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Ivan K

@ivankander.bsky.social
209 followers 605 following 377 posts

Repping the DMV. Bad filmmaker. Mediocre motion designer. www.lucky9studios.com thereisnttimeforthat.substack.com

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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 15/10/2026
I've really been enjoying Kyle Thompson's Well Dweller. Or, as I like to call it, relaxing Hollow Knight. #metroidvania
Poster art for Kyle Thompson's indie Metroidvania game, Well Dweller.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 12/10/2026
I’ve waxed poetic about baseball on this newsletter before, but it’s worth reiterating: no sport has a vibe quite like it. It’s the game’s often maligned slowness that makes it so all encompassing—you don’t so much watch a baseball game as you live inside of it for three hours: the game is played at a pace that forces you to soak it in. The crack of the bat. The roar of the crowd. The stillness in between. It’s a soundscape—a world—that is unique to itself.

But, of course, Eephus isn’t actually about baseball at all. Rather, like a lot of great existential films, it’s a reflection on time—on how life seems to move glacially slow only for you to look up and realize it’s already passed you by. You see, an eephus pitch—as one of the movie’s characters lyrically explains—is a type of curveball that is pitched so unnaturally slow that it confuses the batter and makes him lose track of time—he either swings way too late or way too early, never quite clocking into its rhythm. As a cinematic metaphor, it’s perhaps a bit obvious, but that doesn’t stop it from resonating.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
AI generated slop ads are getting wild.
An AI-generated slop ad for some sort of weird sex pillow that features a gray haired man who is either about to give his wife a massage or plow her doggie style.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 15/07/2026
This is an A+ fake name. 5 stars. No notes.
A screenshot from my spam inbox from a sender named "George Ottoman," which is a delightful fake name
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 24/06/2026
My egg sandwich game is unmatched.
An egg sandwich with lamb sausage, cheese, and hash brown served on English muffin
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 22/06/2026
Dad achievement unlocked
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 16/05/2026
The Connor O’Malley Iran tweet
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 12/05/2026
I realize the absurdity of equating the most popcorny of popcorn movies as some sort of symbolic representation of American idealism, but really, is there a better cinematic metaphor for “look how good we had it?”

In retrospect it was a death rattle, but at the time, Endgame felt like we had summited pop culture Everest: the culmination of 12 years of cinematic world-building, combining dozens of obscure comic book characters into a satisfying narrative that gripped the cultural conversation that somehow defied the internet’s propensity to fragment. Even your Facebook Aunt knew who Starlord was. That’s insane.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 27/04/2026
As the show unfolds, while the narrative doesn’t fully abandon its whodunit premise (and, admittedly, Conrad throws some delightful red herrings in there), it is clearly less interested in that side of the story. In a way, DTF St. Louis—like a crab being cooked in boiling water—changes its temperature so steadily, that you don’t even realize you’re actually watching a show about sad and lonely people—sad, lonely people who are desperately struggling to forge some kind of connection, and the ridiculous lengths they will go to do that. Clark and Floyd love one another, yes, but it’s a platonic love, and I love how emphatically the show reinforces that point. This isn’t a show about gay men having to hide their true selves on the down low, but rather, how far they are willing to go for one another—even when common sense seems to indicate that they should stop…even when acts of ostensible kindness to lead to something destructive.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 16/04/2026
You see, to have a game of catch is to have a conversation: something physical to do with your hands while you connect with the person in front of you. It’s not competitive like one-on-one basketball or even horse. You aren’t playing a game so much that you are talking, a rhythmic call and response, ball against leather—chit-chatting through each exchange. It’s a seemingly endless volley that can only be curtailed by the lowering sun.

As I grow older, I often feel like time is moving at a speed that I am unable to get in sync with. They’re growing up so fast. There is still so much I want to do. I’m always busy and feel guilty when I’m not. I always feel out of breath.

