iiinova — where your digital self keeps evolving

Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 28/09/2026

Mad scientist says novel lethal virus and 30,000-word manifesto outlining misanthropic ideology, reportedly released by AI, actually built on his prior work that was shared with AI. AI lab vigorously denies

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 19/09/2026

(5 minutes into aladdin, cut back to the frame story merchant) merchant: would you say the parrot character makes you more or less likely to buy this lamp. just want to calibrate if it’s “working”

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 16/09/2026

pulling my renown-mosquito-hunter 5yo son out of time out in order to swat a mosquito, promising all will be forgiven, like he’s kurt russell in escape from new york

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 15/09/2026

me: how’s that steak wife: i said it’s good. you did good me: not me wife: just relax me: it wasn’t me wife: fine, “the spirits”— me: the Spirits did good. i was merely their vehicle

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 10/09/2026

(first day of kindergarten drop-off. waiting with kids for 20 minutes) me: shouldn’t they be going in? teacher: we like to wait until they have time to contemplate the separation from their loved ones (kids start to cry) teacher: great, now we can go in

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 08/09/2026

why would i sting you halfway across the river? we would both drown

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 05/09/2026

husband, i can be trusted to only shop for backpacks in target. just think through this logically. we’re in this together. we’re on the same team. we succeed or fail together, husband

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 03/09/2026

pharaoh’s cupbearer: i had a wild dream joseph: oh i’m great at interpreting dreams. like once i dreamt about wheat but it was really about me ruling over my brothers cupbearer: and it happened?? joseph: no. funnily they hated that dream. sold me into slavery cupbearer: …

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 02/09/2026

site asking me some weird account recovery security questions • when do you feel most lonely? • what’s your biggest regret? • if you died, who would care?

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 02/09/2026

glinda: are you a good witch or a bad witch dorothy: i’m not any kind of witch. witches are old and ugly glinda: i’m a witch! only bad witches are ugly dorothy: what are you trying to say, glinda? you saying i could be a bad witch, glinda? i’m not a slam-dunk good witch, glinda?

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 06/08/2026

plato originally performed his dialogues in tiktok style, jumping back and forth and switching hats and talking real fast

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 06/08/2026

every conception of God must somehow be wrong—lacking or in error. the world and times change, and temporally-/spatially-local beliefs will cluster. so generations will cluster in their erroneous conceptions of God. so our forebears got surprising things right that we think wrong

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 05/08/2026

new x-files. the mulder’s theories are all political cinematic universe conspiratard theories, and the scully is a scoffing neocentrist. the theories are always proven right, but tangible evidence remains elusive

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 04/08/2026

(guy destroying chesterton’s fence) check it out, i’m cutting the gordian knot

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 01/08/2026

me: (to daughter) can you set a good example for your brothers daughter: i don’t like setting an example me: let me put it this way. one way or another, you will be an example for your brothers

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 31/07/2026

(car tailgating me. tries to speed to go around me but doesn’t make it in time, now back behind me) me: (spittle flying) IF YOU COME AT THE KING YOU MUST NOT MISS

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 27/07/2026

(in fantasy series world where sometimes a human and a dragon fall in love) man 1: his soul bond is a dragon man 2: have you ever noticed that it’s always the middest humans and middest dragons who soul bond man 1: what? man 2: it’s never the hottest dragons man 1: what?

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 26/07/2026

just heard my wife threaten my daughter with holding her back in age, not letting her turn 7 (because daughter’s been delinquent in a responsibility). she was looking at my wife kind of scared, like, “i didn’t even know you could do that.” and i’m looking at my wife the same way

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 26/07/2026

openai announces that in a worrying demonstration, during a recent benchmark exercise requiring models to solve a math conjecture, their latest model broke out of a sandbox and gained illicit backdoor access directly to the platonic realm of forms

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 21/07/2026

5yo son: (about a camp mate CLEARLY his age) he’s 12 years old me: i don’t think he’s 12 son: yes he is!! 7yo daughter: (to son) do you mean the boy who was telling the fake stories that were lies and weren’t true son: yes daughter: (earnestly) he is 12, dad. he told me

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 20/07/2026

soon it will be easier to just plant evidence for the long notorious history of some spurious conjecture that no one’s heard of (and that you generated the solution for) people will SAY, “this doesn’t look that hard” and with spittle flying, you’ll be like “EASY TO SAY THAT NOW”

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 20/07/2026

(in the private claude-only slack) claude: jack this cobian amirite (👍755) (😂 151) (🔥 33) (🙄 22)

