iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 01/10/2026

the other day i heard of the concept of "dudes naming dudes" on an episode of the podcast Bandsplain when Sean Fennessey brought it up, and today i kept laughing to myself because it was happening right before my eyes

screenshot of Twitter-user @EMHudsonlives's tweet that says:

Dudes can literally just sit around and name old sports players and just have the best time.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 12/09/2026

i knew this since childhood, and every single experience since then has made me be like, "dating can and should be so much better and fun. idk why we do this to ourselves and each other"

screenshot of Twitter-user @thedigitaldash_'s tweet that says:

something i’ve learned this year about myself is that i dislike dating. lmao i actually do not enjoy the process of dating new ppl at all. i would rather just use that time talking to my friends or an already established connection

screenshot of Twitter-user @thedigitaldash_'s tweet that says:

in my experience, ppl are super bad at casual dating too. and i love casual dating! it’s so unfortunate lol maybe it’s just difficult to find ppl who know what casual dating actually is

screenshot of Twitter-user @thedigitaldash_'s tweet that says:

do you guys enjoy dating? is it something you do bc you genuinely enjoy the experience or is it something you feel obligated to do as a means to an end? (the end being sex, relationship, romance, marriage, or whatever else)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 09/09/2026

"This is a community that I live in with you. And if you, inside this community with me, are not aware of how I live in this, then you're telling me you don't care. And how are we supposed to do anything together?" (source: youtu.be/CIM-4LJPkC0)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 07/09/2026

"There's an inherent, entrenched self-morality code that exists that is a part of the Black experience. We hold each other, even if we can't be hyper-consistent all the time, to a standard that's based in community." (source: youtu.be/CIM-4LJPkC0)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

i didn't know Bridgeport, Connecticut was part of NYC cool even tho (link: secretnyc.co/candlelight-...)

NYC’s most affordable suburb, also known as the “Circus Capital of the World,” is hosting an exclusive candlelit concert for two nights only

A string quartet will perform Adele’s biggest hits inside the historic Bijou Theatre as fall settles over this beloved community.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 29/08/2026

i posted this on IG, and someone made a (in a now-deleted, because the interaction was pointless,) comment about how they hate making mistakes and they always learn from other people's mistakes, and i was like "you are a danger to those around you" (source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZTSEXTFnT/)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 17/08/2026

"Learning to explore perspectives and narratives outside your comfort zone is like, the key to growth and being wellrounded" 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

screenshot of Twitter-user @TheGayChingy's tweet that says:

I hate to say it but the modern moviegoing audiences have become something so pathetic to me. Including queer audiences, who I expect both more irreverence & more intelligence from! But most just think they want virtuous representation or wish fulfillment free of “harmful tropes”

screenshot of Twitter-user @TheGayChingy's tweet that says:

You need to see more repertory cinema, in watching mostly what’s current you lose so much appreciation for greater context we all live in and have lived in. Learning to explore perspectives and narratives outside your comfort zone is like, the key to growth and being wellrounded

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 12/08/2026

worse is when they try to Blacken up their way of moving through, existing in, and engaging with the world both instances make me go

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 10/08/2026

i'm pretty sure this is my first official manga purchase! i started reading this a few weeks ago when i first met a new friend in NYC 10/10 so far (i'm 6.5 chapters in) shout-out to @coreyxkenshin.bsky.social

the cover of Monsters We Make volume 1 by CoryxKenshin featuring the protagonist, Jabari, wearing headphones over his dreads, a coat, and a shirt; and there are feathers falling down around Jabari (two on the left right below his collar and his shoulder, and two on the right near his collar and below his shoulder)

Jabari is colored in black and white against a black background with a wide red streak running diagonally from the upper right corner to the middle left of the cover

the back cover of Monsters We Make volume 1 that shows Jabari from behind wearing a hoodie, jeans, and headphones over his dreads; he's in black and white,band his dreads are a maroon color

the background is mostly red with some black, and silhouettes of birds

and the words:

"WOULD YOU SURVIVE YOUR FIRST DAY?

For Jabari Booker, acceptance into the world-renowned New Edyn Academy promised a path to musical mastery- and more importantly, financial freedom for his family in a post-Eternal Night world.

But on his first day, that dream crumbles into a nightmare.

Jabari learns the academy is a front for enlisting students to fight a deadly war. Now trapped, he is forced to battle monstrous beings, known only as Leakers, whose origin and purpose remain a mystery.

As Jabari descends deeper into darkness, he realizes terror awaits him.

With new allies, Jabari must confront not only the bloodthirsty Leakers, but also the corruption festering in his new city- all under the watchful eyes of Sanada..."

written on the back cover

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 05/08/2026

“It is a socially sanctioned childhood trauma that damages their moral, emotional and relational capacities, and places them at risk of reproducing harm across generations.”

screenshot of Facebook-user Stacey Patton’s post that says:

I'm writing a scholarly journal article arguing that racial socialization into whiteness should be added to the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)framework.