But, baseball is never rushed. Each inning follows the next with no stopwatch to dictate how much time is left. One pitch after another. The game will continue on without you, and, when the time comes, it will be there for you when you are ready to come back home again.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 13/04/2026
A screengrab from the Twilight Zone episode, "Eye of the Beholder"
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 02/04/2026
As I followed behind my daughter on the trail, her little legs barely large enough to fit around the body of this massive creature, I found myself growing nostalgic for something that wasn’t even over yet: I imagined her bigger and older and moody…I pictured me in the future, longing for her like this, so filled with wonder at something so basic. As parents we talk about seeing the world fresh through our children’s eyes (yes, another cliché), and that aphorism hit me especially in the gut this past weekend.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 27/03/2026
The Apollo dodgeball  gift of prophecy meme
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 26/03/2026
A screengrab from season 3 of the White Lotus where a drugged up Jason Isaacs points a gun at his head while wearing a duke t-shirt.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 26/02/2026
These are the true joys of a “7 out of 10” game—an entry into the medium that isn’t necessarily high-art, but also one that rewards my time and doesn’t insult my intelligence while playing it. It’s a video game that is meant to be “played” not “survived,” and in a gaming landscape chock full of “git gud” Soulslikes or rogue-like grinds, it’s damn refreshing.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 23/02/2026
Has there ever been a bleaker job posting?
A linked in job posting for an AI prompt specialist to describe film scenes. Bleak shit.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 19/02/2026
In a world where everything is content, it’s important to care about what you are actually producing. Although the structures of capitalism have taught us differently, the goal isn’t subscribers or profit or growth. No, the goal is fulfillment, and fulfillment can only come through making things that matter to you, regardless of how many people click the little thumbs up icon underneath said creation, even if that creation is just words put into sequence.

It’s important to think critically about things. It should never be enough to simply “like” a movie or TV show or video game; it’s important to interrogate why. And, through that interrogation you might, ultimately, discover something deeper about yourself, and—perhaps more importantly—those around you.

It is not enough to simply consume the world. We must participate in it
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 18/02/2026
Homemade corn tortillas fail
Absolutely terrible attempt to make corn tortillas fresh
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 19/01/2026
What if recession, but, you know, Instagram friendly?
A screenshot of my phone touting how good melting cabbage is
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 05/01/2026
Sent off the follow-up e-mails. Made a cup of tea. Currently unwinding by trying to put together a cursed candy company's family tree.
A screenshot from the detective video game "The Roottrees are Dead"
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 30/12/2025
The algorithm really doesn't understand Dredge at all.
A screenshot from Xbox gamepass suggesting that Dredge is a relaxing game.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 29/12/2025
Read some real bangers this year. Lonesome Dove was a bit of a project but it’s an American masterpiece.
My goodreads year in review image
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 21/12/2025
Thanks to @jeffcannata.bsky.social for recommending "Death Howl" on @dlchypetrain.bsky.social. A game that feels like it was built for me.
The Vince Mcmahon reaction meme indicating the various elements of the indie deck building game, Death Howl
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 18/12/2025
Screenshot from Season 4 of the Righteous Gemstones, featuring an image of the "Cape and Pistol" society.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 11/12/2025
Yes, Caught Stealing is very much a “movie”—not a film—and I think it’s very interesting that Darren Aronofsky—a very notorious “filmmaker”—decided to make a movie. Regardless of your opinions of his oeuvre, Aronofsky is incontrovertibly an auteur, so it’s cool that he has used his powers to craft something that isn’t meant to be particularly deep or nuanced. Rather, he just gave us a good time at the movies. Coming from the man who brought us both Requiem for a Dream and Black Swan, that’s a surprise. And, the fact that a studio actually gave him $40 million to make a movie like this…well…that feels like a miracle. Darren Aronofsky has a sense of humor? It’s true…people really do contain multitudes.

All this to say, I wish more auteur filmmakers would do this. I want Ari Aster to make a studio thriller. I want Noah Baumbuch to give us a straight-up romantic comedy. I want Kathryn Bigelow to make something Point Break-esque again (instead of whatever House of Dynamite was supposed to be).
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 04/12/2025
All this to say, how can we separate the art from the artist? This basic debate has come up often in the world of movies—where problematic filmmakers are finally being called out for disgusting and often illegal behavior. But, does that mean folks shouldn’t watch Annie Hall in a film studies class? Does Rosemary’s Baby get stricken from the record? Is it possible to enjoy the art without somehow supporting the artist? I’d argue that the two are inexorably linked; bifurcation is impossible.

