in the house, so of course, the cat occupies all of it.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 06/12/2024
Them: So, are you seeing anyone right now?

Me: Like, dating, a therapist, or hallucinations?

Them: ……Nevermind….
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
👋
I don’t even know where to start with this image but here goes. A large ginger and white cat is standing on his hind legs on the edge of the bathtub. His front paws are on the sink. His body is an almost perfect right angle balanced on two comically ballet-posed paws. His face is mission-focused, noise pointed under the silver mixer tap, tongue working furiously at the drip of water trickling from the end of it. He’s been here for 6 whole minutes so far and I’m mesmerised by his determination and balancing skills. Out of shot, I pictured, is a bowl of water at his feet. But of course he doesn’t want that.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
‘Post you from a different era’ challenge
A faded photograph of a three year old child squinting into the camera. They’re wearing a white tshirt, dark purple velour jogging bottoms, and a hand made navy vest with a large yellow and red Superman logo stitched to the chest. Their light brown and blonde hair is in multiple pigtails, underneath a red and green felt hat that was part of a Robin Hood costume. They clearly want to be all of the heroes, and all of the boys, all at the same time.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
😡
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 19/11/2024
Porridge oats made with Greek yoghurt (very slowly and patiently so it doesn’t split), with plenty of honey, dried ground orange peel, and hot buttery nuts.
A wooden bowl of creamy pale porridge sitting on top of a recycled burlap coffee sack with indistinct teal coloured letters printed across it. The porridge is topped with a shimmering dust of finely ground and dried orange zest, chopped pistachio nuts, and plenty of honey. A spoon rests in the bowl, a dark stainless steel with a handle that looks like a loosely tied knot.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
The challenge is to choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. #BookSky 2:
Book cover of The Flavour Thesaurus by Niki Segnit.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
Yours looks adorable. Will trade for this impetuous gitbag.
Cooper, a large male Maine Coon cat with ginger Batman-mask markings on his face and a speckle of freckles above his very pink nose. He is sitting atop a very large cloud of white duvet, looking impetuously at the camera lens held by his human servant. The light is dusky, but his intention is clear: he wants the entire super king sized bed, not just ninety percent of it.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 18/11/2024
Porridge oats, milk, honey. Apple fried in butter, salt and cinnamon. Breakfast.
A white bowl of porridge sitting on a straw coloured coffee sack. The porridge is topped with chunks of red-skinned caramelised apples. There is a brass spoon in the bowl with a dark wooden handle. Sunlight dapples across the crockery from the out-of-sight net curtains.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
The challenge is to choose 20 books that have stayed with you or influenced you. One book per day for 20 days, in no particular order. No explanations, no reviews, just covers. #BookSky 1:
Book cover: The Girl In Times Square by Paullina Simons
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
My hair at the Hopkins trial. That’s all.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Goodnight, friends.
Laurie the Goodendoodle, laying on a large white bed with a cloud of large, sumptuous duvet. Her two huge, apricot coloured front paws are crossed in front of her, stretching out towards the viewer. Her head slightly cocks to one side, eyes like shiny black buttons, boopable nose, and bright pink tongue poking out of her smiling mouth. It’s time for rest, she seems to feel saying, but also maybe time for a little play just to get all the last few bounces of the day out first.
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 17/11/2024
Which is about 📍 here 📍
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
(PS am I doing this ALT text thing right?)
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Jack Monroe @jackmonroe.bsky.social · 16/11/2024
Here’s a photo I took of the Thames Estuary a while back. I like living here SO much.
A photograph of the Thames Estuary coastline, Southend on Sea. The sandy shore is on the left hand side. The sand is the colour of mink, ripple-textured by the recently outgoing tide, and scattered with soft dark green fronds of sea grass and mosses. The water is almost perfectly still, a watercolour smudge of pastel pink, lilac and blue. In the background, a wooden groyne disappears into the sea. The sun is rising. A penstroke of civilisation in the background hints at Kent on the horizon. This is a peaceful place.
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