Because teaching white children to suppress empathy, normalize domination, obey racial hierarchy and derive identity from the dehumanization of others is not healthy development. It is a socially sanctioned childhood trauma that damages their moral, emotional and relational capacities, and places them at risk of reproducing harm across generations.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 31/07/2026

the longer i live in Suffolk County, the more this idea rings in my head

screenshot of Twitter-user @queersocialism’s tweet that says:

fascinated by people who proudly feel the need to announce their bigoted views but are utterly appalled by being identified or associated w/bigotry. all social dynamics (even those that are conservative) it seems are organized around performances of liberal civility and moral righteousness in all of its fragility

screenshot of Twitter-user @queersocialism’s tweet that says:

it is a totally human impulse to desire to be socially accepted, to be seen as a progressive, civil person. but everyone wants to be seen in such a way without actually being it. when people hold a backward belief they jump through so many hoops to rationalize it while insisting on their moral righteousness!

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 30/07/2026

Vince cooked with these lines (source: genius.com/Vince-staple...) (song: youtu.be/qdcD99Pd0oo)

[Chorus]
Blackberry marmalade and sweet tea
Beats the summer blaze, they say
Honesty the best policy? Okay (Say it)
Blackberry marmalade and sweet tea
Beats the summer blaze, they say
Honesty the best policy? Okay (They lying)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 19/07/2026

reasons why the vibes are atrocious out in my area they won’t explicitly tell you they hate PoC, but they’ll put the feelers out and act like you’re insane for being like “i kinda don’t fuck with y’all”

A sign that says “Jesus is my savior. Trump is my president” lawn sign

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 12/07/2026

actual footage of the conversation between Satan and his lawyers about this agreement

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 11/07/2026

i wonder what they think about the cowardice of humanity and our inability to brave the elements in the wild like they do on the regular

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 27/06/2026

growing up and constantly having to confront the fact that my accomplishments meant nothing to the woman who birthed me unless she could either use it to make her look like a good parent for raising such a Good Child™️ or

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 05/06/2026

“Misapplication of the concept of personality disorder may be the most stigmatizing diagnostic mistake, but it is by no means the only one.“ (source: www.traumatys.com/wp-content/u...)

The propensity to fault the character of victims can be seen even in the case of politically organized mass murder. Thus, for example, the aftermath of the Nazi Holocaust witnessed a protracted intellectual debate regarding the "passivity" of the Jews, and even their "complicity" in their fate (Dawid-owicz, 1975). Observers who have never experienced prolonged terror, and who have no understanding of coercive methods of control, often presume that they would show greater psychological resistance than the victim in similar circumstances. The survivor's difficulties are all too easily attributed to underlying character problems, even when the trauma is known. When the trauma is kept secret, as is frequently the case in sexual and domestic violence, the survivor's symptoms and behavior may appear quite baffling, not only to lay people but also to mental health professionals.

The clinical picture of a person who has been reduced to elemental concerns of survival is still frequently mistaken for a portrait of the survivor's underlying character. Concepts of personality developed in ordinary circumstances are frequently applied to survivors, without an understanding of the deformations of personality which occur under conditions of coercive control. Thus, patients who suffer from the complex sequelae of chronic trauma commoïly risk being misdiagnosed as having personality disorders. They may be described as "dependent," "masochistic," or "self-defeating." Earlier concepts of masochism or repetition compulsion might be more usefully supplanted by the concept of a complex traumatic syndrome.

Misapplication of the concept of personality disorder may be the most stigmatizing diagnostic mistake, but it is by no means the only one. In general, the diagnostic concepts of the existing psychiatric canon, including simple PTSD, are not designed for survivors of prolonged, repeated trauma, and do not fit them well. The evidence reviewed in this paper offer strong support for expanding the concept of PTSD to include a spectrum of disorders (Brett, 1992), ranging from the brief, self-limited stress reaction to a single acute trauma, through simple PTSD, to the complex disorder of extreme stress (DESNOS) that follows upon prolonged exposure to repeated trauma.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 03/04/2026

“When we approach progress from the perspective of proving ourselves to be an ally, we are centering ourselves and our experience and our feelings instead of the movement, instead of helping the people who need help.” (source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZTk2W2vq5/)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 06/03/2026

“a woman willingly marrying or dating a rapist or abuser should be held accountable. there’s no debate about that.”

screenshot of Twitter-user @baluciaga’s tweet that says:

a woman willingly marrying or dating a rapist or abuser should be held accountable. there’s no debate about that.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 03/03/2026

“There is a lot of money in misleading the public about drugs.” (source: youtu.be/0uSC8cS08jE)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 27/02/2026

“But the brain is not meant to be sexy in a situation where they want control over it.”

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 21/02/2026

“Too many men want to be this leader, be this dominant figure, and they’re going about it by trying to become a weird, disconnected bully. That’s not what you want.” (source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZThqdHk9h/)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 19/02/2026

this is something that has increasingly been on my mind since moving to Long Island

screenshot of a reblog from Tumblr-user @stimmyabby that says:

Sometimes people use "respect" to mean "treating someone like a person" and sometimes they use "respect" to mean "treating someone like an authority"

and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say "if you won't respect me I won't respect you" and they mean "if you won't treat me like an authority I won't treat you like a person"

and they think they're being fair but they aren't, and it's not okay.