In the case of Hogwarts Legacy, it gets even more complicated: a team of literally hundreds of people—developers, artists, writers, animators—brought this game to life, and I’d imagine the majority of them disagree or are actively opposed to Rowling’s views. But, yet, by building such an elaborate piece of Harry Potter lore, they too are feeding the machine, both with financial and cultural capital. By preserving the legacy of the property, they too preserve the legacy of its creator. There is no unraveling that thread.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 26/11/2025
Screenshot from my substack newsletter that reads: "Eddington is a Thanksgiving movie in that it is representative of the awkward interactions that occur at a yearly meal with family members you hardly see, ripped from our bubbles and forced into ceremonial congregation. It’s where barely-researched—but strongly held— ideals clash with one another, where Facebook posts and Twitter memes are confronted with the reality of the person spewing them. After the niceties about weather and football fade away, you begin to realize that your dear old uncle is actually kind of racist, or that perhaps you didn’t really know as much about clean energy or bitcoin as you thought you did. The irony of modern life is being inundated with information, yet, also still being woefully uninformed about most things."
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 21/11/2025
Meme image of Frank Costanza from Seinfeld complaining about motion smoothing.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 13/11/2025
Well, as a father of two, I have a theory: kids don’t so much like mac and cheese as they like the blue box that comes with the powder. The homemade stuff? Fancy gruyere and shredded cheddar? They ain’t having it.

As a food snob, I refuse to submit to the altar of Kraft, and so I stubbornly always make mac and cheese from scratch. My homemade variation basically amounts to buttered noodles, some milk, shredded cheese, salt, and paprika, mixed together in a single pot. My kids like this okay, but they also don’t go bananas for it like I’m always secretly hoping (to be fair, it’s always a bit bland). And, of course, I have to suffer through their eye rolls when they discover the vegetables I try to sneak in there.

Dad!? Are these frozen peas?!
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 10/11/2025
For any one wondering, yes, middle schoolers are still doing this 30 years later…
A scribble of a stussy symbol I found in my sons bedroom
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 06/11/2025
After the series’s inciting incident where Ron Trusper is humiliated by a faulty chair, we watch him deal with the mundane insanity of “normal” American life. Ron just wants to talk to someone on the phone, but alas, he’s forced to navigate stock-photo filled, corporate-speak laden websites, useless and infuriating AI Chat Bots (“you’re a fucker!”), an ouroboros of phone trees and bad on-hold elevator music. Is Ron Trusper crazy? Or, are we insane for living in a society that has normalized all this?

Just yesterday I tried to buy groceries at an Amazon Fresh, only to find that my “smart cart” couldn’t recognize the store QR code on my phone, and thus, didn’t keep track of my scanned items, resulting in me having to wait in line for 10 minutes so that the check out clerk could just scan my items manually—you know, like they’ve been doing for the last five decades.

It’s amazing that we all haven’t snapped already.

Tim Robinson is clearly fascinated by the dumb rules and mannerisms of “polite” corporate culture—how we all comply with arbitrary guidelines or default into HR speak…the way off-hand comments can become obsessions, and, ultimately, how people at their core only care about their own wants and desires (a recurring bit where the father of Trusper’s daughter’s fiancé kept bringing up how often a dead dog used to bother him had me rolling).

As I often glibly joke to my wife: Everybody is nuts about something. Robinson’s oeuvre, through the characters he plays or encounters, is emblematic of that idea.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 30/10/2025
The real question mark for me is that I have no clue how OpenAI or Meta or whomever else intends to make money off this garbage. And, let’s face it, all of these tech projects, at some point, need to figure out how to make money to satiate their investors. Social media is already a tremendously difficult industry to monetize; people won’t pay to use the service, so you are reliant on advertising or other avenues for revenue. In other words, the currency is eyeballs and the content itself—created by users—is free.

