HOUSTON, TX— Clicking past his single-slide conflict of interest disclosure at the beginning of a departmental grand rounds Monday morning, MD Anderson translational oncologist Dr.

CHAPEL HILL, NC—Praising it as the definitive treatment of the source material, literary scholars confirmed Monday that Prof.

By Dr. Martin Kessler, Postdoctoral Fellow, Department of Cell Biology, University of Pennsylvania

HOUSTON, TX—An HPLC column confirmed Tuesday that it had been reverse flushed without its consent, describing the experience as “violating” and “completely unnecessary.” “The manual is very clear…

BOSTON, MA—Postdoctoral researcher Dr.

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Molecular biologist and social media influencer Dr.

SOUTH SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Genentech head of Research and Early Development Aviv Regev confirmed Tuesday that her 12-year-old daughter independently conceived, designed, and executed a 450,000-cell…

COLLEGE STATION, TX — Sources across the Varma laboratory at Texas A&M University confirmed Monday that research technician Marcus Cole, 28, who can accurately pipette an entire 384-well plate while…

PHILADELPHIA, PA—Effective Monday, all University of Pennsylvania researchers seeking to purchase laboratory-grade ethanol must first pass a comprehensive background check, submit to a polygraph…

CHEVY CHASE, MD—In a landmark effort to expand opportunity in the biomedical sciences, the Howard Hughes Medical Institute announced Tuesday a new $200 million initiative to support scientists from…

By Dr. Douglas R. Waverly, Professor Emeritus of Biochemistry, Yale University

CHICAGO, IL—A manuscript that has remained in a tote bag since the 2025 ASBMB conference confirmed Tuesday that it still remembers when it was freshly printed and full of hope.

COLUMBIA, SC—An assistant professor who fell asleep during a departmental seminar Tuesday claimed he was emulating renowned geneticist George Church, sources confirmed.

BALTIMORE, MD—A study published Tuesday in PLOS ONE found that approximately 40% of doctoral training is now spent confirming the researcher is not a robot, primarily through the selection of squares…

MADISON, WI—In a Substack post that has been shared widely by both supporters and critics, Trad Grad devotee and third-year chemistry student Lisa Choi argued Tuesday that imposter syndrome is “not a…

BOSTON, MA—Refreshing his brokerage app for the fortieth time Wednesday afternoon, retail investor Marcus Feeney, 44, confirmed that Moderna’s 177% single-day surge on positive Phase 3 melanoma data…

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Anthropic announced an expansion of their new AI for Science initiative Thursday in the hope that helping cure diseases might make people feel warmly toward the artificial…

BETHESDA, MD—The National Institutes of Health announced Tuesday that it would replace its 50-year-old numerical scoring system with a streamlined three-emoji format, in which grant applications will ...

CHICAGO, IL — Dr.

BOSTON, MA—Describing the close-knit culture of his laboratory, Boston University professor Dr.

YOUR TOWN, USA—The National Institutes of Health denied your R01 renewal Tuesday after discovering that you spent four months in Florence, Italy, in 2006, during what agency officials described as a…

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Harvard University’s Department of Molecular & Cellular Biology held its annual new graduate student orientation Tuesday in the backseat of a used Honda Pilot belonging to Director of…

SEATTLE, WA—Holding her breath as the analytical balance stabilized Monday morning, University of Washington graduate student Aubrey Smith, 27, experienced a fleeting moment of pure joy as the digital...

LEXINGTON, MA—Trailing off midway through an introduction at the JP Morgan Healthcare Conference and then restarting with a slightly different pronunciation, Uniqure executives confirmed Tuesday they...

BETHESDA, MD—Expressing growing concern about a trend that has accelerated markedly since his confirmation in March, aides to NIH Director Jay Bhattacharya confirmed Tuesday that the director’s neckties...

BOSTON, MA—In a statement released Monday following the retraction of a high-profile Nature paper, Whitehead Institute principal investigator Dr.

By Marcus Chen, CEO, Omnimodal Therapeutics

BOSTON, MA—Expressing grave concern about the spread of bogus medical claims online, Harvard longevity researcher Dr.

AUSTIN, TX—Gesturing toward the empty first three rows of the seminar room as graduate students and postdocs filed in and immediately occupied seats along the back wall, University of Texas Biochemistry...

YOUR HOUSE, USA—In a development that sources describe as “honestly just insulting at this point,” Harvard chemist and Broad Institute core member David Liu remains younger than you despite having...

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Expressing calm assurance that the pattern of technology transfer, appropriation, and eventual displacement that has occurred in manufacturing, solar panels, semiconductors, telecommunications,...

BOSTON, MA—Beaming with pride as he introduced his newborn son to colleagues at a departmental happy hour, Boston University biochemist Dr.

CHICAGO, IL—Sitting in increasingly tense silence as the third act of “Batman Begins” unfolded on the television screen, Abbvie scientist Dr.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Expressing concern about the intellectual insularity of government-funded research, Excursion Therapeutics co-founder and AI evangelist Marcus Aldrich accused NIH-funded scientists...

To Catalyse A New Golden Age of Science By Preventing the Postdocs of America from Being a Burden on Parents, Institutions, & GDP, and Making Them Beneficial to the Semiconductor Industry

SAN DIEGO, CA—An assistant professor who asked HHMI Investigator and National Academy member Dr.

SAN DIEGO, CA—Oncology researcher Dr.

BETHESDA, MD—In an effort to maximize flexibility and ensure taxpayer dollars are allocated responsibly, the National Institutes of Health announced Tuesday that it would transition all research…

SAN DIEGO, CA—Citing time constraints, Dr.

STANFORD, CA—Colleagues expressed relief Wednesday upon learning that a Nature paper had emerged intact from a graduate student’s complete psychological collapse, which occurred midway through the…

DURHAM, NC—A Bio-Rad T100 thermal cycler in the Chen laboratory at Duke University faithfully completed 35 cycles of denaturation, annealing, and extension on a series of tubes containing no…

BOSTON, MA—Online sportsbook FanDuel announced Tuesday the launch of a live betting platform for academic seminars, featuring real-time odds on audience questions, with the flagship market centered…

WASHINGTON—A University of South Carolina postdoctoral researcher who had been banned from his laboratory for eating a Big Mac at his bench was reinstated Tuesday after President Donald Trump…

CHICAGO, IL—Traveling to a conference in San Diego, University of Chicago biochemist Dr.

ANDOVER, NH—A limited run of 50 mesh trucker hats reading “DEFERENCE” in block white letters sold out in under two hours at the 2026 Natural Products Gordon Research Conference, according to Trad...

HARTFORD, CT—Viewers of Monday Night Raw were puzzled this week when cameras briefly captured Rockefeller University neurobiologist Dr.

BOSTON, MA—Carefully folding running shoes, workout shorts, and a moisture-wicking shirt into her suitcase Sunday evening, Boston University biochemist Dr.

AUSTIN, TX—In the second safety incident this month involving Trad Grad influencer Derek Volker, the fifth-year graduate student was issued a formal safety citation Tuesday after refusing to use a fume...

DURHAM, NC—A high-performance liquid chromatography column passed away Tuesday at approximately 3:47 PM, surrounded by the very people who had caused its death, sources confirmed.

SILVER SPRING, MD—An FDA advisory committee called a mandatory three-minute hydration break Tuesday just as a biotech sponsor was about to reveal overall survival data for its experimental cancer…