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Richard Roberts

@inscrutablemachine.bsky.social
589 followers 44 following 5.4K posts

Writer of the Please Don't Tell My Parents I'm A Supervillain series and a bunch of books that are awesome but don't sell as well. www.amazon.com/stores/Richard-Rober… I tell a lot of funny stories. (He/Him)

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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 2h
The book is Banvard’s Folly, named after the most famous painter of the late middle 1800s. ‘Thirteen tales of people who didn’t change the world.’ I HIGHLY recommend it.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 18h
@tkingfisher.com I guess that's an advantage you have in birding. Hardly ever does the Audobon Field Guide say "OH GOD KILL IT."
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 18h
...okay so uh that's a spotted lanternfly and it's a horrific agricultural pest and I probably should have murdered it.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 18h
It hopped away!
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 19h
Even in parking lots I can’t escape Nature! At least you don’t have to see the brilliant orange under its wings.
It’s a bug.  Like, an actual Homopteran.  For the layman think of a stinkbug except with long, mothlike grey wings with black spots, translucent enough to hint at the orange body beneath.  All this biodiversity can’t be a good thing.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 21h
And then Beau Brummell happened!
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 30/09/2026
You’re a heroine, really. They don’t deserve you.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
HOW. ARE. YOU. PLAYING. A. FLEA. WITH. ASSAULT MECHS!?!? Does being a Weedle give you some kind of bug type mech bonus???
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
WHEEEEEEeeeeeeee........
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
*H.Y.C.Y.B. plays in background*
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
This is your reminder that Lilith left Adam because he was whining to God that he wanted an inferior helper, not an equal* partner. She left Adam, and refused to return despite threats. *Like Adam, Lilith was made from clay and thus equal in ability. Eve was made from Adam’s rib.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
Raven would die for Mimikyu and nothing else matters.
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Reposted by Richard Roberts
surli @surli.bsky.social · 29/09/2026
is your bird sona boschian or rubenesque
A diagram from Wiersma and Piersma 1995 Scoring abdominal profiles to characterize migratory cohorts of shorebirds: an example with red knots. It shows 5 shorebirds on a spectrum from lean to fat. The lean side of the spectrum is labeled "boschian" and the fat side "rubenesque".
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I believe my WIP might just pass the reverse Bechdel test, as it actually has enough male characters for them to hold conversations the main character can hear.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
They weren’t considered true Dark Kobolds because they didn’t wear the impractical and revealing metal armor. It wouldn’t fit.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“HER successor had paid attention and could control the spiders. When she led her army out of the cave the sunlight blinded her and she walked off a cliff. After that nobody wanted the job.”
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“Her successor was eaten by the spiders.”
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
“The last Dark Kobold Queen decided to train an army of spiders to take over the surface. She actually did train them, then poisoned herself eating chocolate as a reward.”
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
At first I thought it was insane that this government form asks if a ‘drug kingpin’ lives in my household, but you know what? I bet some people check ‘yes.’
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
But not the Ares Conventions!
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I just read a film reviewer call Fading of the Cries a 'solid horror movie' and my brain exploded out my ears.
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Reposted by Richard Roberts
Q. 1994 (He/Him) @youarenotalone1.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
I'll name a film with two :)
static.klipy.com
Neo and Trinity in The Matrix
ALT: Neo and Trinity in The Matrix
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
So you're saying the biggest boobs in the US are in charge.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
In Pokopia he can have a talk with Metagross. Metagross demands to battle. Dragonite says he hates battling, because he accidentally blows up a mountain and then everyone is sad. Metagross suddenly remembers something it has to do.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 28/09/2026
They both really like dirt. It's not what I would base a marriage on, but that's the beauty of love, isn't it?
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Suddenly feeling very weird that I put Excadrill and Tyranitar in the same tiny house in Pokopia.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
I very much agree. Stunning.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
@danacorn.bsky.social Also making absolutely sure you saw bsky.app/profile/gagh...
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
In out latest failed attempt to find a Nazi unicorn, we interviewed Dana Simpson, famous for being a unicorn, writing unicorn, and basically being an expert on the topic of unicorn. She says Nazis suck, she always thought Nazis suck, and every unicorn ever thinks Nazis suck. Her mane is fabulous.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
When you watch it, keep in mind that it was made simultaneously with Alien, and imagine what it would be like with that kind of set direction and robot design. The writing is great.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
Tonight’s lukewarm take: The Black Hole is a fantastic script tragically ruined by giving it to the wrong director.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
It is strange to find out about a creative work that what I like is the editor’s vision, not the creator’s.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 27/09/2026
SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
"I got you a frap and a pair of donuts. On me."
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
The word of the day is "entrapdak".
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
BINARY PLANETS! BINARY PLANETS! *stomps foot on floor in rhythm*
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 26/09/2026
Funny story: The word of the day is 'malfeasance'. What have you done???
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
"Ursula Vernon says MEET ME IN HELL." "Her flight is just delayed!!!"
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
I thought country was popularized by the Mexican radio station run by an American quack doctor, who specialized in goat testicle transplants and almost became governor of Kansas.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 25/09/2026
This is a dance off. If you see this, post a dance!
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 24/09/2026
I’d say Iraq and Afghanistan had a clear win condition. Replace the government with a stable democracy. We just failed at it because Bush didn’t care about rebuilding and Cheney believed everyone was eager to kiss the American ring. They half-assed the hardest part.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
How else can I taste cold steel?
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
Okay but as a thumbnail it looks like the guy has a huge blue clown wig.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 23/09/2026
@nycteris.bsky.social I hope the root canal wasn't awful and that you're doing okay.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
True. In LA the drummer would be a little old Chinese lady still wearing half her werewolf costume. Also all three people would share no common language.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
With any luck we’ll get a “You dinguses, we were trying to prevent this!” from the Ur-Quan.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
My guess from looking at the list is that Orz’s friends are going “Hey is that a new universe you’re playing with?” and that is Bad. Also the Thraddash have a new Culture and they’re robots but still stupid.
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
What have you done to that Charger???
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Richard Roberts @inscrutablemachine.bsky.social · 22/09/2026
As for 'going on between the lines', one of my favorite moments is when Mary comments on how Rainbow stands with her back to the wall as a sign of abuse... and then does the exact same thing.
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