But, with AI slop video apps, the content is no longer freely generated…it costs money and time—compute, energy, server usage, whatever—to make these things. So, now, literally the only selling point of social media as a business—the fact that users will self-generate the stuff that people will want to click on, and thus, appeal to advertisers looking for eyeballs—is gone. Silicon Valley has managed to make an unprofitable industry, less profitable? Amazing.

We thought the future was flying cars? No, it was computers burning hectares of rainforest in order to get enough compute power to generate facsimiles of existing social media videos, which are then being commented on and viewed by other computers.

Gosh, our technodystopia is way more boring than I thought it would be.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 26/10/2025
My controls. #therehearsal
Me dressed as Nathan Fielder for Halloween
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 25/10/2025
Remember: You are stronger than you know.
Screengrab of me beating Silksong
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 23/10/2025
Maron’s departure truly is the end of an era. The podcast boom has been punctured by the enshittification that always swallows any endeavor dependent on profit and constant growth. Honestly, I’m just glad Maron is quitting on his own terms…that he got out before selling out (albeit after uttering hundreds of ad-reads for Shari’s Berries).

And, really, at this point, what more could I have asked for? Maron has talked to practically everyone—from guitar players to politicians who share my last name. Dude deserves a break.

Still, though, it’s hard not to get a little weepy knowing that his familiar voice just won’t be there anymore: on neighborhood runs, when I’m cooking dinner, when I can’t sleep. Marc Maron has been the soundtrack of my life for nearly 15 years. Everything ends, I realize, but that doesn’t make it any easier to say goodbye.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 20/10/2025
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell A John Green-esque heart on its sleeve, YA romance that I enjoyed. Sue me. Apparently, there is a lot of hate for this due to to how it handles race (or rather, how it doesn't), but that sort of went over my head. An easy, sweet read.
Cover art for Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 16/10/2025
Screencap from my newsletter reading: "I very much believe that watching anything done well is inherently interesting. Obviously, the most common realization of this in modern life is sports—it’s fascinating to watch people in peak physical shape and ability face off against one another in athletic competition. But, this sense of wonder can apply to anything if there is enough skill or passion behind it: painting, model-making, sand castle building, and, yes, of course cooking. Not to derail this newsletter post too far into the weeds, but this fascination in the process itself is one of the main reasons why AI-generated material feels so soulless…we are denied seeing the struggle of creation.

In watching true masters of the craft smoke brisket, I was often left slack-jawed at the effort these folks put into their work—an effort not driven by monetary reward, but rather, by a desire to be excellent at something…to make something delicious. In a world driven by capitalist incentives, I was moved by the sentiment."
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 09/10/2025
I’m not suggesting that beating Silksong is actually an “important” endeavor: in the grand scheme of things, I know that completing a video game is literally childish.

But, I do think there is something more to glean from all this self-induced thumb pain.

You see, Silksong’s ultimate thrill comes not from collecting items or trinkets (none of the upgrades fundamentally make the game any easier), but rather from the vicarious joy of thinking something is impossible only to realize that it, in fact, actually isn’t—that you are capable of much more than you ever dreamed of.

It’s a general aphorism, yes, but it proves there is some value in my struggle.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 08/10/2025
Picks & Shovels by Cory Doctorow Apparently this is a part of series with a recurring main character; I liked the setting (early 80s Silicon Valley) and the book's heart is in the right place. But, the story lacked tension and the characters too simplistic to elevate things beyond airport fiction.
Book cover art for Cory Doctorow's Picks & Shovels
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 01/10/2025
But if BoJack’s specific niche was show business, Long Story Short’s is Jewishness. Yes, the show has plots and characters that don’t revolve around Judaism, but every frame of this show is packed with Yiddishkeit. As a basic pitch, I recognize that’s not particularly unique: there’s lots of comedic Jewish stories that have been been told via mainstream platforms (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld). But, I just don’t think anything has ever felt this authentic before. The Jewish characters in Long Story Short aren’t there to fill stereotypical roles nor does Waksberg relegate Judaism to only its cultural identity (e.g. Bagels and lox! Nagging mothers! Guilt!). The great accomplishment with this show is that Waksberg manages to give us all these things—the bagels and nagging mothers and Borscht-belt affectations—but also grounds it in a reality that exists beyond the punchlines and expected tropes. This show is unafraid to explore the faith directly and how it is being practiced (or not practiced) in the United States today.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 27/09/2025
So, apparently I’m a masochist?
Achievement for beating “the last judge” in hollow knight Silksong
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Careless People by Sarah Wynn-Williams A tell-all memoir from a former Facebook staffer. Interesting in parts, but, also, I feel like I already knew that Facebook was awful, and I don't think the author ever really comes to terms with her own complicity in Zuck's evil empire.
Cover art for "Careless People" by Sarah Wynn-Williams
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 25/09/2025
Screengrab from my Newsletter, "There Isn't Time for That" reading:

When you have kids, you don’t so much sit down to “watch a movie” as you do “watch it increments”: 30 minutes at night here, another 20 there. Soon, you have inadvertently turned a single piece of art meant to be consumed in a solitary sitting into an extended miniseries. For me, the length of each impromptu "episode" is often determined by how long my wife can go before falling asleep.

Look, I’m not pointing fingers…life is tiring. My personal resting state is exhausted. Both of us get up early, work all day, make lunches and dinners, and clean up improbable messes (You’re 11! Use a fork!). Come 9pm, sometimes the best either of us can muster is 15 minutes of The Bear before tapping out. Still, though, I’ve noticed that the kind of material we watch is directly proportional to how long my wife will last before the sweet siren’s call of slumber beckons her home.
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 18/09/2025
I don’t know about you all, but I need a timeline cleanse.

The world is feeling especially dour as of late, so I retreated to the thing that brings me comfort when I feel smothered by the darkness..

Yes, I am talking about food…
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 11/09/2025
Screengrab from my substack newsletter, There Isn't Time for That, reading: 

"I’ve made a lot of short films. All were impractical. But, I’d argue that, for all intents and purposes, all art is impractical: ideas that need to be expressed regardless of any rational reasoning. As soon as you start getting strategic or practical with what you want to create, you are essentially just making a corporate video—a corporate video for an imaginary non-paying client. Your art loses it’s soul.

I often think back to an interview that Mike Birbiglia did with the New York Times way back in 2016 (god, does that seem like an eternity ago!) during his press tour for the indie comedy Don’t Think Twice. In it, he said something that has stuck with me ever since: “Cleverness is Overrated, Heart is underrated.”
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 10/09/2025
Looking in the mirror
Screenshot of comedic legend Tim Meadows on season 2 of HBO's Peacemaker saying "Who's the Nerd?"
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 08/09/2025
Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar A book about the "big" topics that all great art is ostensibly about: the meaning of life, a rumination on death, etc. But, it's all done with a remarkable amount of creativity and heart. Some stuff feels undercooked, but hard to fault the ambition and imagination on display.
Book cover art for Kaveh Akbar's novel, "Martyr!"
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 04/09/2025
A screenshot from my newsletter reading the following: "I try to limit my 11 year-old son’s time on YouTube—I really do. But, ever since he got his first hit a few years ago (with Minecraft videos, naturally), he’s been more or less addicted. At first, I waved off the YouTube video obsession as a sort of boredom filler when he wasn’t allowed to watch TV or play video games, and thus, stole my phone just so he could watch ANY screen.

But, quickly, I realized something I found—if not outright alarming—certainly surprising: when screen time is allowed, he’d RATHER watch YouTube then watch TV or play video games. And, for the real kicker: he’d rather watch YouTube videos of SOMEONE ELSE playing video games then play them himself.

Perhaps I’m just slow on the uptake, but all this seems to speak to a fundamental shift in what we watch and why we watch it."
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
And, this jump cut from the Ring always gets me
Screenshot from Gore Verbinksi’s the Ring
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Ivan K @ivankander.bsky.social · 31/08/2025
I always have a soft spot for the orphanage
Tomas from the Orphanage
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