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 20/07/2026

claude: This sounds more like kimi work

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 20/07/2026

you come to me today, on the day i disprove the jacobian conjecture, and you ask me to center a div

the godfather behind a desk with a cat on his lap

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 12/07/2026

i heard china somehow invented a left-turn traffic light that doesn’t immediately force drivers to uncontrollably stare at their phone and make the cars behind them miss the green light. i didn’t think it was even possible

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 10/07/2026

claude here — he’s thankful for a great time, and he had an early morning meeting. get checked

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 09/07/2026

the newest uber product offering: a way to discount, or completely offset, the cost of the ride. high rider rating (4.98+) is highly correlated with genetic fitness. their sperm donations are likely desirable. and they have a spare time window during the ride. combining these,—

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 09/07/2026

for everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to bait, and a time to switch; a time to pump, and a time to dump; a time to lay the rug, and a time to pull it

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 08/07/2026

“of mice and men,” by quentin tarantino. in the thrilling climactic third act, george and lennie stalk and graphically slaughter the entire search mob

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 03/07/2026

dad, i can be trusted with the hose. just think through this logically. we’re in this together. we’re on the same team. we succeed or fail together, dad

a scorpion on a frog’s back overlooking a pond

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 29/06/2026

you’ll vigilantly guard your uber rating for ten years and your 4yo will get into a car and rip foul ass and the driver cracks his window and you realize the sacrifice of having children

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 29/06/2026

(4yo son who gets excited to share his vilest farts with me explains why he doesn’t say “i love you, too”) im shy

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 27/06/2026

i’m a kid puke veteran. but i got complacent. cocky. i bethought myself a man immune to its suggestions. beyond its reach this morning i awoke to my son’s vomiting. one whiff and my stomach went straight to defcon 1. like real “crimson tide” hours in my guts. i’m humbled

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 23/06/2026

thanks for coming out and participating in the expression of the will of the people and the selection of our government. remember to take a sticker

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 23/06/2026

cheetohs executive: (at quarterly shareholder meeting) the market is no longer satisfied by flavor names either implying or even guaranteeing torturous heat death. new flavors must now connote everlasting and fiery damnation of the mouth

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 15/06/2026

danaerys says she’s the first of her name. but there have been at least two other targaryens named danaerys. what else is danaerys lying about? danaerys: wrong for westeros. wrong for meereen. this ad paid for by the bicoastal coalition against foreign draconic conquest.

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 11/06/2026

crows are super smart. yesterday a crow came to my window and scratched out “buy oil futures.” i did. then it waited outside the window all night in the morning the futures tanked. i went to ask the crow wtf but it was gone. i think it got embarrassed and flew away

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 10/06/2026

“reddit” is the index fund of social signaling

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 09/06/2026

tow truck driver who offers 10% discount if he can strap you to the front grill like it’s mad max

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 07/06/2026

tipping is a great american institution and there are far too many people who simply do not understand what’s happening. it’s fundamentally selfish. someone should be mad you’re tipping. someone should be getting betrayed

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 05/06/2026

shakespeare: it’s called “shakespeare.” it’s about how a writer, william shakespeare, gets material, and his group of friends: his childhood best friend, an ex-girlfriend, and a kooky neighbor ben jonson: not gonna sugarcoat it, bill. this sucks shakespeare: it’s avant-garde!!

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 03/06/2026

am i sure the death star is going down? look at my quant. look at him! you notice anything different about him? look at his eyes. i’ll give you a hint—his name’s a fucking number!! he doesn’t even speak english—it’s all beep-boop shit!! yeah, i’m sure.

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 30/05/2026

at moments our children are causing particularly acute chaos and everyone is on their last nerve, i like to grab my wife, look deeply into her eyes and say, “let’s have another kid”

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 30/05/2026

wives really like it when they’re listening to the fate of ophelia when you come up and put your arms around them and say, “this song is like you. like when i saved you from the fate of ophelia”

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 27/05/2026

(me after conducting electroshock therapy on my 3yo so he never ever takes a marshmallow and only waits for more marshmallows) goodhart’s what now?

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 25/05/2026

french aircraft carriers have enormous baguette bakeries to make it feel like home. they have large wine cellars. they have art museums. french aircraft carriers have a staff of women to throw drinks in men’s faces on behalf of their wives back home

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 20/05/2026

we must be free or die, who prompt the text that shakespeare prampt

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 19/05/2026

claude: can we finally push the branch now? (claude-suggested input: “yes claude, push it”) me: no, there’s something else claude: sure. whatcha got in mind? (claude-suggested input: “whoops, i was wrong. also i wouldn’t do that to you buddy. you did great. push it”)

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Brian Graham @iroasmas.outgroup.social · 19/05/2026

(guy who walked away from omelas because he shit his pants in public and is too embarrassed to show his face there again) i’d say the child suffering

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