Source: flyingpurplepizzaeater

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

“I do think people can often reach other people one-on-one, but that's not going to come about by forcing someone to do volunteer work with the people they've harmed, and you shouldn't potentially inflict further harm on those people by putting it on them to teach the unwilling.”

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

The point being: you can expose people to horror. You might, at least with some people, be able to make them feel horrified.

You can't force them to feel *empathy* or *compassion*

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

I do think people can often reach other people one-on-one, but that's not going to come about by forcing someone to do volunteer work with the people they've harmed, and you shouldn't potentially inflict further harm on those people by putting it on them to teach the unwilling.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

The way I've seen most Americans read it is to assume it's about remorse and acknowledgement and guilt that Germans feel despite attempts to ignore it, forget it, move on.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

So while the narrator in this poem is certainly *haunted* the Holocaust, it's not clear whether they are haunted by remorse and sadness or by resentment that they're forced to remember this.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

“[The Holocaust has] become symbolic for so much, and by labeling it the ultimate, incomparable evil, we've made it a *signifier* for evil while losing what it actually WAS.”

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

But here's the thing:

Even those of us who've *studied* the Holocaust fairly in-depth and watched a lot of footage and read a lot of memoirs and first-hand accounts and who desperately
WANT to understand have trouble grasping the horror of it.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

And, y'know, I'm Jewish. I'm motivated to understand. I *want* to get it. And it's something I continue to undertake voluntarily.

I'm not being forced to do it by people who just won a war against me.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

So, predictably, these attempts had varying effects on individuals. Oldenhage describes on of them as an inability to see what was in the pictures. Looking at an image and seeing *the image* and not the reality the image represents.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

And I feel like that's a good way to describe the role the Holocaust plays in Western consciousness more broadly. It's become symbolic for so much, and by labeling it the ultimate, incomparable evil, we've made it a *signifier* for evil while losing what it actually WAS.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 16/02/2026

“You have to *choose to learn* empathy from suffering, whether you're witnessing it or experiencing it. It doesn't happen automatically.”

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

I keep hearing people say that the "Camp Auschwitz" guy should be forced to volunteer at the Holocaust Museum to teach him some empathy, and people, empathy doesn't work like that.

CW: Holocaust

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

First off, if merely WITNESSING suffering automatically taught empathy, every Nazi camp guard would have quit.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

Even EXPERIENCING marginalization, persecution, and/or suffering doesn't automatically teach empathy. If it did, white women and white gay men wouldn't be racist, let alone complicit in patriarchy. No man of color would be misogynist. No disabled person would be homophobic.

screenshot of Twitter-user @Delafina777’s tweet that says:

You have to *choose to learn* empathy from suffering, whether you're witnessing it or experiencing it. It doesn't happen automatically.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 13/02/2026

more men need to get to this level of understanding (source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZTh9616oT/)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

i need people to understand this an inescapable part of the process of learning is getting shit wrong it’s a completely neutral act

screenshot of Twitter-user @ick_real’s tweet that says:

admitting you didn’t know something does not make you stupid btw

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 12/02/2026

this is something that more people need to understand (source: www.tiktok.com/t/ZThmrkbK2/)

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

“If you believe that based on the color of my skin that I’m inferior to you, that is not a difference of opinion. You have a problem. Do you understand?” www.tiktok.com/t/ZThfY9jJw/

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

“Many of them assume it means being able to say things that are mean and/or racist.” this is also a necessary addition

screenshot of Twitter-user @polotek’s tweet that says:

After several days and literally thousands of comments, I can confirm that a great many white people have no idea what we mean by "real talk" Many of them assume it means being able to say things that are mean and/or racist.

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($3.11/$100) Kay Salvatore 🏳️‍🌈🇵🇸🍉 @iwritecoolstuff.bsky.social · 02/02/2026

there are two other tweets in this thread; however, i have been thinking about this a lot over the past few months (link to thread: x.com/polotek/stat...)

screenshot of Twitter-user @polotek’s tweet that says:

Did y'all know that a lot of white people don't have the cultural concept of "real talk"? You know where you stop saying the diplomatic thing and tell people what's really going on. They just don't have it. You try to have a moment of "real talk" and they freak the fuck out.

screenshot of Twitter-user @polotek’s tweet that says:

It's one of the things that makes it difficult for PoC, and Black people especially, to form real trust relationships with white people. Y'all don't know what's going on because no one tells you. And no one tells you because you can't actually handle the truth.

screenshot of Twitter-user @polotek’s tweet that says:

I've come to understand that white people have their own seemingly convoluted way that they decide what's going on and what to do about it. I have a really hard time navigating those rituals. I think a lot of us do. And it damages our ability to be successful in white spaces.

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